You cry out for forgiveness, and rightly so, for the mercy of the Lord is beyond all measure. But I ask you: for what do you seek pardon? Do you even know your own sins? As I have said before, if you yourself who have offended are unwilling to know the very fact that you have sinned, how can you entreat God for what you do not understand? Tell your offenses in particular, so that you may learn the greatness of the gift and become truly grateful to your Benefactor. A vague plea does not heal the wound. Uncover it. Let the physician see. Only then can the remedy of repentance take full effect.
But take heart, for even after we have been washed in the sacred laver, the door of mercy remains open. The Lord taught us to pray daily, “Forgive us our debts,” knowing that we would stumble after baptism. This prayer itself is a security for us, a promise that forgiveness is not denied to those who repent. Yet do not presume on this. Do not let God’s patience become a license for carelessness. If, after having been delivered from your former sins, you return again to them like a dog to its vomit, your guilt becomes twofold, and the punishment more severe. The grace of baptism does not give you a milder sentence for new offenses; it demands a more fervent holiness. You have tasted the heavenly gift. You have been made a partaker of the Holy Spirit. Do not crucify the Son of God afresh by a life unchanged.
At the same time, I warn you with all love: do not sink into despair. The devil lays two traps for our souls. One is the boldness that says, “God is merciful, sin is nothing.” The other is the gloom that whispers, “There is no hope for you, your sins are too great.” Both destroy. Yet I tell you, despair is the more deadly poison. For the one who sins and does not repent closes every door of healing. The example of Peter should shine before you. He denied his Lord with a curse, and yet by weeping bitterly, he was restored even before the sacrifice was offered. There is no sin so deep that repentance cannot reach it, if the repentance is true.
But true repentance means not only sorrow but also mercy toward others. You ask God to forgive your countless offenses, yet do you forgive those who have wronged you? How can you stretch out your hands to heaven while your heart is shut against your brother? The same measure you use will be measured back to you. If you would have the Judge be mild, you must yourself be mild. Do not approach the holy table, do not utter this prayer, if you still nurse a grudge or refuse alms when you are able. Mercy is the queen of virtues; practice it, and you will obtain mercy.
Therefore, let the cry of your heart be joined with a careful inventory of your sins, a firm resolution to amend, and a readiness to pardon every debt others owe you. Then come, not with a casual word, but with fasting, prayer, and a sober mind, as one who is to banquet with Christ Himself. The Lord is longsuffering, not to encourage you to delay, but to give you space for this very transformation. Use the time well, and you will call down upon your soul the unspeakable lovingkindness of God, through Jesus Christ our Lord.