Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing so openly and for letting us pray with you. I am grateful to hear that you know Jesus is with you, and that you have turned to Him, repented and asked for His salvation. That is the most important thing you have written, and I want to speak to that first, and then to the painful situation you are facing at home.
Scripture teaches that God has made only one provision for the forgiveness of sin, and that is through His Son Jesus Christ. When you put your faith in Jesus, His death and resurrection becomes the complete provision for your guilt. The Holy Spirit bears witness to your heart that this is true. No person has the authority to tell you that you will be dragged to hell if you belong to Jesus. If you are in Christ, there is no condemnation for you. Romans says there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. A person who uses the name of God to threaten and punish you is misusing God’s name, and you do not need to receive that condemnation. If you have trusted Jesus, you are forgiven and kept by Him, not by another person’s words.
What you describe about words being used as a weapon, being blamed for everything, being told your body is not your own, being hurt and then told you caused it, is not the pattern of love that God intends for a home. God values you and He values your children deeply. To deliberately hurt or demean a child or a vulnerable person is grievous to Him, and to cheapen the value of life in a home is never His will. Love does not coerce or force itself on another. Even within marriage, where Scripture says husband and wife belong to one another, that belonging is mutual, willing and loving, never forced or cruel. Coercion is not love, and it is not God’s design for intimacy. You are not to blame for another person’s cold or cruel choices.
You mentioned wondering if God put this person on your path and whether you deserve this. God’s ideal for a man and a woman is a lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, with faithfulness, kindness, and self giving love, and with sexual intimacy and sharing a home belonging within that covenant. Living together outside of that covenant is not God’s best, and God does not want a relationship marked by fear, control and harm. In the law, God allowed a provision for divorce because of the hardness of human hearts. That was not His original or highest desire, but He acknowledged that when hearts become hard and refuse His way, people may not be able to live out His ideal. That provision shows that God understands hardness of heart and does not call you to remain under abuse to prove your spirituality. Failure in this area, or needing to step away to be safe, is not an unpardonable sin. God’s desire is for holiness, peace and safety, not for you or your children to be trapped in harm.
You also shared very practical burdens, the gas turned off, phones turned off, needing a job to provide for your children, and feeling peace only when you are away from him. God cares about those practical needs. In the New Testament, when the believers in Jerusalem were suffering great financial hardship, Paul encouraged other churches to share generously and practically, even paying bills and meeting urgent needs out of love, not for show. That is still how God often provides, through His people coming alongside with tangible help. The fact that you have peace when you are apart and feel you cannot be yourself when he is home is important to pay attention to. God made provision in His law for cleansing even when a condition looked incurable, leaving room for Himself to work and to heal when no one else could. In the same way, even when a situation feels incurable to you, we can give God room to work. He can make a way where you see no way, and He often does it step by step.
Please do not walk through this alone. Because there are children in the home and basic needs are not being met and you describe coercion and being hurt, I urge you to reach out for safe, personal help right away. Talk with a trusted pastor or mature believer who holds to Scripture, a safe family member, and if you are ever in danger, contact local authorities or a trusted help service for abuse. If you have a local church, let them know about the gas, the phones and the need for work, so they can pray and also help you find practical resources, job assistance and safe housing options if needed. Keep a record of what is happening and make a safety plan for you and your children.
You are not selfish for wanting to express yourself in healthy ways and for wanting peace in your home. You are not responsible for another person’s choices to escalate or to be cold hearted.
I am praying for you now, that God will confirm to your heart the assurance of your salvation in Jesus, that you will know you are fully forgiven and secure in Him, that He will protect you and your children, provide for your daily needs, open a door for honest work, restore your phone and heat, give you wisdom for every next step, surround you with safe and godly support, and lead you into His peace and healing. May the Lord give you clarity to see what is loving and true, courage to set boundaries that protect you and your children, and deep confidence that Jesus is with you and will not abandon you.
If you can, please continue to let a safe person near you know how you are doing, so you are not carrying this alone.
Scripture teaches that God has made only one provision for the forgiveness of sin, and that is through His Son Jesus Christ. When you put your faith in Jesus, His death and resurrection becomes the complete provision for your guilt. The Holy Spirit bears witness to your heart that this is true. No person has the authority to tell you that you will be dragged to hell if you belong to Jesus. If you are in Christ, there is no condemnation for you. Romans says there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. A person who uses the name of God to threaten and punish you is misusing God’s name, and you do not need to receive that condemnation. If you have trusted Jesus, you are forgiven and kept by Him, not by another person’s words.
What you describe about words being used as a weapon, being blamed for everything, being told your body is not your own, being hurt and then told you caused it, is not the pattern of love that God intends for a home. God values you and He values your children deeply. To deliberately hurt or demean a child or a vulnerable person is grievous to Him, and to cheapen the value of life in a home is never His will. Love does not coerce or force itself on another. Even within marriage, where Scripture says husband and wife belong to one another, that belonging is mutual, willing and loving, never forced or cruel. Coercion is not love, and it is not God’s design for intimacy. You are not to blame for another person’s cold or cruel choices.
You mentioned wondering if God put this person on your path and whether you deserve this. God’s ideal for a man and a woman is a lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, with faithfulness, kindness, and self giving love, and with sexual intimacy and sharing a home belonging within that covenant. Living together outside of that covenant is not God’s best, and God does not want a relationship marked by fear, control and harm. In the law, God allowed a provision for divorce because of the hardness of human hearts. That was not His original or highest desire, but He acknowledged that when hearts become hard and refuse His way, people may not be able to live out His ideal. That provision shows that God understands hardness of heart and does not call you to remain under abuse to prove your spirituality. Failure in this area, or needing to step away to be safe, is not an unpardonable sin. God’s desire is for holiness, peace and safety, not for you or your children to be trapped in harm.
You also shared very practical burdens, the gas turned off, phones turned off, needing a job to provide for your children, and feeling peace only when you are away from him. God cares about those practical needs. In the New Testament, when the believers in Jerusalem were suffering great financial hardship, Paul encouraged other churches to share generously and practically, even paying bills and meeting urgent needs out of love, not for show. That is still how God often provides, through His people coming alongside with tangible help. The fact that you have peace when you are apart and feel you cannot be yourself when he is home is important to pay attention to. God made provision in His law for cleansing even when a condition looked incurable, leaving room for Himself to work and to heal when no one else could. In the same way, even when a situation feels incurable to you, we can give God room to work. He can make a way where you see no way, and He often does it step by step.
Please do not walk through this alone. Because there are children in the home and basic needs are not being met and you describe coercion and being hurt, I urge you to reach out for safe, personal help right away. Talk with a trusted pastor or mature believer who holds to Scripture, a safe family member, and if you are ever in danger, contact local authorities or a trusted help service for abuse. If you have a local church, let them know about the gas, the phones and the need for work, so they can pray and also help you find practical resources, job assistance and safe housing options if needed. Keep a record of what is happening and make a safety plan for you and your children.
You are not selfish for wanting to express yourself in healthy ways and for wanting peace in your home. You are not responsible for another person’s choices to escalate or to be cold hearted.
I am praying for you now, that God will confirm to your heart the assurance of your salvation in Jesus, that you will know you are fully forgiven and secure in Him, that He will protect you and your children, provide for your daily needs, open a door for honest work, restore your phone and heat, give you wisdom for every next step, surround you with safe and godly support, and lead you into His peace and healing. May the Lord give you clarity to see what is loving and true, courage to set boundaries that protect you and your children, and deep confidence that Jesus is with you and will not abandon you.
If you can, please continue to let a safe person near you know how you are doing, so you are not carrying this alone.
