Marriage

[This post was redacted due to privacy concerns]

 

One of the most common questions that we get at Marriage Helper is, “What can I do to show my spouse I’ve changed?”

People ask us this question because they’re so desperately wanting to do something to change the trajectory of their marriage and bring their spouse back. There are so many things that go into pulling a marriage back together. We wish we had a magic answer, a simple pill, a quick sentence, or a quick solution to show your spouse you’ve changed.

That isn’t how it works. In...

 

If you believe your husband doesn’t love you anymore, we understand how painful it must feel. After all, you married them because they were the love of your life, so where did the marriage go wrong? The first thing you shouldn’t do is blame yourself. Marriage takes work, and sometimes people drift apart. This is normal, but not hopeless. There are ways to fall in love again if you believe your marriage feels different. Understanding where your relationship took turns is the first step to...

 

Is your husband pulling away from you, and you don’t know why? In this article, we’ll help you understand why men pull away, what you are probably doing that is making it worse, and what you need to do to pull them back to you.

The First Step Is Self-Reflection​

The first thing to consider when you are analyzing why your husband is pulling away is this: Was there something that happened right around the time that your husband started pulling away? Typically, you’re going to see a...

 

People often ask if there is a method for establishing boundaries about negative or harmful behavior from a spouse.

Yes, there is.

One of the most effective is to write a contract that clearly identifies the unacceptable behavior and firmly establishes consequences if that behavior occurs.

As simple as that sounds, we’ve discovered that many people have a number of questions about the why’s, how’s, what’s, who’s, and more.

I’ve asked my friend and co-teacher at our workshop for marriages...

 

Several crucial questions have come in about how to deal with spouses doing destructive things. In this program, we will deal with questions such as:

What do I do if my spouse keeps lying? Are all lies the same? Do I react to all of them the same way? Should I set traps to catch him / her in the lies?

How do I know s/he’s telling the truth now? S/he claims that all lies are over but I have my doubts.

What do I do if my cheating spouse is lying to my kids about what’s going on with us? Do...

 

There may come a time, if it hasn’t already, when you want to set deadlines for your spouse. But when and how might you give that “deadline” to a reluctant spouse?

You may be thinking that setting that deadline constitutes as a boundary, when in actuality, it is setting criteria for your spouse. There is a big difference between the two though they do share similarities.

Boundaries VS. Criteria​

If you are wanting to set a deadline, what you are considering is setting a criteria...

 

If you’re going through a separation or a divorce, your spouse may have stopped wanting to communicate with you. In this situation, people typically give one of two suggestions. They’ll tell you to either stop talking and ignore them, or that you should bombard them with texts, calls, and emails. Both these options could be seen as manipulative and likely the wrong thing to do. At Marriage Helper, we’ve developed a method called SMART contact that we built just for this situation.

Stop...​

 

While marriage might be between two people, many other people can influence it. For example, parents, siblings, and even distant relatives can positively and negatively affect your marriage. They might think their intentions are pure for interfering, but their opinions are usually biased because they love you. And so, as a way to try and protect, they may say negative things about your spouse to try and get you to make a different decision. Or, even if you’re married, they may try and get...

 

Falling in love starts at the beginning of one path. We call it the LovePath. And there’s actually a process that happens when people fall in love.

It begins with attraction, but it’s not what you think. There are actually four parts to attraction, and all of them combined lead to how attractive you are to others. This is not only crucial in saving your marriage – but it’s crucial in all relationships.

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