Marriage

SMART Contact is Marriage Helper's five-step method for talking to a spouse in crisis without giving them a reason to leave. Here is how it works.

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I wasn’t trying to become a Christian sex author and speaker. But as I explain in My Story:

God has had His hand on my sex life. I know where I’d be without Him. While some people’s faith testimonies are easily proclaimed in public, my biggest witness is not. How do I admit in the middle of a Bible class that my Amazing Grace moment should be sung “that saved a wench like me”?

You see, I had a premarital promiscuous past, and that baggage stuck with me for a long time. But...

 

Today, I’m doing something different. I’ve been reading through old journals, came across one with a poem I wrote in 1998, and decided to share it with y’all!

Before You Read It…​

A bit of background. I grew up with a domineering father and a conflict-avoidant mother who catered to him. I concluded early on that I didn’t want that kind of relationship! I wanted to be a strong woman who didn’t need a man. In fact, I didn’t even want a man. I simply wouldn’t get married.

While in...

 

Let’s Talk About Husbands’ Orgasms

Have you heard of the orgasm gap? It refers to the difference in how often men versus women achieve orgasm.

Specifically, women don’t reach climax as often as men do. One 2018 study put it at 95% to 65%, while a more recent study suggested that lifetime orgasm rates ranged from 70% to 85% for men and 46% to 58% for women.” Regardless, that’s a 24–30% difference between men and women reaching the pinnacle of pleasure.

I, and many others, have spilled a...

 

Sometimes we want to give our sex intimacy in marriage a boost, but we don’t quite know how to get things going. As women, we can have an even harder time initiating sex, because it feels so … awkward.

But there are so many ways to let your husband know you want to make love—tonight. And I’ve put together a list of 40!

Before I begin, I want to give a caveat to the higher...

 

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR FREE MARRIAGE ENCOURAGEMENT PODCAST!

You’re always being cultivated by something. The algorithm. The news cycle. Your workplace. Your phone. So the real question isn’t whether you’re being shaped. It’s who’s holding the shovel.

We discussed this question with ###, ### of ### in ### and author of the new book Cultivate: How God Grows the Fruit of the Spirit Within Us. He and his wife ### joined me for a conversation on the podcast this week and we...

 

Dear Lord,

Please help us to remain unveiled before You, humble and transparent in the way we share our hearts with You. Thank You also for the way transparency in marriage can be a catalyst for incredible intimacy. Thank You for the courage to open up to one another, the courage to admit when we are struggling with self-doubt, or the boldness to say we feel weak in our faith. May we never hold back from sharing our hearts with one another.

In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

This prayer is...

 

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the way You gently, yet firmly lead us through Scripture to understand the truth about what love is. Thank You for the way Your Word defines love, making it clear exactly how we should love one another. We don’t always catch on right away or quickly implementing the truth in our lives—we are creatures of habit—but we are eager to grow, knowing it takes time and conditioning. Let Your truth captivate us and change us. Lord, will You chisel away our selfish ways and...

 

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR FREE MARRIAGE ENCOURAGEMENT PODCAST!

We have been walking through Marriage After God together on the podcast — 29 weeks of it — and this episode focused on what it actually means to be unveiled. Not just forgiven. Unveiled. Known. No longer hiding.

Because here’s the truth — you can’t walk in victory if you’re still hiding. And a lot of us are. We carry shame, we manage what our spouse sees, we wait for a “better time” to say the hard thing out loud...

 

Dear Lord,

Shape our minds to dwell deeply on what we are grateful for about You and what we appreciate in our marriage. Lord, will You develop in us an insatiable desire to tell one another all that we are thankful for in our relationship? Our hearts benefit from hearing the reasons we appreciate marriage, and we know it will bring You glory!

In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

This prayer is adapted from The Marriage Gift: 365 Prayers For My Marriage Devotional

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