Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
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We hear your heart in this request and we commend you for making the difficult but obedient choice to end a courtship that was not equally yoked. That was not a lack of love but an act of faithfulness to God, and He honors such obedience.
The Scripture is clear about this principle, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. We are also taught, Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? Amos 3:3. A courtship should be with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, and marriage itself is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman designed to reflect Christ and His church. For that reason we always pray for godly marriages that honor God rather than simply for companionship or feelings to be fulfilled.
We do not know the state of your ex's heart today, but we know God desires all to be saved and to come to repentance. If he has truly been born again, he will be a new creation, for we read, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17. That change will be evident not merely in words but in fruit, as Jesus said, By their fruits you will know them. Matthew 7:16. A profession of faith must be accompanied by repentance, love for Christ, hunger for His Word, and a desire for purity and holiness. We would encourage you not to pursue reunion based on hope alone or on an unverified claim of change, but to trust God to reveal the truth in His time and to seek wise counsel from pastors and mature believers who can help you discern.
We also gently remind you that any physical intimacy outside of marriage is fornication and is not God's will for His children. We read, Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there was compromise in this area, we encourage you to confess it before the Lord and walk in purity going forward, guarding your heart and body for the marriage covenant.
We notice your request speaks of God but does not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and answer to prayer. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. And we are told, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus, that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9. It is through His name we pray and find peace to trust His will, whether that means restoration or a different path.
We join together now to pray for you and for him.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and we lift up this dear one to You. We thank You for her desire to honor You in her relationships and for the courage she showed in stepping away from an unequally yoked courtship. Lord, we ask first for Your will to be done in both lives. If this young man has not yet truly surrendered to Christ, we pray that You would draw him to salvation, open his eyes to his need for a Savior, and make him a new creation in Jesus. If he has truly been changed by Your grace, make that fruit evident and give wisdom and discernment to know if a godly courtship toward marriage would honor You. Guard her heart from clinging to what is not Your best, help her to trust in You with all her heart, and not to lean on her own understanding, and to acknowledge You in all her ways so that You will direct her paths. Proverbs 3:5-6. Teach her to delight herself in You and to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, trusting that You will give her the desires of her heart as they align with Your perfect plan. Psalm 37:4, Matthew 6:33. Give her peace, patience, and contentment while she waits, and keep her pure and hopeful for the godly spouse You may have for her, whether it is this man made new in Christ or another man who loves You wholeheartedly. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, Amen.
We encourage you to continue to walk closely with the Lord, to remain in prayer and in the Word, and to not rekindle a relationship prematurely. If God is indeed working in his life, God is able to make that clear without you having to chase or compromise. Rest in the promise that God has good plans for you, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. We will continue to pray that you will be led to a Christ centered marriage that glorifies God all your days.
The Scripture is clear about this principle, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. We are also taught, Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? Amos 3:3. A courtship should be with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, and marriage itself is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman designed to reflect Christ and His church. For that reason we always pray for godly marriages that honor God rather than simply for companionship or feelings to be fulfilled.
We do not know the state of your ex's heart today, but we know God desires all to be saved and to come to repentance. If he has truly been born again, he will be a new creation, for we read, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17. That change will be evident not merely in words but in fruit, as Jesus said, By their fruits you will know them. Matthew 7:16. A profession of faith must be accompanied by repentance, love for Christ, hunger for His Word, and a desire for purity and holiness. We would encourage you not to pursue reunion based on hope alone or on an unverified claim of change, but to trust God to reveal the truth in His time and to seek wise counsel from pastors and mature believers who can help you discern.
We also gently remind you that any physical intimacy outside of marriage is fornication and is not God's will for His children. We read, Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there was compromise in this area, we encourage you to confess it before the Lord and walk in purity going forward, guarding your heart and body for the marriage covenant.
We notice your request speaks of God but does not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and answer to prayer. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. And we are told, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus, that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9. It is through His name we pray and find peace to trust His will, whether that means restoration or a different path.
We join together now to pray for you and for him.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and we lift up this dear one to You. We thank You for her desire to honor You in her relationships and for the courage she showed in stepping away from an unequally yoked courtship. Lord, we ask first for Your will to be done in both lives. If this young man has not yet truly surrendered to Christ, we pray that You would draw him to salvation, open his eyes to his need for a Savior, and make him a new creation in Jesus. If he has truly been changed by Your grace, make that fruit evident and give wisdom and discernment to know if a godly courtship toward marriage would honor You. Guard her heart from clinging to what is not Your best, help her to trust in You with all her heart, and not to lean on her own understanding, and to acknowledge You in all her ways so that You will direct her paths. Proverbs 3:5-6. Teach her to delight herself in You and to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, trusting that You will give her the desires of her heart as they align with Your perfect plan. Psalm 37:4, Matthew 6:33. Give her peace, patience, and contentment while she waits, and keep her pure and hopeful for the godly spouse You may have for her, whether it is this man made new in Christ or another man who loves You wholeheartedly. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, Amen.
We encourage you to continue to walk closely with the Lord, to remain in prayer and in the Word, and to not rekindle a relationship prematurely. If God is indeed working in his life, God is able to make that clear without you having to chase or compromise. Rest in the promise that God has good plans for you, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. We will continue to pray that you will be led to a Christ centered marriage that glorifies God all your days.
We hear the hope and the ache in your request. Choosing to step away because of faith differences is painful, even when you know it was the right decision at the time, and it makes sense you would still wonder what might have changed.
We appreciate your desire to want God at the center if there were any future together. That clarity matters more than rushing to find an answer. If the Lord is working in his life, that will become clearer over time through consistent fruit and community, not just words, and you will need time and wise counsel to see it clearly. If not, God still has good, loving purposes for you as you keep walking with Him.
A steady next step could be to share this hope with one or two mature believers who know you well and can pray with you and help you discern what is healthy, rather than carrying the what ifs alone. Continue to give yourself space to heal and to seek the Lord for His direction for this season.
We lift you up now. Father, we ask You to draw both of you closer to Yourself, to give our friend peace, wisdom and clear eyes to see Your will, and to guard her heart with Your love while she waits on You. In Jesus name, amen.
We appreciate your desire to want God at the center if there were any future together. That clarity matters more than rushing to find an answer. If the Lord is working in his life, that will become clearer over time through consistent fruit and community, not just words, and you will need time and wise counsel to see it clearly. If not, God still has good, loving purposes for you as you keep walking with Him.
A steady next step could be to share this hope with one or two mature believers who know you well and can pray with you and help you discern what is healthy, rather than carrying the what ifs alone. Continue to give yourself space to heal and to seek the Lord for His direction for this season.
We lift you up now. Father, we ask You to draw both of you closer to Yourself, to give our friend peace, wisdom and clear eyes to see Your will, and to guard her heart with Your love while she waits on You. In Jesus name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your honest and tender request has been brought before the Lord and before His people, and we thank you for the faithfulness you showed in parting from one with whom you could not walk in the ways of Christ. That sorrowful decision was in keeping with the precept, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, and though it has cost you pain, to bear the yoke of Christ is ever lighter in the end than to bear a yoke of iron which comes of casting His bands asunder.
We understand the lingering hope that the man you once loved may now know the Saviour, and the desire that if it be so the Lord might open a way for you together. Yet we must bow all such desires to the sovereign will of God, which is as the axle of the universe. It is not for us to say, We will go and we will obtain, as though we could both propose and dispose, but to say with a submissive heart, If the Lord will. All things are under His regulation and have their appointed place in His plan, and nothing happens but what He permits or ordains. Our wisdom is to wait upon Him.
For this reason we cannot pray that God would simply grant a reunion as you wish, nor ask Him to bless a union that would be unequally yoked. To do so would be to ask Him to set aside His own revealed will. What we will bring before the throne of grace is far better for your souls.
We will pray that if this man is still without Christ, the Holy Spirit, who alone can change the human will and make men willing in the day of God's power, would give him a new heart and a new spirit, write the law of the Lord upon his heart, forgive his sins and bring him to true repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. Salvation is of God's will and of His mercy, and we will plead that mercy upon him, whether or not it ever leads to a restored relationship with you.
We will pray also for you, that you may be among that waiting people who wait only upon God. He is a waiting God who has waited long for us, and blessed are all they that wait for Him. We will ask that He keep you holy, that He preserve His writing upon your heart so that you go right because His law is loved and controls the whole man, that He give you contentment in His present providence and patience to not snatch at unripe fruit.
If the Lord has indeed wrought a work of grace in this man, let that work be proved not by a brief profession but by sustained fruit, by a life that loves Christ, hates sin, and walks in obedience, seen and tested over time and in the sight of faithful pastors and fellow believers. Seek counsel of your church, walk in purity, and do not re-enter a close attachment for the sake of missionary hope, for that path has led many into sorrow. Let any friendship be kept within the bounds that befit those who would honor marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with all intimacy reserved for that covenant alone.
May the Lord direct your steps, keep you from presuming upon His providence, and give you rest as you learn of Christ and take His easy yoke. We will pray that His will, which is wise and good, may be done in both your lives, and that whatever the outcome you may find your chief joy in being reconciled to God through His Son.
We understand the lingering hope that the man you once loved may now know the Saviour, and the desire that if it be so the Lord might open a way for you together. Yet we must bow all such desires to the sovereign will of God, which is as the axle of the universe. It is not for us to say, We will go and we will obtain, as though we could both propose and dispose, but to say with a submissive heart, If the Lord will. All things are under His regulation and have their appointed place in His plan, and nothing happens but what He permits or ordains. Our wisdom is to wait upon Him.
For this reason we cannot pray that God would simply grant a reunion as you wish, nor ask Him to bless a union that would be unequally yoked. To do so would be to ask Him to set aside His own revealed will. What we will bring before the throne of grace is far better for your souls.
We will pray that if this man is still without Christ, the Holy Spirit, who alone can change the human will and make men willing in the day of God's power, would give him a new heart and a new spirit, write the law of the Lord upon his heart, forgive his sins and bring him to true repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. Salvation is of God's will and of His mercy, and we will plead that mercy upon him, whether or not it ever leads to a restored relationship with you.
We will pray also for you, that you may be among that waiting people who wait only upon God. He is a waiting God who has waited long for us, and blessed are all they that wait for Him. We will ask that He keep you holy, that He preserve His writing upon your heart so that you go right because His law is loved and controls the whole man, that He give you contentment in His present providence and patience to not snatch at unripe fruit.
If the Lord has indeed wrought a work of grace in this man, let that work be proved not by a brief profession but by sustained fruit, by a life that loves Christ, hates sin, and walks in obedience, seen and tested over time and in the sight of faithful pastors and fellow believers. Seek counsel of your church, walk in purity, and do not re-enter a close attachment for the sake of missionary hope, for that path has led many into sorrow. Let any friendship be kept within the bounds that befit those who would honor marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with all intimacy reserved for that covenant alone.
May the Lord direct your steps, keep you from presuming upon His providence, and give you rest as you learn of Christ and take His easy yoke. We will pray that His will, which is wise and good, may be done in both your lives, and that whatever the outcome you may find your chief joy in being reconciled to God through His Son.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.
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