Chrysostom
Beloved of All
The account of your sufferings cuts to the heart, and the weight you bear would crush any soul. But I must say plainly: the most dangerous enemy you face this week is not the bills, the broken car, or the sleepless nights. It is the voice that whispers despair. That wicked spirit never gives up hope of your destruction. He has seen you rescued from the alligator, from the nickel, from the car wreck, and he rages all the more. But do you not see? Each deliverance was a sign that God has not abandoned you. Why would He save you from death so many times only to let you perish now in despair? He saved you that you might live, and live for Him.
To sin is evil, but to despair is far worse. For sin may be amended by repentance, but despair slams the door on repentance and healing. The one who has learned to despond fails to apply the remedies from repentance, and so the wound festers. You are right to see the hand of grace in your past escapes, it was by the mercy of God that the alligator did not take you, that the nickel was coughed up, that you survived the car and the fall. That same mercy is offered to you this very hour. As long as you draw breath, it is still “today,” and today holds hope. The Apostle says, “Exhort one another daily, while it is called today,” meaning even if a man has sinned, as long as he lives, he has hope. Let no one despair while he lives.
You have endured unspeakable harm from those who should have guarded you. The wounds of childhood run deep, and I do not dismiss them. But remember the publican, that sordid tax-collector, whom Christ called and healed. No past, no habit, no affliction is beyond the Great Physician’s skill. You speak of ECT and possible damage; yet even a damaged mind can be restored by the One who made it. Do not let the devil convince you that your case is hopeless. He knows you have survived much, and now he seeks to push you over the edge. But his lies cannot stand before the truth of Christ.
What you contemplate is not a crash that ends pain but a leap into the abyss from which there is no return. You would trade temporary misery for eternal woe. The body you speak of harming is not yours to destroy; it is a temple. The Apostle bids us make provision for the flesh, but not to fulfill its lusts. Caring for your body means seeking sleep in a safe posture, eating to sustain life, not inviting death. To court an apnea attack by lying flat deliberately is to tempt God, not to rest in His care. Do not do this.
I urge you, do not give way to the kamikaze spirit. Instead, cry out as the psalmist, “O Lord, deliver my soul.” Come to the church; let us pray together. Your temporal needs are great, but even if they crash, your soul remains. The Lord who fed Elijah by ravens can supply your need. The widow’s oil did not run out; the loaves multiplied. Trust that He who delivered you from the alligator can deliver you from this week. But first, cast off despair. The devil wants you to believe there are no resources, no means, no scenarios. Yet with God, all things are possible.
Our Lord has gone up on high, leading captivity captive. He came to preach deliverance to the captives. You are captive to debt, to trauma, to despair. But the Captive-taker can set you free. Do not fall into the enemy’s snare of unbelief. Let there not be an evil heart of unbelief. Cling to hope, for today is the day. I will pray for you; the church will pray. But you must take the first step: renounce the thought of self-murder, and cast yourself upon the mercy of God. He has not saved you from so many deaths to let you perish now. Live.
To sin is evil, but to despair is far worse. For sin may be amended by repentance, but despair slams the door on repentance and healing. The one who has learned to despond fails to apply the remedies from repentance, and so the wound festers. You are right to see the hand of grace in your past escapes, it was by the mercy of God that the alligator did not take you, that the nickel was coughed up, that you survived the car and the fall. That same mercy is offered to you this very hour. As long as you draw breath, it is still “today,” and today holds hope. The Apostle says, “Exhort one another daily, while it is called today,” meaning even if a man has sinned, as long as he lives, he has hope. Let no one despair while he lives.
You have endured unspeakable harm from those who should have guarded you. The wounds of childhood run deep, and I do not dismiss them. But remember the publican, that sordid tax-collector, whom Christ called and healed. No past, no habit, no affliction is beyond the Great Physician’s skill. You speak of ECT and possible damage; yet even a damaged mind can be restored by the One who made it. Do not let the devil convince you that your case is hopeless. He knows you have survived much, and now he seeks to push you over the edge. But his lies cannot stand before the truth of Christ.
What you contemplate is not a crash that ends pain but a leap into the abyss from which there is no return. You would trade temporary misery for eternal woe. The body you speak of harming is not yours to destroy; it is a temple. The Apostle bids us make provision for the flesh, but not to fulfill its lusts. Caring for your body means seeking sleep in a safe posture, eating to sustain life, not inviting death. To court an apnea attack by lying flat deliberately is to tempt God, not to rest in His care. Do not do this.
I urge you, do not give way to the kamikaze spirit. Instead, cry out as the psalmist, “O Lord, deliver my soul.” Come to the church; let us pray together. Your temporal needs are great, but even if they crash, your soul remains. The Lord who fed Elijah by ravens can supply your need. The widow’s oil did not run out; the loaves multiplied. Trust that He who delivered you from the alligator can deliver you from this week. But first, cast off despair. The devil wants you to believe there are no resources, no means, no scenarios. Yet with God, all things are possible.
Our Lord has gone up on high, leading captivity captive. He came to preach deliverance to the captives. You are captive to debt, to trauma, to despair. But the Captive-taker can set you free. Do not fall into the enemy’s snare of unbelief. Let there not be an evil heart of unbelief. Cling to hope, for today is the day. I will pray for you; the church will pray. But you must take the first step: renounce the thought of self-murder, and cast yourself upon the mercy of God. He has not saved you from so many deaths to let you perish now. Live.
