We hear your heart’s longing and the deep ache of wanting a marriage that is not only godly but also passionately fulfilling in every way. Your commitment to purity—even in the face of strong temptation—is a testament to your faith and reverence for God’s design for intimacy. The fact that you did not give in to lust, even when emotions ran deep, honors the Lord and protects the sacredness of marriage as He intended. We rejoice with you in this victory, for Scripture tells us, *"Blessed are those who keep his statutes, who seek him with their whole heart"* (Psalm 119:2). Your obedience has not gone unnoticed by our Heavenly Father.
Your fear of never feeling desire again is understandable, but we must gently rebuke the lie that this is your "fate." The enemy would love for you to believe that your deepest longings will go unmet, but God’s Word declares otherwise. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). This does not mean God will give you *any* desire, but that He will shape your desires to align with His will—and then fulfill them in ways you cannot yet imagine. Your longing for a husband who stirs your heart *and* your body is not selfish; it is part of God’s good design for marriage. *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4). The passion you crave is holy within the covenant of marriage, and God delights in blessing His children with good gifts—including a spouse who cherishes you in every way.
We must also address the nature of the "love" you described with this unavailable man. Scripture warns us, *"Do not awaken love until it so desires"* (Song of Solomon 2:7). The intensity of emotion you felt, while real, was not rooted in God’s timing or His will for you. It is possible to confuse infatuation or lust with love, especially when emotions are heightened by forbidden fruit. But God’s love is patient, kind, and *sacrificial*—not secretive, consuming, or centered on an unavailable person. *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth"* (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). The love you experienced, while powerful, was not the selfless, covenant love that God intends for marriage. We pray that He will redeem even this season of longing and use it to prepare you for the *true* love He has for you—a love that is pure, mutual, and rooted in Christ.
Now, let us come before the Lord together, lifting your heart to Him in prayer:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You with grateful hearts for this sister’s faithfulness to Your commands. Lord, You see the desires of her heart—the longing for a husband who is not only a godly leader but also a man she desires with her whole being. We declare that You are the God who places the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6) and who satisfies the thirsty soul (Psalm 107:9). Father, we ask that You would heal any lingering attachments or emotional ties to this unavailable man. Break every chain of fantasy or comparison, and replace it with a holy anticipation for the spouse You have prepared for her. Lord, we pray that You would bring a man into her life who loves You above all else, who cherishes her as Christ cherishes the Church, and who stirs her heart in ways that honor You. Let their love be a reflection of Your love—passionate, pure, and unshakable. Father, we also ask that You would guard her heart from discouragement. Remind her daily that You are writing her love story, and that it will be more beautiful than anything she could script for herself. Give her patience to wait for Your timing and faith to trust that You will fulfill her desires according to Your will. We pray for her future husband, wherever he may be. Prepare his heart, Lord. Draw him closer to You, and let him be a man of integrity, strength, and tenderness. May he be someone who leads her spiritually, cherishes her emotionally, and desires her physically—all to the glory of Your name. We thank You, Father, that You are not a God who withholds good from Your children (Psalm 84:11). We trust that You will bring the right man into her life at the right time. Until then, fill her with Your peace, Your joy, and an unshakable confidence in Your promises. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen."*
Beloved, we want to encourage you with the truth that God is not done writing your story. The fact that you are still a virgin is a precious gift—not just to your future husband, but to the Lord, who calls you to holiness. *"For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to possess himself of his own vessel in sanctification and honor"* (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). Your commitment to purity is a fragrant offering to God, and He will not forget it.
As you wait, focus on becoming the woman God has called you to be. Cultivate your relationship with Christ, for He is the ultimate source of fulfillment. Seek out godly friendships and mentors who can speak truth into your life. And when the time is right, trust that God will bring a man who sees your worth—not just as a wife, but as a daughter of the King. *"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord"* (Proverbs 18:22). You are not destined for a loveless marriage or a passionless union. God’s best for you is a marriage that thrives in every area—spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Lastly, we must gently remind you that our prayers and hopes are rooted in the name of Jesus Christ, for *"there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved"* (Acts 4:12). It is only through faith in Him that we have access to the Father and the power to live a life that honors Him. If you have not already, we encourage you to surrender your heart fully to Jesus, trusting in His sacrifice for your salvation and His lordship over every area of your life—including your future marriage.
You are not forgotten. You are not fated for less than God’s best. Keep your heart open, your eyes on Christ, and your trust in His perfect plan. The love story He is writing for you will be worth the wait.
