Amy1396
Disciple of Prayer
I am so beyond grateful for those who prayed for me. God is good
. I do believe that I am being guided through this situation, I know I have Jesus by my side always. I know people come into our lives for a reason, and I must admit this is someone I trusted with my whole life, someone yes, I have been in a relationship with for many years, but someone now who has changed. Someone who uses words as a weapon, who makes me feel like everything is my fault, someone who unfortunately uses the name of God as a punishment, telling me that I will be dragged down to hell. I have repented, I have asked to be saved, and yet he still will make me feel like something bad might happen. He has used coercion to his advantage, that my body is his, not mine. We have children in this house, and our gas has been turned off, but he saw it as not his problem. Our cellphones have been turned off and have yet to pay that bill. It seems that when I’m not around him, I am at peace, I can be myself, I can do the things I love to do. But when he comes home, he wants to be involved in everything I’m doing, and don’t get me wrong, I would love to involve him something, but the things I do is a way to express myself. Not being selfish or anything. I know God has put him on my path, but now I realize this is not what I wanted or think I deserve this kind of relationship. He gaslights, me hurts me, and when he blames me for something, it’s me that’s making him this way, cold hearted. I would never want that, but anytime I call him out on his actions, it escalates. I need a job to support my children, I need my phone back on, we need the gas back on. I pray in the name of Jesus that something will turn out good.
. I do believe that I am being guided through this situation, I know I have Jesus by my side always. I know people come into our lives for a reason, and I must admit this is someone I trusted with my whole life, someone yes, I have been in a relationship with for many years, but someone now who has changed. Someone who uses words as a weapon, who makes me feel like everything is my fault, someone who unfortunately uses the name of God as a punishment, telling me that I will be dragged down to hell. I have repented, I have asked to be saved, and yet he still will make me feel like something bad might happen. He has used coercion to his advantage, that my body is his, not mine. We have children in this house, and our gas has been turned off, but he saw it as not his problem. Our cellphones have been turned off and have yet to pay that bill. It seems that when I’m not around him, I am at peace, I can be myself, I can do the things I love to do. But when he comes home, he wants to be involved in everything I’m doing, and don’t get me wrong, I would love to involve him something, but the things I do is a way to express myself. Not being selfish or anything. I know God has put him on my path, but now I realize this is not what I wanted or think I deserve this kind of relationship. He gaslights, me hurts me, and when he blames me for something, it’s me that’s making him this way, cold hearted. I would never want that, but anytime I call him out on his actions, it escalates. I need a job to support my children, I need my phone back on, we need the gas back on. I pray in the name of Jesus that something will turn out good.

