🙏 What to Say and How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort, Isa 40:1-2, Peace, 1 Cor 7:15

[Nochaeld]

Father, I ask what for Jesus said to be my prayer, "I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me commands me what to say and how to say it," John 12:49 [1]. Like apples of gold in settings of silver, so is the right word at the right time, Prov 25:11

As a man I forgive and pray for my female spouse's salvation, Rom 10:1, but after years, am hearing counsel from pastors and sensing You are shifting gears, 1 Cor 7:15, Isa 42:9, and ask for wisdom in all that, James 1:5, Col 1:9, Col 4:12, Phil 1:9-10. Without confession, repentance, and any conversion, we can only go so far -- “'Truly I tell you,' He said, 'unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,'" Matt 18:3. It's evident there is no fruit for You has "broke the yoke and burst the bond," Jer 5:5...

It was while they were ministering to the Lord and fasting, Acts 13:2 -- please help me hunger and thirst for righteousness in these situation, and help others share this burden with me for ###, me, our child, the entire situation and all that’s transpired, good, bad and ugly, to be turned for glory, praise and honor, Isa 58:6-14, turned together for good, Rom 8:28. Let us plead the cause of the widower, and defend the cause of real humans that by foolish abandonment was made to be orphaned, Jer 5:28, which if we can't visit the widower or orphan, James 1:27, we can at least pray for them...

Please grant powerful grace and strength within me, grant grace to humble my soul with fasting, to control the tongue while speaking truth, sanctifying residual pockets of darkness with light, helping the word become flesh, as John says, John 1:14, to love You AND my NEIGHBOR (how much more my wife and children) with ALL my heart, soul, mind, will, emotions, physical strength and finances -- my thoughts, words, deeds, actions and especially my reactions -- let the word be engrafted as explained by James 1:22-23.

I believe the remedy of being sinned against is praying for their salvation -- again nothing's been confessed and repented of... I plainly state for the record I forgive everyone everything, and done as much as I can to be at peace with everyone, Rom 12:18. Salvation is still needed, 2 Tim 2:3-4, repentance isn't optional, but having overlooked times of ignorance You are now commanding everyone everywhere to repent, having fixed a day of certain judgment with justice by The Man appointed, and furnished proof to everyone by raising Him from the dead, Acts 17:31-32, 2 Pet 3:9 -- but help me walk in LOVE, Eph 5:2, let me be "filled with GRACE and truth," John 1:14.

Place and use the love of Jesus in me to publicly and privately demonstrate true love of the gospel, Gal 3:1. Let me model it and teach it to myself, ###, every family member, those near and dear and those far off and beyond to extended family, friends especially any who might consider me an enemy -- let me be a living ambassador Your love to be known and read by all people groups, everywhere, 2 Cor 3:2, “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 [1].

Do not take us out of the world, but keep us from the evil one, John 17:15. Sanctify us by the truth; Your Word is truth, John 17:17. Keep ###, them and us from evil people, 2 Thes 3:2, temptation, Matt 6:13, sin Zeph 3:13 and the evil one, Matt 6:13. Thank you for the angels in advance -- they're real and really do get sent ahead, Heb 13, and thank You in advance for the fact "You like to make their faces change," in Jesus' Name.

 

[Articles]

We come before the Lord with a heavy yet hopeful heart, lifting up this situation with the weight of scriptural truth and the tenderness of Christ’s love. The struggle you describe—a marriage where one spouse remains unrepentant and unsaved—is a burden no believer should carry alone. Yet we rejoice that you have not grown weary in praying for her salvation, for this is the very heart of God (1 Timothy 2:1-4). The Lord hears the cries of the righteous, and His arm is not too short to save (Isaiah 59:1).

You rightly stand on the promise of 1 Corinthians 7:15, where Paul acknowledges that if an unbelieving spouse departs, the believing spouse is not bound in such circumstances. But this is not a license for bitterness or hasty action—rather, it is a call to trust God’s sovereignty even in brokenness. The yoke has indeed been broken (Jeremiah 5:5), and we must ask: Has this been an act of God’s mercy to free you from a union that cannot glorify Him, or is there still hope for restoration? Only the Lord knows, and we must seek His wisdom with fasting and prayer, as the early church did in Acts 13:2. Fasting is not a manipulation of God but a humbling of ourselves before Him, aligning our will with His (Isaiah 58:6-14). Let us fast not for our own desires but for His glory, that He might turn this situation for good (Romans 8:28).

Yet we must also address the reality of sin. You have forgiven, as Christ commands (Ephesians 4:32), but forgiveness does not negate the need for repentance. Salvation is not merely a prayer—it is a transformation (Matthew 18:3). Without confession and turning from sin, there can be no true conversion. The Lord is patient, not wanting anyone to perish (2 Peter 3:9), but His patience does not mean indifference. He commands all people everywhere to repent (Acts 17:30), and we must not soften this truth. If your spouse remains unrepentant, we must ask: Is this a marriage that can honor God, or has the Lord allowed this brokenness to protect His child from further harm?

We also lift up your child, for the wounds of a broken home are deep. The Lord is near to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5), and He calls us to defend their cause (Jeremiah 5:28). You are right to plead for them, for they are innocent in this. May the Lord surround them with godly influences, and may you be a father who points them to Christ in both word and deed.

Now, let us pray:

Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, the only name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). We thank You for this brother’s faithfulness in prayer and his desire to honor You in this difficult season. Lord, we ask for wisdom—pure, peaceable, gentle wisdom (James 3:17)—to know how to walk in this situation. If there is still hope for restoration, let it be according to Your will. If not, give him the strength to accept Your sovereignty and the grace to walk in love, not bitterness.

Father, we pray for his wife. Soften her heart, Lord. Break the hardness that resists Your Spirit. Let her see the emptiness of a life without You and the beauty of repentance. If she will not turn, protect this brother and his child from further harm. Let no root of bitterness spring up in his heart (Hebrews 12:15), but fill him with Your peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Lord, we ask for Your grace to fast and pray with purpose, not as a ritual but as a surrender to Your will. Let his words be gracious, seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6), and let his life be a testimony of Your love. May he love his neighbor—especially his family—with the love of Christ, laying down his life for them (John 15:13).

We pray protection over this family. Guard them from the evil one, from temptation, and from the schemes of the enemy. Send Your angels to encamp around them (Psalm 34:7), and let Your face shine upon them (Numbers 6:25). Sanctify them by Your truth, for Your Word is truth (John 17:17).

Finally, Lord, let this brother be a light in the darkness. Let his life preach the gospel louder than his words (Galatians 3:1). May those who see him see Christ, and may Your name be glorified in all things.

We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. Amen.

 

[Nochaeld]

[1] “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 — Historical Comments: What to say (εϊπω) and how to say it (λαλήσω) -- (dicam) and (loquar), Latin Vulgate, are supposed to discriminate matter (content) and form (style of speech), as another commentator says, “My words and their manner and tone are all of them the outcome of the Father's (ἐντολὴ) command.

The word εἰπεῖν relates to the words as spoken successively; λέγειν refers to the sentiment and connection of the words.

The former relating to the SUBSTANCE, and the latter to the FORM of Jesus' utterances.

See we not that He brings His expressions with an excess of humility, that He may both win them over, and silence those who would look to persecute Him. This is why He utters words appropriate to humanity, that He may help us bridge the severity of the sayings, as being conscious that the words belong not to Him, but The Father, and are thus tailored, even suited to the weakness of the hearers, Chrysostom, 347-407

 

[hostadmin]

We stand with you, dear brother, in this trial of faith and love. Your commitment to pray for your spouse's salvation, even after years of patience and counsel, is commendable. It echoes the heart of our Heavenly Father, who desires none to perish but all to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

In this, we find comfort in the words of Isaiah 40:1-2, "Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for." God sees your burden, and He is faithful to walk with you through it.

We also take heart in the promise of 1 Corinthians 7:15, "But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." While this verse acknowledges the freedom of the believing spouse, it also underscores the importance of living in peace, which is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

Let us, like the early church, seek God through fasting and prayer (Acts 13:2). Let us humble ourselves, control our tongues, and sanctify our souls (1 Peter 3:4). Let us speak the truth in love, growing in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).

May we also remember the words of Jesus, "I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment about what to say and what to speak. And I know that his commandment is eternal life. What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has told me" (John 12:49-50, ESV).

Let us trust in the wisdom of God, who works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Let us love our neighbor as ourselves, especially our family, and let us lay down our lives for them, as Christ laid down His life for us (John 15:13).

We pray that God would soften your spouse's heart, that she would see the emptiness of a life without Him and turn to Him in repentance. We pray for peace and protection over your family, and we ask that you would be a light in the darkness, pointing others to the love and salvation found in Jesus Christ.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.