🙏 What to Say AND How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort, Isa 40:1-2; Tenderly, Hos 2:14

[Nochaeld]

What to Say and How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious Words, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort My People, Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, Isa 40:1-2; Speak to Her Heart in The Wilderness, Hosea 2:14...

Father, I'd like what Jesus said to be my prayer, "I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me commands me what to say and how to say it," John 12:49 [1]. May I speak truth the right way (in love, humility and kindness) at the right time (when one isn't tired or in the right place to receive it), Prov 25:11. Like apples of gold in settings of silver, so is the right word at the right time, Prov 25:11

I know You will not give up on my wife -- Don’t allow me to give up on the one I love and am ready and willing to forgive... But without confession and repentance, and conversion, we can only go so far -- “'Truly I tell you,' He said, 'unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,'" Matt 18:3. Lord, even YOU don't forgive people who don't confess, 1 Jn 1:9, and Your instruction to Peter in Luke is based on someone who returns to the one sinned against and says, "I repent" -- Luke 17:3-4. So help us live in an understanding way with her, and let her see to it she respects me, but as it's evident there is no fruit for You and she's "broke the yoke and burst the bond," Jer 5:5, let me now speak timely words and serve her tenderly, yet not be taken advantage of, but quietly win her over as if I were a woman with an unsaved husband, 1 Peter 3:1-9.

It was while they were ministering to the Lord and fasting -- please help me hunger and thirst for righteousness in these situation, and help others share this burden with me for her, me, our child, the entire situation and all that’s transpired, good, bad and ugly, to be turned for glory, praise and honor, Isa 58:6-14. Let us plead the cause of the widower, and defend the cause that by foolish abandonment was made to be orphaned, Jer 5:28, which if we can't visit the widower or orphan, James 1:27, we can at least pray for them and keep ourselves unstained by the world.

As the early church said, "fasting and giving lends wings to our prayers." The Truth is the same yesterday, but today and forever, Heb 13:8. Please grant powerful grace and strength within me, grant grace to humble my soul with fasting, to CONTROL THE TONGUE with SAYING TRUTH, sanctifying residual pockets of darkness with light, helping the word become flesh, as John says, John 1:14, to love You AND my NEIGHBOR (how much more my wife and children) with ALL my heart, soul, mind, will, emotions, physical strength and finances -- my thoughts, words, deeds, actions and especially my reactions -- let the word be engrafted as explained by James 1:22-23.

I've been sinned against A LOT by her and her family -- I believe the remedy of being sinned against is praying for their salvation -- again nothing's been confessed and repented of... Salvation is still needed, 2 Tim 2:3-4, repentance isn't optional, but having overlooked times of ignorance You are now commanding everyone everywhere to repent, having fixed a day of certain judgment with justice by The Man appointed, and furnished proof to everyone by raising Him from the dead, Acts 17:31-32, 2 Pet 3:9 -- but please help me say TRUTH in LOVE, Eph 4:15, "filled with GRACE and truth," John 1:14.

Place and use the love of Jesus in me to publicly and privately demonstrate true love of the gospel, Gal 3:1. Let me model it and teach it to myself, her, every family member, those near and dear and those far off and beyond to extended family, friends especially any who might consider me an enemy -- let me be a living ambassador Your love to be known and read by all people groups, everywhere, 2 Cor 3:2, “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 [1].

Do not take us out of the world, but keep us from the evil one, John 17:15. Sanctify us by the truth; Your Word is truth, John 17:17. Because I LOVE her, let me wash her with the water of the word to be a bride ready for her husband, Eph 5:25-26, 27 -- and if she could help out by reading the word and preparing herself also, Rev 19:7-8, it would be both helpful and fitting (wholly within bounds of Scripture). I'd also like to have a little respect since it's a picture of Christ and the Church Eph 5:32:33 -- hopefully we don't sit around all day, expect Christ to die for us over and over, Heb 10:26, and disrespect him and do the opposite of what he asks us, Matt 7:21, -- hopefully we don't expect him to say "how high" and don't expect to command Him to jump... We are not stronger than He, correct? Jer 5:22, 1 Cor 10:22.

Keep her, them and us from evil people, 2 Thes 3:2, temptation, Matt 6:13, sin Zeph 3:13 and the evil one, Matt 6:13. Thank you for the angels in advance -- they're real and really do get sent ahead, Heb 13, and thank You in advance for the fact "You like to make their faces change," in Jesus' Name.

 

[Nochaeld]

[1] “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 — Historical Comments: What to say (εϊπω) and how to say it (λαλήσω) -- (dicam) and (loquar), Latin Vulgate), are supposed to discriminate matter (content) and form (style of speech), as another commentator says, “My words and their manner and tone are all of them the outcome of the Father's (ἐντολὴ) command.

The word εἰπεῖν relates to the words as spoken successively; λέγειν refers to the sentiment and connection of the words.

The former relating to the SUBSTANCE, and the latter to the FORM of Jesus' utterances.

See we not that He brings His expressions with an excess of humility, that He may both win them over, and silence those who would look to persecute Him. This is why He utters words appropriate to humanity, that He may help us bridge the severity of the sayings, as being conscious that the words belong not to Him, but The Father, and are thus tailored, even suited to the weakness of the hearers.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart’s cry, brother, and we stand with you before the throne of grace, lifting up your marriage, your wife, your child, and your own weary soul. You are not alone in this battle, and we join you in praying that the Lord would move in power, in mercy, and in truth.

First, we must acknowledge the deep love you still hold for your wife, even in the face of pain and unrepentance. Your desire to speak truth in love, to serve her tenderly, and to win her over without bitterness is a reflection of Christ’s own heart. Jesus did not come to condemn, but to save (John 3:17), and yet He never compromised the truth. We pray that you would be filled with that same balance—grace and truth intertwined, as our Lord was (John 1:14). May your words be as apples of gold in settings of silver, perfectly timed and seasoned with salt (Proverbs 25:11, Colossians 4:6). Let the Holy Spirit guide you in *what* to say and *how* to say it, just as the Father commanded Christ (John 12:49).

Yet we must also speak plainly about the hard truths in your situation. You have mentioned the absence of confession and repentance, and Scripture is clear: without repentance, there can be no true reconciliation with God or man (Luke 17:3-4, 1 John 1:9). The Lord does not overlook sin, nor does He force repentance—He calls, He convicts, and He waits with longsuffering (2 Peter 3:9). But we must not mistake His patience for approval. Your wife’s resistance to the yoke of Christ (Jeremiah 5:5) and her lack of fruit are matters of grave concern. We rebuke the spirit of rebellion in her life and command it to flee in the name of Jesus. We declare that the bondage of sin is broken, and the chains of unbelief are shattered by the power of the cross.

We also must address the weight of your own heart. You have been sinned against deeply, and it is right to acknowledge that pain. But vengeance belongs to the Lord (Romans 12:19), and the remedy for being sinned against is not bitterness, but intercession. We join you in praying for your wife’s salvation, for her family’s repentance, and for the Holy Spirit to convict them of sin, righteousness, and judgment (John 16:8). We declare that their eyes will be opened, that their hearts will be softened, and that they will turn to Christ in genuine repentance. Let not one of them be lost, Lord, but let them all come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4).

Fasting and prayer are powerful weapons in this battle, and we stand with you in this spiritual discipline. Isaiah 58:6-14 reveals that true fasting loosens the chains of injustice, sets the oppressed free, and breaks every yoke. We declare that the yoke of hardness of heart in your marriage is broken now in Jesus’ name! Let this fast be one of humility, of mourning over sin, and of hungering for righteousness (Matthew 5:6). May your prayers rise like incense before the throne (Revelation 5:8), and may the Lord answer with fire from heaven (1 Kings 18:38).

We also lift up your child, who has been caught in the crossfire of this broken covenant. The Lord is the defender of the fatherless (Psalm 68:5), and we pray that He would surround this child with His angels, with godly influences, and with a deep revelation of His love. May this little one know that they are not abandoned, that their heavenly Father is near, and that their earthly father is fighting for them in prayer. We declare that the generational curses of divorce, rebellion, and unbelief are broken over this family line, and that this child will walk in the fullness of their destiny in Christ.

Now, we must address the matter of your role as a husband. Scripture commands you to love your wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25), and that love is not conditional on her response. It is a covenant love, a sacrificial love, a love that washes with the water of the Word (Ephesians 5:26). But we must also be clear: this does not mean you are called to enable sin or to remain in a one-sided relationship where respect and submission are absent. Christ does not submit to the church—He *leads* her, and He does so with gentleness and humility (Matthew 11:29). You are called to lead your family spiritually, to cover them in prayer, and to speak the truth in love, even when it is costly. But you are also called to set boundaries that honor God and protect your own heart and your child’s well-being.

We rebuke the spirit of passivity in your life. You are not called to be a doormat, but a warrior for righteousness. You are not called to endure abuse, but to stand firm in faith while trusting God to bring justice. If your wife is walking in unrepentant sin, Scripture is clear that you are not to be unequally yoked with her in that sin (2 Corinthians 6:14). You may need to lovingly, but firmly, call her to account—not out of anger, but out of a desire to see her restored to Christ. And if she refuses to repent, you may need to consider what godly separation looks like, not as a means of punishment, but as a call to repentance (1 Corinthians 7:15-16).

We also must address the matter of your own heart. You have mentioned being sinned against "a lot," and we acknowledge the pain of betrayal. But we must guard against bitterness, for it will defile you and those around you (Hebrews 12:15). We pray that the Lord would heal your wounds, that He would restore your soul, and that He would fill you with His peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Let the love of Christ control you (2 Corinthians 5:14), and let His joy be your strength (Nehemiah 8:10). You cannot control your wife’s choices, but you can control your response—and in that response, you have the power to either glorify God or to dishonor Him.

We declare over your marriage that what the enemy meant for evil, God will turn for good (Genesis 50:20). We declare that the wilderness your wife is in will become a place of encounter with the living God (Hosea 2:14). We declare that the words you speak over her will be gracious and comforting, as the Lord spoke tenderly to Jerusalem (Isaiah 40:1-2, Zechariah 1:13). We declare that the love of Christ will compel you to act with wisdom, with patience, and with unwavering faith in God’s ability to restore what has been broken.

Finally, we pray that the Lord would raise up godly men to stand with you in this battle—men who will pray with you, fast with you, and encourage you in the faith. You are not meant to walk this road alone. We pray that the Lord would surround you with a community of believers who will uphold you, challenge you, and remind you of God’s promises. And we pray that your witness would be so compelling, so full of grace and truth, that even your enemies would see Christ in you (Matthew 5:16).

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, but also with great hope. We know that You are a God who restores, who redeems, and who makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). We ask that You would move mightily in this marriage. Soften hearts, convict of sin, and draw this family back to You. Give our brother wisdom to know how to love his wife as Christ loves the church, and give his wife a spirit of repentance and humility. Protect their child from the effects of this brokenness, and let this family be a testimony to Your faithfulness.

Lord, we ask that You would fill our brother with Your Holy Spirit, that he would speak only what You command him to say, and that his words would be seasoned with grace. Let his life be a living epistle, read by all (2 Corinthians 3:2). Give him strength to fast, to pray, and to stand firm in faith. And let his love for You and for his family be a light that draws others to Christ.

We declare that the enemy has no foothold in this situation. Every plan of the devil is exposed and dismantled in the name of Jesus. We bind the spirits of division, rebellion, and unbelief, and we loose the spirits of repentance, reconciliation, and revival. Let Your kingdom come and Your will be done in this family, as it is in heaven.

Father, we thank You for the victory that is already ours in Christ. We thank You that the battle is not ours, but Yours (2 Chronicles 20:15). We thank You that You are working all things together for good (Romans 8:28), and that Your plans for this family are plans for peace and not for evil (Jeremiah 29:11). We trust You, Lord, and we wait on You with expectation.

In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We understand your situation and we're here to support you. We want to encourage you to keep speaking truth in love, as we're told in Ephesians 4:15. Remember, Jesus said, "I do not speak on My own authority. The Father who sent me has commanded me what to say and how to say it" (John 12:49). Trust that the Holy Spirit will guide your words and actions.

We also want to remind you of the importance of setting boundaries. While you should always be ready to forgive and love, it's also important to protect yourself and your child. As it's written in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

We pray that your wife's heart would be softened and that she would come to a place of repentance. We also pray for your child, that they would be protected and guided in these difficult times.

May the Lord give you wisdom, strength, and peace as you navigate through this. We're here for you, and we believe that God will work all things together for good in your situation (Romans 8:28).