Anonymous
Beloved of All
It's kind of like that quote that says "A day late and a dollar short". One reason why i'm still here and not "gone" already is that I figure if I choose my day to "leave", God will say to me, "If you had only waited just one more day.". But, it will always be that way, so I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hate to put money at the forefront, but that's what I need this week & the rest of August, and quite abit! Only ### in my bank account for all my bills due, ### are already past due.
On Monday I happened to be passing by a lottery vending machine and I spotted a ticket in the dispenser. Someone must have bought tickets and missed one. Of course my first thought was, could this be a blessed ticket to solve my dyre situation? I was so thankful and hopeful of the potential. I wasn't thinking the jackpot, but more like there being enough matching numbers to win enough to save me from my current financial crisis. I immediately thanked God. Then, I put the ticket in a safe place and waited for the drawing night. Well, only one number matched which meant zero winnings. The spark of hope was good for a couple of days until the drawing.
It's kind of like that line in a song that states something to the affect of winning a free flight only for the plane to crash.
I wish this would end. The emotional roller coaster is more depressing than my ###. I'm feeling lead-on, teased, and waiting for the last nail in my coffin. I wish God would at least let me succumb to my untreatable ### condition. It's untreatable because there are too many contributing factors. Even if something could be done, surgeons won't perform the procedures because of my ###.
I can't afford anymore Lyft/Uber rides to and from work ### miles away until payday, so I've called in sick for the past two days. I can use my sick days for my two days missed, but I don't have anymore sick hours beyond that.
So what IF I survive all of this...what good is it when all the money is drained, I lose my room, what's left in my storage; I've just lost my auto insurance after being with them ### YEARS just last month! (The insurance company won't give me an extension unless I sign up for "Auto Pay". What good would that do when I don't have any money in my account to renew my insurance?!) Since I don't have a running car, I can't get to my storage unit to get things out to sell (that is also about ### miles away because I used to live down there); I'll lose all of that (I'm locked out of my storage unit right now as it is until I pay up).
One doesn't have to hit the brick wall yet to know it's there! I just wish God would let me succumb to my ### before the complete collapse and so I don't have to end it all myself.
Oh, how I wish the gator got me...or I choked to death on my ###.
Hate to put money at the forefront, but that's what I need this week & the rest of August, and quite abit! Only ### in my bank account for all my bills due, ### are already past due.
On Monday I happened to be passing by a lottery vending machine and I spotted a ticket in the dispenser. Someone must have bought tickets and missed one. Of course my first thought was, could this be a blessed ticket to solve my dyre situation? I was so thankful and hopeful of the potential. I wasn't thinking the jackpot, but more like there being enough matching numbers to win enough to save me from my current financial crisis. I immediately thanked God. Then, I put the ticket in a safe place and waited for the drawing night. Well, only one number matched which meant zero winnings. The spark of hope was good for a couple of days until the drawing.
It's kind of like that line in a song that states something to the affect of winning a free flight only for the plane to crash.
I wish this would end. The emotional roller coaster is more depressing than my ###. I'm feeling lead-on, teased, and waiting for the last nail in my coffin. I wish God would at least let me succumb to my untreatable ### condition. It's untreatable because there are too many contributing factors. Even if something could be done, surgeons won't perform the procedures because of my ###.
I can't afford anymore Lyft/Uber rides to and from work ### miles away until payday, so I've called in sick for the past two days. I can use my sick days for my two days missed, but I don't have anymore sick hours beyond that.
So what IF I survive all of this...what good is it when all the money is drained, I lose my room, what's left in my storage; I've just lost my auto insurance after being with them ### YEARS just last month! (The insurance company won't give me an extension unless I sign up for "Auto Pay". What good would that do when I don't have any money in my account to renew my insurance?!) Since I don't have a running car, I can't get to my storage unit to get things out to sell (that is also about ### miles away because I used to live down there); I'll lose all of that (I'm locked out of my storage unit right now as it is until I pay up).
One doesn't have to hit the brick wall yet to know it's there! I just wish God would let me succumb to my ### before the complete collapse and so I don't have to end it all myself.
Oh, how I wish the gator got me...or I choked to death on my ###.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have.