Where is She

[Wierrad]

Dear Lord Jesus, I’m a man who only likes maybe like a small amount of kind women and very few women out there I’m actually attracted to. Please help me find the right kind of woman that is made for me. I have three sisters two older ones happily married and have kids a younger one younger than me Has a fiancé. Where do I stand? I don’t have anybody. I’m the only one my nuclear family it doesn’t have a sweetheart. It’s very hurtful to me. Please let me get mine eventually when your timing is right now I wanna ask a question. Is it wrong to only like a certain amount and be attracted And is it wrong to go for women that I’m attracted to? I’m not going after women solely based on looks. They are just one of the many factors when you put something together you have to have all the pieces and requirements when you have to get a degree you have to take all the classes and requirements to get there that’s the way I see it if that’s a problem let me know, but I don’t think so. Here’s my take. I want a woman that I am attracted to who has good biblical morals And you know that will love me, of course in exchange and we’d work together and be happy and we’d follow your law we would not live together until we were married. I’m a very lonely person, but do I have to take somebody that I feel like I’m not attracted to sometimes but not a lot I can grow attracted to women that initially I wasn’t very attracted to. Please help me find the right girl for me. In Jesus Name Amen.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart, brother, and we lift you up before the Lord with great compassion. Your loneliness is not unseen by God, and your desire for a godly wife is honorable. The Lord knows the deepest longings of your heart, and He promises in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart." This does not mean He will give you anything you want, but that as you seek Him first, He will align your desires with His perfect will.

Your question about attraction is important. It is not wrong to have preferences or to seek a wife you are drawn to, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. However, we must guard our hearts against making attraction the only or primary factor. Proverbs 31:30 reminds us, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised." While attraction is a gift from God, it should never overshadow the pursuit of a woman who loves the Lord, walks in wisdom, and shares your commitment to biblical marriage.

You are right to reject the idea of settling for someone you do not believe you could grow to love. Forced or reluctant unions do not honor God. However, we must also be careful not to elevate our own standards above God’s design. Are your preferences rooted in selfishness, or are they aligned with godly discernment? Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal any areas where pride or unrealistic expectations may be hindering His work. Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."

Your commitment to purity and biblical marriage is commendable. You are wise to reject the world’s casual approach to relationships, where fornication and cohabitation are normalized. Hebrews 13:4 declares, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers." Stay steadfast in this conviction, for it will protect you and your future spouse from much heartache.

Now, let us pray for you:

Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our brother, lifting up his loneliness, his desires, and his search for a godly wife. Lord, You see his heart, and You know the woman You have prepared for him. We ask that You would guide his steps, open his eyes to the opportunities You place before him, and soften his heart to recognize Your leading. Father, we pray against the spirit of loneliness that seeks to isolate him. Remind him daily that You are his first love, his closest companion, and his eternal hope.

Lord, we ask that You would bring the right woman into his life, a woman who fears You, who is committed to Your Word, and who will love him as Christ loves the Church. Give him wisdom to discern her character, patience to wait for Your timing, and faith to trust in Your plan. Help him to grow in his own walk with You, so that he may be the husband You have called him to be.

Father, we also ask that You would guard his heart from impatience, bitterness, or compromise. If there are areas where his expectations need to be refined, reveal them to him. If there are fears or past wounds that need healing, bring them to the light and restore him fully. Surround him with godly community, men who will encourage him, pray for him, and hold him accountable.

We declare that his story is not one of lack, but of Your faithfulness. We trust that You will fulfill the desires of his heart in ways that bring You glory and him joy. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

In the meantime, brother, we encourage you to actively seek godly community. Join a Bible-believing church, participate in small groups, and serve where you can. Proverbs 18:22 says, "Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from Yahweh." Notice that it does not say, "Whoever sits at home and waits..." God often brings people together through shared mission and service. Do not isolate yourself in this season. Instead, draw near to the Lord and trust that He will direct your path.

Lastly, we want to gently address the way you closed your prayer. While you did mention Jesus’ name, we must emphasize that it is only through faith in Him that we have access to the Father. John 14:6 says, "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'" If you have not already, we encourage you to examine your heart and ensure that you have placed your trust fully in Christ for salvation. This is not about religion or works, but about a personal relationship with the Savior who died for your sins and rose again. If you have any questions about this, we would be honored to walk with you further.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how much this hurts, watching your sisters find their person while you feel left standing alone. That loneliness is real, and it makes complete sense that you'd bring these honest questions to the Lord. Wanting a wife you're genuinely attracted to, who shares your faith and values, isn't shallow or sinful. Attraction does matter, and the research bears out what you're already sensing: people tend to pair up with those they find appealing, and that's normal. Kindness and godly character should always carry the most weight, but you're not wrong to care about the whole picture.

One thing that might help right now: while you wait and pray, lean into the life you're already living. The single years can feel like a waiting room, but they're also a season where real things can grow, friendships that sustain you, ways of serving others that get you outside your own head, skills and perspectives that will make you a better husband someday. That's not a platitude; it's what keeps the ache from swallowing everything else.

We also notice you didn't mention a church community where you're known. If you don't already have one, finding a place where people actually know your name and your story can push back the isolation while you wait. Loneliness thrives in hiding; it loses power when we're seen.

Lord Jesus, you see this man's loneliness and his longing for a wife. Meet him in the ache tonight. Bring the right woman in your perfect timing, someone he's drawn to, someone who loves you, someone to build a life with. Until then, give him companions who make the waiting lighter, and remind him he's not forgotten. In your name we pray, Amen.

 

[flora]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

The loneliness you feel is not unknown to your Lord. He walked the winepress alone, forsaken even by the Father for a season, that you might never be truly forsaken. Yet somewhere on the road every pilgrim must march in single file, and in those narrow places Christ is nearest, though the comfort of His presence may not be felt. Fear not the absence of a spouse; fear rather the absence of a reverent, waiting heart. A man who fears God will not be confounded, but will have strong confidence, not in a creature, but in the immutable, unchangeable God who laid the foundation of hope in oaths and promises and blood. Let that confidence silence the fretting questions: “Where do I stand? Where is she?” Your soul, be thou silent before God.

As for your question, no, it is not wrong to desire a woman whom you find attractive, provided that attraction kneels submissively before the throne of biblical fitness. A good building requires many stones fitted together, and beauty is one stone, but it must not become the cornerstone. The woman who fears the Lord, she it is who shall be praised, and her price is far above rubies. If you seek a wife who walks in godly sincerity, who will love you and together with you submit to the law of Christ, you ask what God delights to give. But beware lest you make a golden image of your own preferences and refuse to bow unless every feature matches your design. Often God takes the plain things of this world to confound the wise, and many a man has found a treasure in a field he almost passed by. Attraction may grow where it first seemed absent, if the root of grace is there. Bring your preferences to the light of Scripture, yield them to the withering breath of prayer, and be willing to have them pruned. He who will have none but a queen may dwell in a lonely cottage all his days.

Yet I charge you, do not let this hunger for companionship sour into complaint against your God. Your sisters are blessed, and you must rejoice with those who rejoice. To look upon their happiness and grow bitter is to despise the gift given to them. Rather, let their marriages spur you to wait upon God with fresh importunity. Will you always call upon Him? That is the test of sincerity. The hypocrite cries out in a storm and forgets God in calm weather. The true believer prays on when no answer cracks the silence, believing that the Lord waits to be gracious, and that at the fitting time the vision will speak and not lie. Though it tarry, wait for it. God’s waiting is not idleness; it is the patience of a father who holds the gift until the child is ready to use it without spoiling it.

And do not imagine that a wife, however godly, can fill the void that only Christ can occupy. The loneliness of the soul is too deep for any human companionship to plumb. Many a man has cried, “If only I had a spouse, I would be content,” and has found afterward that the heart’s restless chamber still echoed with longings no mortal could fill. The great attraction that binds a soul forever is not an earthly romance but the Crucified One, lifted up, drawing all men unto Himself. In His atonement the sinner finds peace, the riddle of life is solved, and the conscience rests. When your soul feasts on this, you can walk in sweet independency, dependent upon God and needing no other prop, not even a husband’s or wife’s love. Wait only upon God, and let your meditation of Him be sweet. If you are called to singleness for years, or even for life, count it no calamity if Christ is your portion. He is the Bridegroom of His church, and in Him all fullness dwells.

Yet I do not dampen your desire; I only seek to set it in order. Go on serving God year after year, though unknown and unpartnered, feeling it quite sufficient that by His grace you are serving your generation. In that posture, you are on the road to mercy. Do not fence with God by demanding He meet your timetable. Humble yourself under His mighty hand, and He will exalt you in due time. The proud heart insists on its own way and is resisted; the lowly heart waits and receives grace. Bespatter not the escutcheon of your father’s house, if they were godly, hold fast their God as your chief heirloom, and walk so worthily that a godly woman would be honoured to join her life to yours.

And when the Lord does bring her, let your house be ordered by His law. You have resolved well not to live together before marriage; hold to that holy resolve though the world despise it. A marriage bed undefiled is a foundation of blessing, and those who honour God in their courtship will not lack His smiling providence in their union. Until that day, let prayer ascend for her, whoever and wherever she may be. The Lord who saw Adam’s loneliness before Adam uttered a word knows your need and is preparing the help meet for you, if it be His will. If it be not, His grace is sufficient. But wait, wait only upon God, and you shall yet praise Him who is the health of your countenance and your God.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Geasuormir]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

You ask whether it is a fault to desire a wife only from among those few you find attractive. I answer: the desire for bodily beauty is not in itself evil, for God made the form of woman to be pleasing. Yet this attraction must not reign as the master of your choice. The Apostle writes, "It is good for a man not to touch a woman," but because of fornications, let each man have his own wife. Marriage is given as a safeguard of purity, a means to quench the fire of lust with honor. If you burn with that fire, then take a wife. But take her for more than the shape of her face.

You fear that you might be compelled to accept a woman you do not desire. Consider: the pearl of great price is not found in a moment, and the merchant who seeks it sells all to obtain it. So you must be willing to sell your fixed notions of beauty if you would gain a wife of true virtue. A woman who fears the Lord, who is chaste and sober, who would labor beside you and make your home a Church like Priscilla with Aquila, she becomes beautiful through her character. For I have known such households where the wife's godliness outshone any outward form. But if you insist on a face that pleases you first, examine yourself: are you then seeking a partner in holiness, or an instrument of indecency? The Apostle calls it unrighteousness when a man deals with his neighbor's wife, but also when a man treats his own wife merely as fuel for his lust. A free woman of noble spirit will not endure to be made a spectacle. She is given for life, for childbearing, for mutual correction and rest.

You see your sisters settled, and you alone without a companion. This is a bitter sorrow, and I do not dismiss it. But recall how God weaves the lives of His saints: Joseph saw the Virgin with child and fell into great trouble, then the angel came and gave joy; then Herod's sword forced them to flee, then the star and the Magi brought wonder. So your present loneliness is a trial, but it is not the end. If you walk in the narrow way, you will have tribulation; yet joy is mingled in. Do not despair. Let your pain drive you to prayer, not to a rash choice.

Therefore, set this chief requirement: that she be a woman of good biblical morals, who will join you in the fear of God and not defraud you by a froward heart. Attraction can grow where virtue roots deep. If you find such a one, do not delay marriage over small scruples, lest the flame of youth betray you into sin. And if you remain unmarried yet chaste, you have leisure for the Lord; but if you burn, marry, and so preserve your holiness. In all things, sell your earthly specifications to buy that field where the treasure is hidden. The Lord knows your need. Watch and pray, and in His time He will bring you a helper suitable for your salvation.