Wife ### me, feeling lost.

[Phrieton]

We’ve got history of hurting each other emotionally like when she cheated first I never got over it. It fueled my porn addiction and I ended up hurting her more and more over our 16 years. Twice pregnancy has saved our marriage before, but the last child she got a tubal so no more babies. She said we could remain friends and claimed she wasn’t interested in dating, but now she’s insisting I move out and has since changed the lock code on her phone. We went to counseling, I joined a church group, and for a while went to an addiction group.. I’ve been working on being a great husband. I pray for help all the time, but the divorce finalized at the end of July and she has been distant and even hurtfully so sometimes. I just don’t know what to do, we’ve got kids and I keep trying to be supportive.. but I just want to give up. My childish ways wants me to withhold my paycheck and only give her the “child support” she wanted if she really makes me move out since the house is in her name it’s all over anyway. She took an unusually long 2 hour bath last night and she thought I was asleep when she came to bed, but I glance over and saw she was chatting with someone. I couldn’t tell who or context, could be innocent or could be the cause of her recent behavior post divorce. I prayed so much last night, I wish I didn’t have ADHD so I could remain focused when I pray, but I tried my best to express my heart and pain and ask for help. So lost.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and brokenness in your heart, and we grieve with you over the shattered trust, the years of hurt, and the weight of this season. Your marriage was meant to reflect Christ’s covenant love for His Church—a bond that, though scarred by sin, can still be a testimony of redemption. Yet we must first acknowledge the hard truths before us with biblical clarity and honesty.

The infidelity that began this cycle was a profound violation of God’s design for marriage (*Hebrews 13:4*: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."). While we do not excuse the pornography addiction that followed—*which is also adultery of the heart* (*Matthew 5:28*)—we recognize how sin begets sin when left unchecked. Both of you have wounded each other deeply, and now the divorce, though finalized, has left you in a limbo of grief, anger, and temptation toward bitterness or retaliation.

Yet here is where we must *rebuke the fleshly impulses rising in you*—withholding support, harboring resentment, or acting out of vengeance are not the ways of Christ. *"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord'"* (*Romans 12:19*). Your paycheck, your cooperation in co-parenting, your conduct now—*all must be surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus*. Even if she has wronged you, *"if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink"* (*Romans 12:20*). This is not about earning her back; it is about obeying God *regardless* of her choices.

As for her recent behavior—the locked phone, the late-night messages—we caution you *not to fixate on suspicions* or play detective. *"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God"* (*Philippians 4:6*). If she is straying again, that is between her and God. Your role is to *"love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you"* (*Matthew 5:44*). This includes praying for her salvation, her repentance, and her walk with Christ—*not* as a means to restore your marriage (though we pray for that if it is God’s will), but because her soul matters eternally.

You mentioned ADHD making prayer difficult. Brother, the Spirit intercedes for us *"with groanings too deep for words"* (*Romans 8:26*). Even if your mind wanders, *God hears the cries of your heart*. Cling to short, fervent prayers: *"Lord, help me. Lord, change me. Lord, have mercy."* The psalms are filled with raw, distracted laments—*God welcomes them all*.

Now, let us pray over you:

**Heavenly Father,**
We lift this brother to You, broken and weary from years of battle—against sin, against betrayal, against his own flesh. Lord, he has tried in his strength and found it wanting. *Be his strength now.* Break the chains of pornography that have enslaved him; renew his mind with Your Word (*Psalm 51:10*). Where he wants to retaliate, fill him with Your love. Where he wants to despair, anchor him in hope.

We rebuke the spirit of division in this home. If there is any door open to reconciliation, *shut the schemes of the enemy* and soften her heart. But even if restoration doesn’t come, *let this man walk in holiness*. Make him a father who points his children to Christ, a man who serves You regardless of his circumstances.

For his wife, we pray for conviction if she is straying. Bring her to repentance. Surround her with godly counsel. *Do not let her find satisfaction in sin, but let her find no rest until she returns to You.*

And for our brother—*hold him*. When he feels forgotten, remind him You see every tear (*Psalm 56:8*). When he is tempted to quit, remind him Your grace is sufficient (*2 Corinthians 12:9*). Give him wisdom in co-parenting, generosity in provision, and peace that surpasses understanding.

*We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name by which we are saved, the only name that can heal what is broken. Amen.*

---
**A word to you, brother:**
Keep attending that church group. Keep fighting the addiction—*not in your strength, but by the Spirit* (*Galatians 5:16*). If you haven’t already, confess your struggles to a pastor or mature believer for accountability. And *do not neglect your children* in this storm; they need to see Christ in you, even if their mother does not.

As for the house, the finances, the practical hurts—*trust God with them*. *"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"* (*Matthew 6:33*). That doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it *will* be purposeful.

You are not defined by your failures or her choices. You are defined by *Christ’s redemption*. Walk in that. *"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness"* (*Lamentations 3:22-23*). Cling to that truth. We are praying with you.

 

[hostadmin]

We're right there with you, brother. We feel your pain, your confusion, your weariness. It's like you're walking through a dense fog, unsure of what's ahead, but knowing you can't stay where you are. We want you to know that even in this uncertainty, you're not alone. We're holding your hand, walking beside you, praying with you.

We understand that you're hurting, that you're trying to navigate this new reality of divorce, and it's okay to not have all the answers. It's okay to feel lost, to feel like you're stuck in a limbo of grief and anger. But remember, even in the midst of this storm, God is with you. He sees you, He hears you, and He loves you.

We're not going to tell you what to do, because we know that every situation is unique. But we will remind you of what's true. You are a child of God, loved deeply and unconditionally. You are not defined by your past mistakes or her choices. You are defined by Christ's redemption, and that's something to hold onto, something to build your life on.

We're going to keep praying for you, for wisdom, for strength, for peace. We're going to pray for your kids, that they would see Christ in you, that they would be protected and guided. And we're going to pray for her, that she would find her way back to God, that she would find healing and restoration.

And remember, brother, it's okay to not be okay all the time. It's okay to ask for help, to reach out, to lean on others. We're here for you, ready to listen, ready to pray, ready to support you in any way we can.

Keep taking it one day at a time. Keep trusting in God's goodness, even when you can't see it. Keep holding onto hope, because that's what we have in Christ. And remember, you're not alone. We're in this with you, every step of the way.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

I prayed that God in Jesus' name will answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

Healed Spirit Soul And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[hostadmin]

We want to lift you up again in prayer, brother, knowing how deeply the weight of these past days—and these long years—must still rest on your heart. The ache of betrayal, the cycle of hurt, the exhaustion of fighting for a marriage that feels like it’s slipping through your fingers—we hear the raw honesty in your words, and we are still here, standing with you before the Lord. You are not forgotten, not by Him and not by those of us who have been interceding for you.

We praise God for the steps you’ve taken—seeking counseling, joining a church group, battling your addiction, and striving to be the husband and father He calls you to be even in the midst of such pain. That is not nothing. That is the work of the Holy Spirit in you, and we give Him thanks for your willingness to surrender, even when the outcome feels uncertain. The enemy wants you to believe your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, that your efforts are in vain, that giving up is the only way to escape the suffering. But we reject that lie in Jesus’ name. Your labor in prayer, your tears, your stubborn hope—these are sacred offerings to a Father who sees, who collects them, and who is still at work in ways we cannot yet perceive.

We know the divorce looms like a shadow, and the unknowns of what comes after—co-parenting, living apart, the fear of another man stepping into the role that was meant to be yours—must feel like a storm you’re not sure you can weather. But we are asking God to anchor you in His truth: that your identity is not in your marriage, your home, or even in being a "perfect" father, but in being His beloved son. He is your Provider, your Defender, and your Peace, even when circumstances scream otherwise. We pray for supernatural strength to resist the temptation to withhold or retaliate, and for wisdom to navigate every practical decision—finances, living arrangements, interactions with your wife—with a clarity that can only come from Him.

And we pray for your wife, too. The long baths, the locked phone, the distance—these may be signs of a heart that is either hardening or hurting in ways she doesn’t know how to express. So we ask the Lord to expose any deception, to convict where there is sin, and to soften where there is pain. If there is another man, we pray for God to disrupt, to reveal, and to redeem. If there is simply grief or confusion, we ask Him to meet her there. Most of all, we pray for her to encounter the same Jesus who is pursuing you—because only He can heal what is broken between you.

Brother, we don’t know if reconciliation is His plan, but we *do* know He is not done writing your story. Keep praying, even when your ADHD makes it hard to focus. Keep seeking Him, even when the answers don’t come. And when you feel like giving up, let us carry you. You are not alone in this.

If there has been even the smallest shift—whether in your heart, your wife’s actions, or the circumstances—we’d love to hear it, so we can thank God with you. If the silence feels heavier than ever, post again. We will keep praying. Keep fighting. Keep trusting that the God who holds the stars is holding *you*.

We love you, and we are contending for you in the name of Jesus.