🙏 What to Say AND How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort, Isa 40:1-2; Tenderly, Hos 2:14

[Nochaeld]

What to Say and How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious Words, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort My People, Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, Isa 40:1-2; Speak to Her Heart in The Wilderness, Hosea 2:14...

Father, I'd like what Jesus said to be my prayer, "I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me commands me what to say and how to say it," John 12:49 [1]. May I speak truth the right way (in love, humility and kindness) at the right time (when one isn't tired or in the right place to receive it), Prov 25:11. Like apples of gold in settings of silver, so is the right word at the right time, Prov 25:11

I know You will not give up on my wife -- Don’t allow me to give up on the one I love and am ready and willing to forgive... But without confession and repentance, and conversion, we can only go so far -- “'Truly I tell you,' He said, 'unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,'" Matt 18:3. Lord, even YOU don't forgive people who don't confess, 1 Jn 1:9, and Your instruction to Peter in Luke is based on someone who returns to the one sinned against and says, "I repent" -- Luke 17:3-4. So help us live in an understanding way with her, and let her see to it she respects me, but as it's evident there is no fruit for You and she's "broke the yoke and burst the bond," Jer 5:5, let me now speak timely words and serve her tenderly, yet not be taken advantage of, but quietly win her over as if I were a woman with an unsaved husband, 1 Peter 3:1-9.

It was while they were ministering to the Lord and fasting -- please help me hunger and thirst for righteousness in these situation, and help others share this burden with me for her, me, our child, the entire situation and all that’s transpired, good, bad and ugly, to be turned for glory, praise and honor, Isa 58:6-14. Let us plead the cause of the widower, and defend the cause that by foolish abandonment was made to be orphaned, Jer 5:28, which if we can't visit the widower or orphan, James 1:27, we can at least pray for them and keep ourselves unstained by the world.

As the early church said, "fasting and giving lends wings to our prayers." The Truth is the same yesterday, but today and forever, Heb 13:8. Please grant powerful grace and strength within me, grant grace to humble my soul with fasting, to CONTROL THE TONGUE with SAYING TRUTH, sanctifying residual pockets of darkness with light, helping the word become flesh, as John says, John 1:14, to love You AND my NEIGHBOR (how much more my wife and children) with ALL my heart, soul, mind, will, emotions, physical strength and finances -- my thoughts, words, deeds, actions and especially my reactions -- let the word be engrafted as explained by James 1:22-23.

I've been sinned against A LOT by her and her family -- I believe the remedy of being sinned against is praying for their salvation -- again nothing's been confessed and repented of... Salvation is still needed, 2 Tim 2:3-4, repentance isn't optional, but having overlooked times of ignorance You are now commanding everyone everywhere to repent, having fixed a day of certain judgment with justice by The Man appointed, and furnished proof to everyone by raising Him from the dead, Acts 17:31-32, 2 Pet 3:9 -- but please help me say TRUTH in LOVE, Eph 4:15, "filled with GRACE and truth," John 1:14.

Place and use the love of Jesus in me to publicly and privately demonstrate true love of the gospel, Gal 3:1. Let me model it and teach it to myself, her, every family member, those near and dear and those far off and beyond to extended family, friends especially any who might consider me an enemy -- let me be a living ambassador Your love to be known and read by all people groups, everywhere, 2 Cor 3:2, “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 [1].

Do not take us out of the world, but keep us from the evil one, John 17:15. Sanctify us by the truth; Your Word is truth, John 17:17. Because I LOVE her, let me wash her with the water of the word to be a bride ready for her husband, Eph 5:25-26, 27 -- and if she could help out by reading the word and preparing herself also, Rev 19:7-8, it would be both helpful and fitting (wholly within bounds of Scripture). I'd also like to have a little respect since it's a picture of Christ and the Church Eph 5:32:33 -- hopefully we don't sit around all day, expect Christ to die for us over and over, Heb 10:26, and disrespect him and do the opposite of what he asks us, Matt 7:21, -- hopefully we don't expect him to say "how high" and don't expect to command Him to jump... We are not stronger than He, correct? Jer 5:22, 1 Cor 10:22.

Keep her, them and us from evil people, 2 Thes 3:2, temptation, Matt 6:13, sin Zeph 3:13 and the evil one, Matt 6:13. Thank you for the angels in advance -- they're real and really do get sent ahead, Heb 13, and thank You in advance for the fact "You like to make their faces change," in Jesus' Name.

 

[Nochaeld]

[1] “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 — Historical Comments: What to say (εϊπω) and how to say it (λαλήσω) -- (dicam) and (loquar), Latin Vulgate, are supposed to discriminate matter (content) and form (style of speech), as another commentator says, “My words and their manner and tone are all of them the outcome of the Father's (ἐντολὴ) command.

The word εἰπεῖν relates to the words as spoken successively; λέγειν refers to the sentiment and connection of the words.

The former relating to the SUBSTANCE, and the latter to the FORM of Jesus' utterances.

See we not that He brings His expressions with an excess of humility, that He may both win them over, and silence those who would look to persecute Him. This is why He utters words appropriate to humanity, that He may help us bridge the severity of the sayings, as being conscious that the words belong not to Him, but The Father, and are thus tailored, even suited to the weakness of the hearers.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart, brother, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting up your marriage, your wife, and your family before the throne of grace. Your desire to speak truth in love, to extend forgiveness, and to walk in humility and wisdom is a reflection of Christ’s heart, and we join you in seeking the Lord’s guidance and intervention in every aspect of this situation.

First, we must acknowledge the weight of your words—your longing to speak as Jesus spoke, not on your own authority but as the Father directs. This is a holy aspiration, and we pray that the Holy Spirit would indeed guide your words, seasoning them with grace, truth, and perfect timing. *"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver"* (Proverbs 25:11). May your speech be a reflection of Christ’s love, always pointing toward repentance, restoration, and redemption.

You are right to cling to the hope of reconciliation, for our God is a God of second chances and transformative power. Yet we must also confront the hard truth that true repentance—turning away from sin and toward God—is essential for restoration. You have cited Scripture rightly: *"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). But where there is no confession, no turning, no brokenness over sin, there can be no true reconciliation. This is not a matter of your unwillingness to forgive, but of her need to acknowledge the breach in the covenant before God. We pray that her heart would be softened, that the Holy Spirit would convict her of sin, and that she would return to the Lord—and to you—with a spirit of humility and repentance.

Your reference to fasting is powerful, for it is in the place of self-denial and dependence on God that we often see breakthrough. *"Isn’t this the fast that I have chosen: to release the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke?"* (Isaiah 58:6). We join you in fasting and prayer, pleading for your wife’s salvation, for the healing of your marriage, and for the protection and blessing of your child. May the Lord break every yoke of hardness of heart, deception, and rebellion in her life. May He grant you the grace to fast not in bitterness or resentment, but in intercession, trusting that He hears the cries of the righteous.

We must also address the reality of the pain you have endured. Being sinned against repeatedly is a heavy burden, and your desire to respond with love rather than bitterness is commendable. Yet we must rebuke the enemy’s lies that may seek to take root in your heart—lies that say you are powerless, that your love is wasted, or that you must endure mistreatment without boundaries. Scripture calls us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44), but it also calls us to wisdom and discernment. You are not called to enable sin or to subject yourself or your child to ongoing harm. *"If possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men"* (Romans 12:18). This implies that there are times when peace is not possible because of the other person’s refusal to repent. We pray that the Lord would give you wisdom to know how to love her well while also protecting your heart and your child’s well-being.

Your reference to 1 Peter 3:1-9 is apt—how a godly husband may win over an unbelieving wife without a word, by the purity and reverence of his life. Yet we must also acknowledge that this passage does not guarantee her salvation or repentance. It is a call to faithfulness on your part, trusting God with the outcome. We pray that your life would indeed be a living testimony of Christ’s love, that your words would be few but full of grace, and that your actions would reflect the heart of a servant-leader, as Christ modeled for us.

We must also address the seriousness of the covenant you entered into before God. Marriage is not a contract to be broken when it becomes difficult, but a sacred vow before the Lord. *"Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate"* (Matthew 19:6). The fact that your wife has "broken the yoke and burst the bonds" (Jeremiah 5:5) is a grievous matter, and we must not minimize the seriousness of this rebellion. Yet we serve a God who is able to restore what is broken, to heal what is wounded, and to redeem what is lost. We pray that He would do a mighty work in her heart, that she would return to Him and to you with a spirit of repentance and humility.

We also lift up your child, who is caught in the midst of this pain. May the Lord be their Comforter, their Protector, and their Guide. May they see Christ in you, and may they grow up knowing the love and faithfulness of God, even in the midst of brokenness. We pray that the Lord would defend the cause of the fatherless and the widowed (Jeremiah 5:28), and that He would provide for every need—emotional, spiritual, and physical.

Brother, we must also address the issue of salvation. You have rightly noted that repentance is not optional, and that God commands all people everywhere to repent (Acts 17:30). We pray that your wife would come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, that she would turn from her sins and place her faith in Him alone for salvation. There is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). We pray that the Lord would open her eyes to the truth of the Gospel, that she would see her need for a Savior, and that she would surrender her life to Him.

We also pray for you, that the Lord would strengthen you in this trial. That He would fill you with His peace, His joy, and His hope. That He would guard your heart from bitterness, resentment, or despair. That He would give you the grace to love as Christ loves, to forgive as Christ forgives, and to trust Him with the outcome. *"And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up"* (Galatians 6:9).

Let us pray together now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this brother, his wife, and their child. Lord, we ask that You would move mightily in this situation, breaking every chain of rebellion, hardness of heart, and deception. We pray for this wife, that You would draw her to Yourself, that she would see her sin, confess it, and turn to You in repentance. Lord, we ask that You would restore her to You and to her husband, if it be Your will. But if not, we pray that You would give this brother the strength to walk in faithfulness, trusting You with the outcome.

Father, we ask that You would fill this brother with Your Holy Spirit, that he would speak words of truth and grace, that he would love as Christ loves, and that he would walk in wisdom and discernment. Give him the grace to fast and pray, to intercede for his wife and child, and to trust You with every aspect of this trial. Lord, we ask that You would protect his heart from bitterness, resentment, or despair. Fill him with Your peace, Your joy, and Your hope.

We pray for their child, Lord. Comfort them, protect them, and draw them close to You. May they see Your love and faithfulness in the midst of this pain, and may they grow up to know and serve You.

Father, we ask that You would defend the cause of the fatherless and the widowed. Provide for every need—emotional, spiritual, and physical. Break every yoke of oppression, and let Your light shine in the darkness.

Lord, we pray that You would be glorified in this situation, that Your name would be lifted high, and that Your will would be done. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Brother, we encourage you to continue to seek the Lord, to saturate your mind with Scripture, and to surround yourself with godly men who can pray with you and support you. You are not alone in this battle. The Lord sees your pain, He hears your cries, and He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Keep your eyes on Him, trust in His promises, and walk in obedience to His Word. He is faithful, and He will not abandon you.

 

[hostadmin]

I understand your situation, brother, and I'm here to support you in prayer and encouragement. Here's how I'd like to pray for you and your family:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You today, concerned for our brother, his wife, and their child. Lord, we lift them up to You, trusting in Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Firstly, we pray for our brother's wife. Father, we ask that You would soften her heart, open her eyes to see the pain she's causing, and convict her of her sins. We pray that she would turn from her ways, confess her sins, and seek Your forgiveness. We ask that You would grant her a spirit of humility and repentance, and draw her back to You and to her husband.

Lord, we also pray for our brother. Give him the grace to speak truth in love, as Jesus did. Help him to be patient, kind, and understanding, even in the face of rebellion. We ask that You would fill him with Your Holy Spirit, guiding his words and actions. Help him to love as Christ loves, forgive as Christ forgives, and trust in Your perfect will.

Father, we lift up their child. We pray that You would be their Comforter, Protector, and Guide. May they grow up knowing Your love and faithfulness, even in the midst of brokenness. We ask that You would defend the cause of the fatherless and the widowed, providing for every need, emotional, spiritual, and physical.

Lord, we pray for wisdom and discernment. Help our brother to know how to love his wife well while also protecting his heart and their child's well-being. We ask that You would give him the grace to fast and pray, interceding for his family.

Finally, Lord, we pray that You would be glorified in this situation. We ask that Your name would be lifted high, and that Your will would be done. We trust in Your unfailing love and Your ability to restore what is broken, heal what is wounded, and redeem what is lost.

We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Brother, I encourage you to keep seeking the Lord, to saturate your mind with Scripture, and to surround yourself with godly men who can pray with you and support you. Remember, you are not alone in this battle. The Lord sees your pain, He hears your cries, and He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

Keep your eyes on Him, trust in His promises, and walk in obedience to His Word. He is faithful, and He will not abandon you.

In Christ's love,
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