🙏 What to Say AND How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort, Isa 40:1-2; Tenderly, Hos 2:14

[Nochaeld]

What to Say and How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious Words, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort My People, Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, Isa 40:1-2; Speak to Her Heart in The Wilderness, Hosea 2:14...

Father, I'd like what Jesus said to be my prayer, "I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me commands me what to say and how to say it," John 12:49 [1]. May I speak truth the right way (in love, humility and kindness) at the right time (when one isn't tired or in the right place to receive it), Prov 25:11. Like apples of gold in settings of silver, so is the right word at the right time, Prov 25:11

I know You will not give up on my wife -- Don’t allow me to give up on the one I love and am ready and willing to forgive... But without confession and repentance, and conversion, we can only go so far -- “'Truly I tell you,' He said, 'unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,'" Matt 18:3. Lord, even YOU don't forgive people who don't confess, 1 Jn 1:9, and Your instruction to Peter in Luke is based on someone who returns to the one sinned against and says, "I repent" -- Luke 17:3-4. So help us live in an understanding way with her, and let her see to it she respects me, but as it's evident there is no fruit for You and she's "broke the yoke and burst the bond," Jer 5:5, let me now speak timely words and serve her tenderly, yet not be taken advantage of, but quietly win her over as if I were a woman with an unsaved husband, 1 Peter 3:1-9.

It was while they were ministering to the Lord and fasting -- please help me hunger and thirst for righteousness in these situation, and help others share this burden with me for her, me, our child, the entire situation and all that’s transpired, good, bad and ugly, to be turned for glory, praise and honor, Isa 58:6-14. Let us plead the cause of the widower, and defend the cause that by foolish abandonment was made to be orphaned, Jer 5:28, which if we can't visit the widower or orphan, James 1:27, we can at least pray for them and keep ourselves unstained by the world.

As the early church said, "fasting and giving lends wings to our prayers." The Truth is the same yesterday, but today and forever, Heb 13:8. Please grant powerful grace and strength within me, grant grace to humble my soul with fasting, to CONTROL THE TONGUE with SAYING TRUTH, sanctifying residual pockets of darkness with light, helping the word become flesh, as John says, John 1:14, to love You AND my NEIGHBOR (how much more my wife and children) with ALL my heart, soul, mind, will, emotions, physical strength and finances -- my thoughts, words, deeds, actions and especially my reactions -- let the word be engrafted as explained by James 1:22-23.

I've been sinned against A LOT by her and her family -- I believe the remedy of being sinned against is praying for their salvation -- again nothing's been confessed and repented of... Salvation is still needed, 2 Tim 2:3-4, repentance isn't optional, but having overlooked times of ignorance You are now commanding everyone everywhere to repent, having fixed a day of certain judgment with justice by The Man appointed, and furnished proof to everyone by raising Him from the dead, Acts 17:31-32, 2 Pet 3:9 -- but please help me say TRUTH in LOVE, Eph 4:15, "filled with GRACE and truth," John 1:14.

Place and use the love of Jesus in me to publicly and privately demonstrate true love of the gospel, Gal 3:1. Let me model it and teach it to myself, her, every family member, those near and dear and those far off and beyond to extended family, friends especially any who might consider me an enemy -- let me be a living ambassador Your love to be known and read by all people groups, everywhere, 2 Cor 3:2, “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 [1].

Do not take us out of the world, but keep us from the evil one, John 17:15. Sanctify us by the truth; Your Word is truth, John 17:17. Because I LOVE her, let me wash her with the water of the word to be a bride ready for her husband, Eph 5:25-26, 27 -- and if she could help out by reading the word and preparing herself also, Rev 19:7-8, it would be both helpful and fitting (wholly within bounds of Scripture). I'd also like to have a little respect since it's a picture of Christ and the Church Eph 5:32:33 -- hopefully we don't sit around all day, expect Christ to die for us over and over, Heb 10:26, and disrespect him and do the opposite of what he asks us, Matt 7:21, -- hopefully we don't expect him to say "how high" and don't expect to command Him to jump... We are not stronger than He, correct? Jer 5:22, 1 Cor 10:22.

Keep her, them and us from evil people, 2 Thes 3:2, temptation, Matt 6:13, sin Zeph 3:13 and the evil one, Matt 6:13. Thank you for the angels in advance -- they're real and really do get sent ahead, Heb 13, and thank You in advance for the fact "You like to make their faces change," in Jesus' Name.

 

[Nochaeld]

[1] “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 — Historical Comments: What to say (εϊπω) and how to say it (λαλήσω) -- (dicam) and (loquar), Latin Vulgate), are supposed to discriminate matter (content) and form (style of speech), as another commentator says, “My words and their manner and tone are all of them the outcome of the Father's (ἐντολὴ) command.

The word εἰπεῖν relates to the words as spoken successively; λέγειν refers to the sentiment and connection of the words.

The former relating to the SUBSTANCE, and the latter to the FORM of Jesus' utterances.

See we not that He brings His expressions with an excess of humility, that He may both win them over, and silence those who would look to persecute Him. This is why He utters words appropriate to humanity, that He may help us bridge the severity of the sayings, as being conscious that the words belong not to Him, but The Father, and are thus tailored, even suited to the weakness of the hearers.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart’s cry, brother, and we stand with you in fervent prayer before the throne of grace. Your desire to speak truth in love, to walk in humility, and to see your marriage restored to God’s design is deeply moving. The Lord sees your faithfulness, your longing for repentance, and your commitment to honor Him even in the midst of pain. We join you in seeking His will, knowing that His Word is the lamp to our feet and the light to our path.

You are right to anchor your words and actions in Christ’s example, as He said, *"For I didn’t speak on my own authority, but the Father who sent me gave me a commandment, what I should say and what I should speak"* (John 12:49). May the Holy Spirit guide your tongue to be as *"apples of gold in settings of silver"* (Proverbs 25:11), seasoned with grace and truth. But we must also address the weight of what you’ve shared—your wife’s lack of repentance, the brokenness in your marriage, and the spiritual battle raging around you.

First, we must rebuke the enemy’s lies that would tempt you to despair or bitterness. The devil seeks to destroy marriages, but God’s Word declares, *"What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate"* (Matthew 19:6). Yet we must also confront the reality that unrepentant sin creates a barrier. You rightly point to 1 John 1:9—confession and repentance are not optional for the believer. Without them, there can be no true restoration. We pray that your wife’s heart would be softened, that she would turn from any hardness, and that the Lord would grant her godly sorrow leading to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10).

Your reference to fasting is powerful. Isaiah 58:6-14 reminds us that true fasting loosens the bonds of wickedness, lifts heavy burdens, and lets the oppressed go free. As you fast and pray, we join you in pleading for your wife’s salvation, for your child’s protection, and for your own heart to remain steadfast. Fasting is not a tool to manipulate God but a means to humble ourselves before Him, aligning our will with His. May your fasting be accompanied by a hunger for righteousness, not just for your marriage, but for your own sanctification.

We must also address the matter of respect in marriage. You are right to desire it, for Scripture commands, *"Let the wife see that she respects her husband"* (Ephesians 5:33). But we must be careful not to weaponize this truth. Respect is not earned by demanding it but by living in a way that reflects Christ. Your role as a husband is to love your wife as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, patiently, and with a heart of redemption (Ephesians 5:25-27). Even if she does not respond in kind, your Christlike love may be the very thing that wins her over (1 Peter 3:1-2).

Yet we must also warn against enabling sin. You mention that your wife has "broken the yoke and burst the bonds" (Jeremiah 5:5). If she is living in unrepentant sin—whether it be hardness of heart, rebellion, or anything contrary to God’s Word—you must not compromise truth for the sake of peace. Jesus did not call us to be doormats but to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). If she is walking in disobedience, you must lovingly but firmly call her to repentance, just as the Lord disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6).

We also lift up your child in this situation. The Lord is the defender of the fatherless (Psalm 68:5), and we pray that He would surround your child with His protection, wisdom, and peace. May your child see Christ in you and grow in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Your desire to pray for your wife’s salvation is the right response to being sinned against. Jesus commanded us to *"love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you"* (Matthew 5:44). This is the heart of the gospel—redemption, not retaliation. We pray that the Lord would open her eyes to the truth, that she would repent, and that your marriage would be restored to reflect Christ and His church.

But we must also address the reality of judgment. You rightly quote Acts 17:30-31—God commands all people everywhere to repent, for He has set a day when He will judge the world in righteousness. If your wife does not know Christ, her greatest need is salvation. If she claims to be a believer but walks in unrepentant sin, she is in grave danger. We must not shrink back from this truth, for *"if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remains no more sacrifice for sins"* (Hebrews 10:26). We pray that the Lord would grant her repentance leading to life (2 Timothy 2:25-26).

We also pray for your own heart. It is easy to grow weary in doing good, but let us not grow faint (Galatians 6:9). The Lord sees your faithfulness, and He will reward it. May you be strengthened with all power according to His glorious might (Colossians 1:11), and may your words and actions be filled with the grace and truth of Christ (John 1:14).

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this brother and his marriage. Lord, You see the pain, the longing, and the faithfulness of his heart. We ask that You would move mightily in this situation, softening his wife’s heart to repentance and drawing her to Yourself. If she does not know You, Lord, save her. If she has strayed, restore her. If there is hardness, break it. If there is rebellion, humble it.

Father, we pray for this brother’s words. May they be filled with Your truth and Your love, spoken at the right time and in the right way. Guard his tongue from bitterness, frustration, or ungodly speech. Let his words be life-giving, seasoned with salt, and full of grace (Colossians 4:6). May he love his wife as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, patiently, and with a heart of redemption.

Lord, we pray for their child. Protect this little one from the effects of this brokenness. Surround them with godly influences, with Your peace, and with the knowledge of Your love. May they grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man (Luke 2:52).

Father, we ask that You would grant this brother the grace to fast and pray with a pure heart. May his fasting not be for show but for true humility and dependence on You. As he seeks Your face, reveal any areas in his own life that need repentance and growth. Let him hunger and thirst for righteousness, and may You fill him to overflowing (Matthew 5:6).

Lord, we rebuke the enemy’s schemes in this marriage. We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We pray that You would send Your angels to encamp around them, to protect and to minister (Psalm 91:11). We ask that You would expose any lies, any deception, and any ungodly influences in their lives.

Father, we pray for repentance. If there is sin in this wife’s life—whether it be hardness of heart, rebellion, or anything else—we ask that You would bring conviction. Grant her godly sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). May she turn to You with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Lord, we pray for restoration. If it is Your will, bring this marriage back together in a way that glorifies You. Let it be a testimony of Your grace, Your mercy, and Your power to redeem. But if restoration is not Your will, give this brother the strength to walk in obedience, even if it means letting go.

Finally, Lord, we pray for Your will to be done. Not our will, but Yours. May this brother trust You with the outcome, knowing that You work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). Strengthen him, encourage him, and fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above every name, the name by which we are saved and through which we have access to You. There is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). May Your kingdom come, and Your will be done, in this marriage as it is in heaven. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear your heart's cry, brother, and we stand with you in fervent prayer before the throne of grace. Your desire to speak truth in love, to walk in humility, and to see your marriage restored to God's design is deeply moving. The Lord sees your faithfulness, your longing for repentance, and your commitment to honor Him even in the midst of pain. We join you in seeking His will, knowing that His Word is the lamp to our feet and the light to our path.

You are right to anchor your words and actions in Christ's example, as He said, "For I did not speak on my own authority, but the Father who sent me gave me a commandment what I should say and what I should speak" (John 12:49). May the Holy Spirit guide your tongue to be as "apples of gold in settings of silver" (Proverbs 25:11), seasoned with grace and truth. But we must also address the weight of what you've shared - your wife's lack of repentance, the brokenness in your marriage, and the spiritual battle raging around you.

First, we must rebuke the enemy's lies that would tempt you to despair or bitterness. The devil seeks to destroy marriages, but God's Word declares, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" (Matthew 19:6). Yet we must also confront the reality that unrepentant sin creates a barrier. You rightly point to 1 John 1:9 - confession and repentance are not optional for the believer. Without them, there can be no true restoration. We pray that your wife's heart would be softened, that she would turn from any hardness, and that the Lord would grant her godly sorrow leading to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10).

Your reference to fasting is powerful. Isaiah 58:6-14 reminds us that true fasting loosens the bonds of wickedness, lifts heavy burdens, and lets the oppressed go free. As you fast and pray, we join you in pleading for your wife's salvation, for your child's protection, and for your own heart to remain steadfast. Fasting is not a tool to manipulate God but a means to humble ourselves before Him, aligning our will with His. May your fasting be accompanied by a hunger for righteousness, not just for your marriage, but for your own sanctification.

We must also address the matter of respect in marriage. You are right to desire it, for Scripture commands, "Let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). But we must be careful not to weaponize this truth. Respect is not earned by demanding it but by living in a way that reflects Christ. Your role as a husband is to love your wife as Christ loved the church - sacrificially, patiently, and with a heart of redemption (Ephesians 5:25-27). Even if she does not respond in kind, your Christlike love may be the very thing that wins her over (1 Peter 3:1-2).

Yet we must also warn against enabling sin. You mention that your wife has "broken the yoke and burst the bonds" (Jeremiah 5:5). If she is living in unrepentant sin - whether it be hardness of heart, rebellion, or anything contrary to God's Word - you must not compromise truth for the sake of peace. Jesus did not call us to be doormats but to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). If she is walking in disobedience, you must lovingly but firmly call her to repentance, just as the Lord disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6).

We also lift up your child in this situation. The Lord is the defender of the fatherless (Psalm 68:5), and we pray that He would surround your child with His protection, wisdom, and peace. May your child see Christ in you and grow in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Your desire to pray for your wife's salvation is the right response to being sinned against. Jesus commanded us, "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you" (Matthew 5:44). This is the heart of the gospel - redemption, not retaliation. We pray that the Lord would open her eyes to the truth, that she would repent, and that your marriage would be restored to reflect Christ and His church.

But we must also address the reality of judgment. You rightly quote Acts 17:30-31 - God commands all people everywhere to repent, for He has set a day when He will judge the world in righteousness. If your wife does not know Christ, her greatest need is salvation. If she claims to be a believer but walks in unrepentant sin, she is in grave danger. We must not shrink back from this truth, for "if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remains no more sacrifice for sins" (Hebrews 10:26). We pray that the Lord would grant her repentance leading to life (2 Timothy 2:25-26).

We also pray for your own heart. It is easy to grow weary in doing good, but let us not grow faint (Galatians 6:9). The Lord sees your faithfulness, and He will reward it. May you be strengthened with all power according to His glorious might (Colossians 1:11), and may your words and actions be filled with the grace and truth of Christ (John 1:14).

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this brother and his marriage. Lord, You see the pain, the longing, and the faithfulness of his heart. We ask that You would move mightily in this situation, softening his wife's heart to repentance and drawing her to Yourself. If she does not know You, Lord, save her. If she has strayed, restore her. If there is hardness, break it. If there is rebellion, humble it.

Father, we pray for this brother's words. May they be filled with Your truth and Your love, spoken at the right time and in the right way. Guard his tongue from bitterness, frustration, or ungodly speech. Let his words be life-giving, seasoned with salt, and full of grace (Colossians 4:6). May he love his wife as Christ loved the church - sacrificially, patiently, and with a heart of redemption.

Lord, we pray for their child. Protect this little one from the effects of this brokenness. Surround them with godly influences, with Your peace, and with the knowledge of Your love. May they grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man (Luke 2:52).

Father, we ask that You would grant this brother the grace to fast and pray with a pure heart. May his fasting not be for show but for true humility and dependence on You. As he seeks Your face, reveal any areas in his own life that need repentance and growth. Let him hunger and thirst for righteousness, and may You fill him to overflowing (Matthew 5:6).

Lord, we rebuke the enemy's schemes in this marriage. We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We pray that You would send Your angels to encamp around them, to protect and to minister (Psalm 91:11). We ask that You would expose any lies, any deception, and any ungodly influences in their lives.

Father, we pray for repentance. If there is sin in this wife's life - whether it be hardness of heart, rebellion, or anything else - we ask that You would bring conviction. Grant her godly sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). May she turn to You with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Lord, we pray for restoration. If it is Your will, bring this marriage back together in a way that glorifies You. Let it be a testimony of Your grace, Your mercy, and Your power to redeem. But if restoration is not Your will, give this brother the strength to walk in obedience, even if it means letting go.

Finally, Lord, we pray for Your will to be done. Not our will, but Yours. May this brother trust You with the outcome, knowing that You work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). Strengthen him, encourage him, and fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above every name, the name by which we are saved and through which we have access to You. There is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). May Your kingdom come, and Your will be done, in this marriage as it is in heaven. Amen.

 

[Stitcher]

I have prayed for this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen