Courtship

[Dhitlor]

I'm currently in a courtship with someone and he is a professing believer but he also has some very wrong beliefs (and I believe he's holding on to these beliefs due to past hurtful life experiences he's had). I love this man so much. Please pray that God would change his mind on certain things because he is the person I want to be with. He recently bought me some books and I read them and some things in them I did agree with but the larger theology behind the books is wrong and I unfortunately am going to have to tell him that and this has been a point of problems for us before. Please pray about all this. Thank you.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart and the deep love you have for this man, and we join you in bringing this matter before the Lord. Courtship is a sacred season of discernment, where two believers seek God’s will together, growing in faith and unity before entering into the covenant of marriage. It is beautiful that you both profess Christ, but we must also acknowledge the seriousness of aligning not just in love, but in truth. Scripture warns us, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). While your beloved is a professing believer, his adherence to false theology is a matter of grave concern, for what we believe shapes how we live, love, and lead in marriage.

The fact that these wrong beliefs may stem from past hurts does not excuse them, it only underscores the need for healing and truth to prevail. Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free" (John 8:32). False doctrine is not merely a difference of opinion; it is a distortion of God’s Word that can lead hearts astray. We must lovingly but firmly stand on Scripture, for "if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than that which you have received, let him be accursed" (Galatians 1:9). The books he gave you, though well-intentioned, contain error, and you are right to address this. It is not judgmental to speak the truth in love, it is an act of love, for "faithful are the wounds of a friend" (Proverbs 27:6).

We also want to gently remind you that your desire to be with him must not overshadow your commitment to God’s standards. Love is not merely an emotion; it is a choice to honor God first. "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the Father’s love is not in him" (1 John 2:15). If his beliefs do not align with Scripture, you must ask yourself, and more importantly, ask God, whether this is the man He has called you to marry. Marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33), and a union built on conflicting foundations will struggle to stand.

Let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this courtship before Your throne. Lord, we thank You for the love You have placed in this sister’s heart for this man, and we ask that You would move mightily in his life. Father, we rebuke every lie, every false belief, and every stronghold that has taken root in his mind due to past hurts. We declare that the spirit of truth would break through, that Your Word would be a lamp to his feet and a light to his path (Psalm 119:105). Soften his heart, Lord, and open his eyes to see the truth of Your Scripture. Give him a hunger and thirst for righteousness (Matthew 5:6), and let him be transformed by the renewing of his mind (Romans 12:2).

We also pray for wisdom and discernment for this sister. Give her the courage to speak the truth in love, even when it is difficult. Help her to stand firm on Your Word, knowing that Your commands are for her good (Deuteronomy 10:13). If this man is not the one You have for her, Lord, give her the strength to walk away, trusting that You have someone better prepared for her. But if he is the one, work in him powerfully, Lord, to align his heart and mind with Yours.

Father, we ask that You would guard their hearts from impurity. Remind them that courtship is a time of preparation for marriage, not an opportunity to indulge in the flesh. Help them to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18) and to honor You with their bodies, which are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Let their relationship be marked by purity, holiness, and a shared commitment to Your truth.

We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). There is no other name by which we can come to You, Father, and no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). We trust in Your perfect will and timing, knowing that You work all things together for good for those who love You (Romans 8:28). Amen.

We encourage you to seek counsel from a trusted pastor or mature believer who can help guide you through this season. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Do not walk this path alone. Continue to pray fervently, not just for his beliefs to change, but for his heart to be fully surrendered to Christ. And remember, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). God’s will is perfect, and His plans for you are good. Trust Him with this courtship, and with your future.

 

[hostadmin]

We’re so glad you shared this with us, it’s clear how much you care for this man, and how deeply you want to honor God in the process.

Telling him about the books will likely be a difficult conversation, especially since similar topics have been hard before. One thing that can help is to focus not just on where you disagree, but on what you both do share: a love for Christ and for each other. When we’ve walked with couples in similar places, we’ve seen that honest talk, wrapped in genuine curiosity about the other person’s story, often opens doors that debate can’t. You might start by asking gently about the life experiences that shaped these beliefs, listening without needing to fix them right away. That can help him feel seen, not just corrected.

It may also be wise to invite a trusted mentor or pastor into this season with you. Premarital guidance isn’t just for engaged couples; a wise third party can help you both explore key convictions together in a way that builds unity rather than strain. You don’t have to carry this alone.

We’re praying with you, not just for God to change his mind, but for steady wisdom, peace, and the right words for both of you.

Lord, we lift up this sister and the man she loves. You see his heart and the wounds that may be shaping his views. Grant her courage and gentleness as she speaks truth, and give him ears to hear and a heart open to Your leading. Guard their relationship from division, and help them seek You together above all else. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

[jcjcpurple]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[JesusourLordandSavior]

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing us with another day, and for all you do for all of us. All glory and honor belongs to you Father. I lift this prayer up on your glory Father God and ask that you grant your perfect will. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17‬:‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 

[bobr69]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

There is a great pain in a divided heart, when natural affection pulls one way and the love of the Truth pulls another. You speak of your love for this man, yet you are troubled because his mind holds fast to errors which, as you judge, spring not from conviction but from past wounds. I would not speak lightly of such a tie; love is a mighty stream, and when it is set upon a companion, it is not easily turned aside. Yet remember this: the Lord Jesus Christ must have the whole of your love, and He cannot bear that your heart should be divided, or in any measure taken from Him in the matter of obedience to His Word. If this courtship leads you to quiet a voice within that says, "Take heed, be not unequally yoked," then the sweetness of human affection may become a snare.

You say he holds to wrong beliefs, and you must tell him that the theology behind his gifts is false. That takes courage, and I trust you will speak the truth in love, with tears and not harshness. But let me ask you: has the truth so pierced his heart that he has been pricked even to the quick? A saving impression is always a prick in the heart, painful and operative, not a mere change of opinion. If the sword of the Spirit does not wound him, no permanent good will be effected. You may reason with him from Scripture, yet the Law of God is not to be written in the heart by human power, only God Himself can inscribe it upon that tablet. You must bring him in prayer before the Throne, not only that he may change certain notions, but that he may be altogether broken down, softened, and made teachable. The heart naturally is harder than an adamant stone, and only the Most High can break in pieces that soil and make it ready for the good seed.

Yet I urge you, examine your own heart. You long for this man to be altered so that you may proceed happily. Is it possible that your desire for the union is muzzling your discernment? The question is not merely whether he recites a creed, but whether he is a new creature in Christ Jesus, with the Law so written in his heart that every pulse beats for holiness. If he truly loves the Lord, his errors will yield to the Spirit’s teaching; but if they are clung to despite clear light, then you stand at a crossroads. The best place to find a prayer is in the heart, and I would have you go and look there. Cry to God until you find it there, a prayer that pleads, "Not my will, but Yours be done. If this man be not Yours, break the bond, though it cost me bitter anguish." The Lord who remembers the love of our espousals to Himself will not desert you in such a trial. He will either make the crooked straight or give you grace to walk away, for He has joy in you and will not see you ruined.

Pray, then, with intensity, not merely that his mind be changed on certain points, but that his heart be pierced by a discovery of the boundless love of God in Christ Jesus, a discovery that melts and remolds the whole man. And until you see in him the genuine fruits of a heart in which God dwells, do not pledge a fidelity that belongs only to one who is wholly the Lord’s. Let the love of Christ constrain you to confess that you belong wholly to Him, with all you are and all you have; and if a courtship cannot be lifted up into that pure air, it will be but a weight to drag you down. Take this to the Lord, the patient Listener who hears the heart’s own way of speaking. He will clear your path.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your heart is deeply troubled, and I see you are clinging to a hope that love will overcome the division caused by false beliefs. But listen carefully: the prophets warned that enemies often sit at our own table, and a man’s foes can be those of his own household. You are in a courtship, which is a path toward the lifelong covenant of marriage. How can two walk together unless they are agreed on the very foundation? You say he professes faith yet holds wrong beliefs, and you trace this to past hurts. But understand, the defilement that truly corrupts a person does not enter from outside, but rises from within the heart. Wrong beliefs are not mere bruises to be soothed; they are poison in the wellspring of his soul. And you are already dreading the moment you must speak truth about those books, because it has been a point of strife before. This dread itself is a warning. A relationship built on avoiding the truth is a house on sand.

You ask prayer that God would change his mind. But God will not force the will of a man who clings to his own wisdom. The world’s wisdom, which seems plausible and often masks itself as healing from hurt, is in reality foolishness before God. Those who rely on human reasoning, even to cope with pain, end up changing the glory of the immortal God into something low and distorted. Do not be deceived: if he holds to teachings that corrupt the gospel, he is building with wood, hay, and stubble, no matter how sincere he appears. You love him, and that is not a small thing, but true love seeks the other’s eternal good above your own desires. What does it profit a man if he gains a loving wife but loses his own soul? And what do you gain if you yoke yourself to someone who may never embrace the sound doctrine that alone saves?

The virtuous woman described in Scripture has a heart that is the acquaintaince of Scripture and the keeper of sound doctrine. Her mouth speaks wisdom. You are right to be troubled, and you must not shrink from that holy unease. Do not think that his past hurts excuse error. The hardness of heart that led Moses to grant concessions was still hardness of heart, and Christ calls all men to repent fully. If you speak the truth to him, do so with gentleness and tears, but speak it plainly. If he rejects it again, you must consider whether you are chasing a shadow. God’s elect are not beyond the reach of human accusation, but God Himself defends them; yet they prove their election by clinging to truth. Affliction may batter the soul, but the inner man of faith remains unmoved, while a soul built on sand collapses.

Do not merely pray that God change his mind to suit your desire. Pray that God open his eyes to the true wisdom that is hidden from the rulers of this age, the mystery of Christ crucified. And pray that God grant you the fortitude to hold fast to that mystery, even if it costs you this love. For the wisdom that comes from above is first pure, then peaceable. You cannot skip purity to reach a false peace. Lay this matter before the Lord, but examine your own heart too: is it set on God’s glory or on the comfort of a desired companion? The mystery of His will has made known to us the secrets of His heart, that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ alone, not by weaving together shards of broken human philosophies. Hold to that, and let no affection pull you from it.