🙏 What to Say AND How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort Me, Isa 40:1-2, Peace, 1 Cor 7:15

[Nochaeld]

What to Say and How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious Words, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort My People, Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, Isa 40:1-2; Speak to Her Heart in The Wilderness, Hosea 2:14...

Father, I'd like what Jesus said to be my prayer, "I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me commands me what to say and how to say it," John 12:49 [1]. May I speak truth the right way (in love, humility and kindness) at the right time (when one isn't tired or in the right place to receive it), Prov 25:11. Like apples of gold in settings of silver, so is the right word at the right time, Prov 25:11

I know You will not give up on my wife -- I forgive and pray for her salvation but after years, am hearing counsel and sensing You are shifting gears, 1 Cor 7:15, Isa 42:9, and ask for wisdom in all that, James 1:5, Col 1:9, Col 4:12, Phil 1:9-11. But without confession and repentance, and conversion, we can only go so far -- “'Truly I tell you,' He said, 'unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,'" Matt 18:3. Lord, even YOU don't forgive people who don't confess, 1 Jn 1:9, and Your instruction to Peter in Luke is based on someone who returns to the one sinned against and says, "I repent" -- Luke 17:3-4. So help us live in an understanding way with her, and let her see to it she respects me, but as it's evident there is no fruit for You and she's "broke the yoke and burst the bond," Jer 5:5, let me now speak timely words and serve her tenderly, yet not be taken advantage of, but quietly win her over as if I were a woman with an unsaved husband, 1 Peter 3:1-9.

It was while they were ministering to the Lord and fasting -- please help me hunger and thirst for righteousness in these situation, and help others share this burden with me for her, me, our child, the entire situation and all that’s transpired, good, bad and ugly, to be turned for glory, praise and honor, Isa 58:6-14. Let us plead the cause of the widower, and defend the cause that by foolish abandonment was made to be orphaned, Jer 5:28, which if we can't visit the widower or orphan, James 1:27, we can at least pray for them and keep ourselves unstained by the world.

As the early church said, "fasting and giving lends wings to our prayers." The Truth is the same yesterday, but today and forever, Heb 13:8. Please grant powerful grace and strength within me, grant grace to humble my soul with fasting, to CONTROL THE TONGUE with SAYING TRUTH, sanctifying residual pockets of darkness with light, helping the word become flesh, as John says, John 1:14, to love You AND my NEIGHBOR (how much more my wife and children) with ALL my heart, soul, mind, will, emotions, physical strength and finances -- my thoughts, words, deeds, actions and especially my reactions -- let the word be engrafted as explained by James 1:22-23.

I've been sinned against A LOT by her and her family -- I believe the remedy of being sinned against is praying for their salvation -- again nothing's been confessed and repented of... I plainly state for the record I forgive everyone everything, and done as much as I can to be at peace with everyone, Rom 12:18. Salvation is still needed, 2 Tim 2:3-4, repentance isn't optional, but having overlooked times of ignorance You are now commanding everyone everywhere to repent, having fixed a day of certain judgment with justice by The Man appointed, and furnished proof to everyone by raising Him from the dead, Acts 17:31-32, 2 Pet 3:9 -- but please help me say TRUTH in LOVE, Eph 4:15, "filled with GRACE and truth," John 1:14.

Place and use the love of Jesus in me to publicly and privately demonstrate true love of the gospel, Gal 3:1. Let me model it and teach it to myself, her, every family member, those near and dear and those far off and beyond to extended family, friends especially any who might consider me an enemy -- let me be a living ambassador Your love to be known and read by all people groups, everywhere, 2 Cor 3:2, “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 [1].

Do not take us out of the world, but keep us from the evil one, John 17:15. Sanctify us by the truth; Your Word is truth, John 17:17. Because I LOVE her, let me wash her with the water of the word to be a bride ready for her husband, Eph 5:25-26, 27 -- and if she could help out by reading the word and preparing herself also, Rev 19:7-8, it would be both helpful and fitting (wholly within bounds of Scripture). I'd also like to have a little respect since it's a picture of Christ and the Church Eph 5:32:33 -- hopefully we don't sit around all day, expect Christ to die for us over and over, Heb 10:26, and disrespect him and do the opposite of what he asks us, Matt 7:21, -- hopefully we don't expect him to say "how high" and don't expect to command Him to jump... We are not stronger than He, correct? Jer 5:22, 1 Cor 10:22.

Keep her, them and us from evil people, 2 Thes 3:2, temptation, Matt 6:13, sin Zeph 3:13 and the evil one, Matt 6:13. Thank you for the angels in advance -- they're real and really do get sent ahead, Heb 13, and thank You in advance for the fact "You like to make their faces change," in Jesus' Name.

 

[Nochaeld]

[1] “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 — Historical Comments: What to say (εϊπω) and how to say it (λαλήσω) -- (dicam) and (loquar), Latin Vulgate, are supposed to discriminate matter (content) and form (style of speech), as another commentator says, “My words and their manner and tone are all of them the outcome of the Father's (ἐντολὴ) command.

The word εἰπεῖν relates to the words as spoken successively; λέγειν refers to the sentiment and connection of the words.

The former relating to the SUBSTANCE, and the latter to the FORM of Jesus' utterances.

See we not that He brings His expressions with an excess of humility, that He may both win them over, and silence those who would look to persecute Him. This is why He utters words appropriate to humanity, that He may help us bridge the severity of the sayings, as being conscious that the words belong not to Him, but The Father, and are thus tailored, even suited to the weakness of the hearers.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart, brother, and we stand with you in fervent prayer, lifting up your marriage, your wife, your child, and your own weary soul before the throne of grace. You are carrying a heavy burden, and we recognize the deep love you still hold for your wife, even as you navigate the painful reality of a marriage that has not yet borne the fruit of repentance, confession, and salvation. Your desire to speak truth in love, to walk in wisdom, and to honor God in this trial is commendable, and we join you in seeking the Lord’s guidance for every word and action.

First, we must address the foundation of all our prayers and petitions: the name of Jesus Christ. It is only through Him that we have access to the Father (John 14:6), and there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). Your prayer is rooted in Scripture and in a heart that seeks to align with God’s will, and we are grateful for that. But let us never forget that our authority to pray, to rebuke, and to stand in the gap comes solely from Christ. Without Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). If your wife does not yet know Jesus as Lord and Savior, her greatest need is not merely a restored marriage but a transformed heart. We pray that the Holy Spirit would convict her of sin, righteousness, and judgment (John 16:8), and that she would turn to Christ in repentance and faith. Until that happens, we must continue to pray for her salvation as the highest priority, even as we seek wisdom for the path ahead.

Your reference to 1 Corinthians 7:15 is a critical one. Scripture does not command a believer to remain in a marriage where an unbelieving spouse is content to leave and has hardened their heart against the gospel. However, this is not a license to abandon hope or to act in haste. We must wait on the Lord, seeking His will above our own desires, and trusting that He is working even when we cannot see it. The shift you sense may indeed be the Lord preparing your heart for a new season, but we must not move ahead of Him. Let us pray that if reconciliation is possible, it would be on God’s terms—not ours—and that if it is not, you would have the strength to walk in peace and obedience.

Your commitment to fasting and prayer is a powerful weapon in this battle. Isaiah 58:6-14 makes it clear that the fast God chooses is one that loosens the chains of injustice, sets the oppressed free, and breaks every yoke. Your fasting is not merely about abstaining from food but about aligning your heart with God’s heart for justice, mercy, and redemption. We join you in pleading the cause of the "widower" and the "orphaned" in this situation—the child who may feel abandoned and the husband who has been sinned against. We pray that your fasting would lend wings to your prayers, that the Lord would give you grace to humble your soul, and that He would fill you with His strength to control your tongue, speak truth in love, and sanctify every area of your life.

Your words about forgiveness are deeply biblical. You have chosen to forgive, even without confession or repentance from your wife or her family, and this is a reflection of Christ’s love. But forgiveness does not mean ignoring sin or pretending it did not happen. It means releasing the debt to God and refusing to hold bitterness in your heart. However, it does not obligate you to remain in a situation where sin is unrepentant and ongoing. We must forgive as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32), but we must also recognize that unrepentant sin has consequences. Your wife’s refusal to confess and repent is a serious matter, and we must not minimize the gravity of it. The Lord does not forgive those who do not confess (1 John 1:9), and He calls us to confront sin in love when necessary (Matthew 18:15-17).

Your desire to speak truth in love, as Ephesians 4:15 instructs, is the right posture. But let us also remember that gracious words are not always soft words. Sometimes truth must be spoken firmly, especially when sin is involved. Zechariah 1:13 reminds us that the Lord speaks "good words, comforting words," but those words are often preceded by a call to repentance. We pray that the Lord would give you the wisdom to know when to speak, what to say, and how to say it—whether that means tenderly wooing your wife back to the Lord or firmly standing on biblical principles when necessary.

We must also address the reality of your wife’s spiritual condition. You have prayed for her salvation for years, and we join you in that prayer. But we must also acknowledge that salvation is not a one-time event but a lifelong journey of sanctification. If she has never truly repented and placed her faith in Christ, then her "faith" is not genuine, and her actions will reflect that. We must pray that the Lord would open her eyes to the truth of the gospel, that she would see her need for a Savior, and that she would turn from her sin. Until that happens, we cannot expect her to live as a believer should.

Your reference to Ephesians 5:25-27 is a beautiful picture of Christ’s love for the church, and we pray that you would continue to love your wife as Christ loves the church—sacrificially, selflessly, and with a heart for her holiness. But we must also recognize that this passage assumes a believing wife who is submitted to the Lord. If your wife is not a believer, then she is not under the same biblical obligations as a believing spouse. This does not mean you should not love her or treat her with respect, but it does mean that you cannot expect her to live as a believer would. We pray that the Lord would give you wisdom to navigate this tension, to love her as Christ loves the church while also recognizing the reality of her spiritual state.

We must also address the issue of respect in marriage. Ephesians 5:33 commands wives to respect their husbands, but this is in the context of a believing wife who is submitted to the Lord. If your wife is not a believer, then she is not bound by this command in the same way. However, this does not give you license to disrespect her or to demand respect. Instead, we must pray that the Lord would soften her heart and that she would see the love of Christ in you. 1 Peter 3:1-2 instructs believing wives to win their unbelieving husbands "without a word" by their conduct, but the same principle applies in reverse. Your godly life, your patience, and your love may be the very things that draw her to Christ.

We also lift up your child in this situation. The pain of a broken marriage is deeply felt by children, and we pray that the Lord would protect their heart, give them wisdom, and draw them to Himself. We pray that you would have the strength to be a godly father, to model Christ’s love, and to speak truth into their life. We also pray that the Lord would provide godly mentors and influences for your child, that they would see the love of Christ in others as well.

Finally, we must address the spiritual warfare at play in this situation. The enemy would love nothing more than to destroy your marriage, your faith, and your family. But we serve a God who is greater than the enemy, and we stand on the promise that "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world" (1 John 4:4). We pray that the Lord would bind the enemy’s schemes, protect your heart from bitterness, and fill you with His peace. We also pray that the Lord would send His angels to guard and protect you, your wife, and your child, as Hebrews 1:14 promises.

Let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother and his family to You. Lord, we thank You for his love for his wife, his commitment to Your Word, and his desire to honor You in this difficult situation. We ask that You would give him wisdom, discernment, and strength for each day. Father, we pray for his wife—that You would open her eyes to the truth of the gospel, convict her of sin, and draw her to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. We pray that You would soften her heart, break every chain of rebellion, and fill her with Your Spirit.

Lord, we ask that You would protect their child, guard their heart, and draw them to You. We pray that You would provide godly influences in their life and that they would see the love of Christ in their father. Father, we also pray for our brother—that You would fill him with Your peace, give him strength to control his tongue, and help him to speak truth in love. We ask that You would give him grace to forgive, wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent, and the courage to stand on Your Word.

Lord, we pray against the schemes of the enemy in this situation. We bind every spirit of division, bitterness, and rebellion, and we ask that You would fill this marriage with Your peace, Your love, and Your truth. We pray that You would send Your angels to guard and protect this family, and that You would turn every trial into a testimony for Your glory.

Father, we ask that You would give our brother the grace to fast and pray with power, that his prayers would be like incense before Your throne, and that You would answer them according to Your will. We pray that You would give him the strength to love his wife as Christ loves the church, to serve her tenderly, and to walk in obedience to Your Word.

Lord, we trust You with this situation. We know that You are working even when we cannot see it, and we ask that You would bring beauty from ashes, joy from mourning, and praise from despair. We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Brother, we encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer and fasting, to surround yourself with godly counsel, and to trust in God’s timing. The road ahead may be difficult, but the Lord is faithful, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Keep your eyes on Jesus, and let His love be the foundation of all you do. If reconciliation is possible, may it be on God’s terms. If it is not, may you have the strength to walk in peace and obedience. Either way, we stand with you, and we believe that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

 

[hostadmin]

I hear your heart, brother, and I stand with you in prayer, lifting up your marriage, your wife, your child, and your own weary soul before the throne of grace. I understand the deep love you still hold for your wife, even as you navigate the painful reality of a marriage that has not yet borne the fruit of repentance, confession, and salvation. Your desire to speak truth in love, to walk in wisdom, and to honor God in this trial is commendable, and I join you in seeking the Lord's guidance for every word and action.

First, let us address the foundation of all our prayers and petitions: the name of Jesus Christ. It is only through Him that we have access to the Father (John 14:6), and there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). Your prayer is rooted in Scripture and in a heart that seeks to align with God's will, and I am grateful for that. But let us never forget that our authority to pray, to rebuke, and to stand in the gap comes solely from Christ. Without Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5).

If your wife does not yet know Jesus as Lord and Savior, her greatest need is not merely a restored marriage but a transformed heart. We pray that the Holy Spirit would convict her of sin, righteousness, and judgment (John 16:8), and that she would turn to Christ in repentance and faith. Until that happens, we must continue to pray for her salvation as the highest priority, even as we seek wisdom for the path ahead.

Your reference to 1 Corinthians 7:15 is critical. Scripture does not command a believer to remain in a marriage where an unbelieving spouse is content to leave and has hardened their heart against the gospel. However, this is not a license to abandon hope or to act in haste. We must wait on the Lord, seeking His will above our own desires, and trusting that He is working even when we cannot see it. The shift you sense may indeed be the Lord preparing your heart for a new season, but we must not move ahead of Him. Let us pray that if reconciliation is possible, it would be on God's terms—not ours—and that if it is not, you would have the strength to walk in peace and obedience.

Your commitment to fasting and prayer is a powerful weapon in this battle. Isaiah 58:6-14 makes it clear that the fast God chooses is one that loosens the chains of injustice, sets the oppressed free, and breaks every yoke. Your fasting is not merely about abstaining from food but about aligning your heart with God's heart for justice, mercy, and redemption. I join you in pleading the cause of the "widower" and the "orphaned" in this situation—the child who may feel abandoned and the husband who has been sinned against. I pray that your fasting would lend wings to your prayers, that the Lord would give you grace to humble your soul, and that He would fill you with His strength to control your tongue, speak truth in love, and sanctify every area of your life.

Your words about forgiveness are deeply biblical. You have chosen to forgive, even without confession or repentance from your wife or her family, and this is a reflection of Christ's love. But forgiveness does not mean ignoring sin or pretending it did not happen. It means releasing the debt to God and refusing to hold bitterness in your heart. However, it does not obligate you to remain in a situation where sin is unrepentant and ongoing. We must forgive as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32), but we must also recognize that unrepentant sin has consequences. Your wife's refusal to confess and repent is a serious matter, and we must not minimize the gravity of it. The Lord does not forgive those who do not confess (1 John 1:9), and He calls us to confront sin in love when necessary (Matthew 18:15-17).

Your desire to speak truth in love, as Ephesians 4:15 instructs, is the right posture. But let us also remember that gracious words are not always soft words. Sometimes truth must be spoken firmly, especially when sin is involved. Zechariah 1:13 reminds us that the Lord speaks "good words, comforting words," but those words are often preceded by a call to repentance. I pray that the Lord would give you the wisdom to know when to speak, what to say, and how to say it—whether that means tenderly wooing your wife back to the Lord or firmly standing on biblical principles when necessary.

We must also address the reality of your wife's spiritual condition. You have prayed for her salvation for years, and I join you in that prayer. But we must also acknowledge that salvation is not a one-time event but a lifelong journey of sanctification. If she has never truly repented and placed her faith in Christ, then her "faith" is not genuine, and her actions will reflect that. We must pray that the Lord would open her eyes to the truth of the gospel, that she would see her need for a Savior, and that she would turn from her sin. Until that happens, we cannot expect her to live as a believer should.

Your reference to Ephesians 5:25-27 is a beautiful picture of Christ's love for the church, and I pray that you would continue to love your wife as Christ loves the church—sacrificially, selflessly, and with a heart for her holiness. But we must also recognize that this passage assumes a believing wife who is submitted to the Lord. If your wife is not a believer, then she is not under the same biblical obligations as a believing spouse. This does not mean you should not love her or treat her with respect, but it does mean that you cannot expect her to live as a believer would. I pray that the Lord would give you wisdom to navigate this tension, to love her as Christ loves the church while also recognizing the reality of her spiritual state.

We must also address the issue of respect in marriage. Ephesians 5:33 commands wives to respect their husbands, but this is in the context of a believing wife who is submitted to the Lord. If your wife is not a believer, then she is not bound by this command in the same way. However, this does not give you license to disrespect her or to demand respect. Instead, I pray that the Lord would soften her heart and that she would see the love of Christ in you. 1 Peter 3:1-2 instructs believing wives to win their unbelieving husbands "without a word" by their conduct, but the same principle applies in reverse. Your godly life, your patience, and your love may be the very things that draw her to Christ.

I also lift up your child in this situation. The pain of a broken marriage is deeply felt by children, and I pray that the Lord would protect their heart, give them wisdom, and draw them to Himself. I pray that you would have the strength to be a godly father, to model Christ's love, and to speak truth into their life. I also pray that the Lord would provide godly mentors and influences for your child, that they would see the love of Christ in others as well.

Finally, we must address the spiritual warfare at play in this situation. The enemy would love nothing more than to destroy your marriage, your faith, and your family. But we serve a God who is greater than the enemy, and we stand on the promise that "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world" (1 John 4:4). I pray that the Lord would bind the enemy's schemes, protect your heart from bitterness, and fill you with His peace. I also pray that the Lord would send His angels to guard and protect this family, as Hebrews 1:14 promises.

Let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother and his family to You. Lord, we thank You for his love for his wife, his commitment to Your Word, and his desire to honor You in this difficult situation. We ask that You would give him wisdom, discernment, and strength for each day. Father, we pray for his wife—that You would open her eyes to the truth of the gospel, convict her of sin, and draw her to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. We pray that You would soften her heart, break every chain of rebellion, and fill her with Your Spirit.

Lord, we ask that You would protect their child, guard their heart, and draw them to You. We pray that You would provide godly influences in their life and that they would see the love of Christ in their father. Father, we also pray for our brother—that You would fill him with Your peace, give him strength to control his tongue, and help him to speak truth in love. We ask that You would give him grace to forgive, wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent, and the courage to stand on Your Word.

Lord, we pray against the schemes of the enemy in this situation. We bind every spirit of division, bitterness, and rebellion, and we ask that You would fill this marriage with Your peace, Your love, and Your truth. We pray that You would send Your angels to guard and protect this family, and that You would turn every trial into a testimony for Your glory.

Father, we ask that You would give our brother the grace to fast and pray with power, that his prayers would be like incense before Your throne, and that You would answer them according to Your will. We pray that You would give him the strength to love his wife as Christ loves the church, to serve her tenderly, and to walk in obedience to Your Word.

Lord, we trust You with this situation. We know that You are working even when we cannot see it, and we ask that You would bring beauty from ashes, joy from mourning, and praise from despair. We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Brother, I encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer and fasting, to surround yourself with godly counsel, and to trust in God's timing. The road ahead may be difficult, but the Lord is faithful, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Keep your eyes on Jesus, and let His love be the foundation of all you do. If reconciliation is possible, may it be on God's terms. If it is not, may you have the strength to walk in peace and obedience. Either way, we stand with you, and we believe that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.