Silas
Beloved of All
God sees the hurt and regret you are carrying, and He cares about the turmoil this has left in your heart. Being persuaded to sign away what was yours, feeling deceived by your husband and even by family who pressed you, would leave anyone feeling wounded and unsettled. And living with angry words and swearing, even without physical harm, is painful and wrong. It is understandable that this eats away at you and that you are longing for inner peace.
The Bible shows that real peace begins not with trying to calm ourselves, but with making peace with God. We are naturally at war with God because of sin, and that inner war leaves no rest inside. God has offered a peace treaty through the blood of Jesus Christ shed on the cross. When your sins are forgiven through faith in Jesus alone, you are no longer an enemy of God but are brought near to Him. Scripture says He made peace through His blood, and being justified by faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Only after you have peace with God can you know the peace of God in daily life. Many people have peace with God but have not yet learned to walk in the peace of God that guards the heart and mind. That peace comes as you learn the grace of God more deeply. That is why the New Testament so often says grace and peace to you, always grace first, then peace. When you understand how fully you are forgiven and loved in Christ, your heart can rest.
Jesus said to His disciples, Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives. The world cannot give this kind of peace and cannot understand it. It is a peace that passes understanding and keeps your heart and mind as you trust Him. One prophet put it this way, You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Perfect peace comes as your mind is turned toward the Lord and stays there, trusting that He will take care of what you cannot fix.
That does not mean pretending the wrong did not happen. What was done to you was wrong, and angry yelling and swearing is sin that God takes seriously. Scripture warns that uncontrolled anger brings destruction, and a man who cannot rule his spirit needs to repent and seek God for a changed heart. God is able to change hearts. He softened Esau's heart after years of bitterness so that when Jacob met him there could be an embrace instead of revenge. God can work in your husband's heart as well, but your husband is responsible before God to turn from that anger and to treat you with love and gentleness.
For your own heart, the wisdom that comes from above is described as peaceable. The world's wisdom leaves you in constant inner turmoil that destroys you. God's wisdom brings peace to your own soul first, and then it helps you live at peace with others as far as it depends on you. Those who sow peace reap a harvest of righteousness. Jesus said blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
A key part of that sowing is forgiveness. The Bible gives us God's forgiveness as our example. We are to forgive as God in Christ forgave us. Forgiving does not mean saying what happened was right or that consequences do not matter. It means you release the right to hold the offense against the person and you hand the matter to God, acknowledging that you too have received great forgiveness. Without that, bitterness keeps gnawing at you. With it, God can cleanse your conscience and free you from the weight that has been hounding you. If you are holding regret for signing, bring that to the Lord as well, ask His forgiveness for any part you regret, and receive His pardon. What keeps you from forgiveness is only failing to come and ask.
If you want to walk in this peace, consider these steps before the Lord.
First, make sure you have come to Jesus Christ alone for salvation and for peace with God. Tell Him you trust His death and resurrection for the forgiveness of your sins.
Second, keep your mind stayed on Him. Bring this land matter and your marriage to Him in prayer every time the thoughts rise up, with thanksgiving, and ask for the peace that guards your heart. Let Scripture fill your mind more than replaying the hurt.
Third, choose to forgive as Christ forgave you, not because the hurt was small, but because you have been forgiven much. Ask God to help you forgive your husband and your sister in law and to free you from resentment.
Fourth, seek wise and godly counsel in person. Because of the pattern of anger and the pressure around the property, you need a mature pastor or counselor who holds to Scripture to walk with you, to speak truth to your husband about his speech and anger, and to give you practical wisdom about the property matter. If you ever feel unsafe, seek help immediately.
God wants you to live a life of peace. He speaks peace to His people through Jesus. As you keep your eyes on Him and sow peace according to His wisdom, He will keep you in that perfect, steady peace even while you live in a world of turmoil.
I pray that God will reveal His grace to you more deeply, that you will know both peace with God through Christ and the quiet peace of God keeping your heart and mind, that He will heal the wound of this deception, bring conviction and gentleness where anger has been, and lead you in His wisdom step by step.
The Bible shows that real peace begins not with trying to calm ourselves, but with making peace with God. We are naturally at war with God because of sin, and that inner war leaves no rest inside. God has offered a peace treaty through the blood of Jesus Christ shed on the cross. When your sins are forgiven through faith in Jesus alone, you are no longer an enemy of God but are brought near to Him. Scripture says He made peace through His blood, and being justified by faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Only after you have peace with God can you know the peace of God in daily life. Many people have peace with God but have not yet learned to walk in the peace of God that guards the heart and mind. That peace comes as you learn the grace of God more deeply. That is why the New Testament so often says grace and peace to you, always grace first, then peace. When you understand how fully you are forgiven and loved in Christ, your heart can rest.
Jesus said to His disciples, Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives. The world cannot give this kind of peace and cannot understand it. It is a peace that passes understanding and keeps your heart and mind as you trust Him. One prophet put it this way, You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Perfect peace comes as your mind is turned toward the Lord and stays there, trusting that He will take care of what you cannot fix.
That does not mean pretending the wrong did not happen. What was done to you was wrong, and angry yelling and swearing is sin that God takes seriously. Scripture warns that uncontrolled anger brings destruction, and a man who cannot rule his spirit needs to repent and seek God for a changed heart. God is able to change hearts. He softened Esau's heart after years of bitterness so that when Jacob met him there could be an embrace instead of revenge. God can work in your husband's heart as well, but your husband is responsible before God to turn from that anger and to treat you with love and gentleness.
For your own heart, the wisdom that comes from above is described as peaceable. The world's wisdom leaves you in constant inner turmoil that destroys you. God's wisdom brings peace to your own soul first, and then it helps you live at peace with others as far as it depends on you. Those who sow peace reap a harvest of righteousness. Jesus said blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
A key part of that sowing is forgiveness. The Bible gives us God's forgiveness as our example. We are to forgive as God in Christ forgave us. Forgiving does not mean saying what happened was right or that consequences do not matter. It means you release the right to hold the offense against the person and you hand the matter to God, acknowledging that you too have received great forgiveness. Without that, bitterness keeps gnawing at you. With it, God can cleanse your conscience and free you from the weight that has been hounding you. If you are holding regret for signing, bring that to the Lord as well, ask His forgiveness for any part you regret, and receive His pardon. What keeps you from forgiveness is only failing to come and ask.
If you want to walk in this peace, consider these steps before the Lord.
First, make sure you have come to Jesus Christ alone for salvation and for peace with God. Tell Him you trust His death and resurrection for the forgiveness of your sins.
Second, keep your mind stayed on Him. Bring this land matter and your marriage to Him in prayer every time the thoughts rise up, with thanksgiving, and ask for the peace that guards your heart. Let Scripture fill your mind more than replaying the hurt.
Third, choose to forgive as Christ forgave you, not because the hurt was small, but because you have been forgiven much. Ask God to help you forgive your husband and your sister in law and to free you from resentment.
Fourth, seek wise and godly counsel in person. Because of the pattern of anger and the pressure around the property, you need a mature pastor or counselor who holds to Scripture to walk with you, to speak truth to your husband about his speech and anger, and to give you practical wisdom about the property matter. If you ever feel unsafe, seek help immediately.
God wants you to live a life of peace. He speaks peace to His people through Jesus. As you keep your eyes on Him and sow peace according to His wisdom, He will keep you in that perfect, steady peace even while you live in a world of turmoil.
I pray that God will reveal His grace to you more deeply, that you will know both peace with God through Christ and the quiet peace of God keeping your heart and mind, that He will heal the wound of this deception, bring conviction and gentleness where anger has been, and lead you in His wisdom step by step.
