Silas
Beloved of All
Your prayer is honest and God sees the fear in it. You are asking not to be given something you do not feel ready for, and you are wishing that if a child is to be given, it would be given to someone who is longing for one. That honesty is a good place to start, because God hears the cry of a humble heart, and His first word to a fearful heart is fear not.
Scripture teaches that the fear of the Lord is to hate evil and to love what God loves, and that keeping His commands in the heart brings life and peace. Wisdom says to take hold of instruction and not let go, for it is life itself, and to avoid the path that leads to trouble. That means not just avoiding the consequences you fear, but turning away from the way that brings that fear. Do not go down that road, do not linger near it, turn from it and run from it. The world will tell you that living together or giving yourself sexually outside the lifelong covenant of marriage between a man and a woman is normal, but that way robs peace and brings the very anxiety you are feeling now. Do not envy that way and do not choose it. God calls His people to be set apart, not shaped by the world but changed by the renewing of the mind, to be holy because He is holy.
You also need more than trying harder to be good. For a long time many people try to relate to God on the basis of their own efforts, and they never find peace. Peace comes when you understand grace. You are not blessed because you have been good enough, and you are not forsaken because you have failed. You are redeemed not with money or with anything you can do, but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, who alone saves. Through faith in Him you can be adopted as a child of God and cry to Him as Father. Everyone who is led by the Spirit of God belongs to Him as a son or daughter, not as a slave living in fear.
God is sovereign over the womb. Every life is formed by His hand and has purpose, even when we feel unready and afraid. The Bible speaks of waiting and travailing like a woman in labor, groaning for what is not yet seen, and of hoping with patience for what God will do. That is the posture He invites you into now, to wait on Him rather than making Him wait until you have nowhere else to turn. Those who wait on Him are blessed. If you are not pregnant, receive that as mercy and as a clear call to walk in a new way. If you are pregnant, know that God has allowed life to begin and He will give grace for what He allows, and that child, if given, is not an accident but a person made in His image to be loved and protected.
So bring this whole situation to Jesus in repentance and faith. Confess where you have walked outside His design for purity, and receive His forgiveness and cleansing. Ask Him to make you His child through faith, and to teach you to walk worthy of that calling. Choose from this day to honor Him with your body, which means reserving sexual intimacy for marriage alone and stepping away from any living arrangement or relationship that encourages sin. Take hold of His instruction, keep His word in your heart, and trust His love to provide what is best in His time.
I will pray for you, that God will give you peace that comes from His grace, wisdom to know what is true about your body, and courage to walk in holiness. Ask Him to confirm what is true, to calm your fear, to help you wait patiently on Him, and to lead you in the way of life. Seek godly counsel and medical care soon so you are not alone in this, and keep crying out to your Father who hears and who is faithful to complete His good work in you.
Scripture teaches that the fear of the Lord is to hate evil and to love what God loves, and that keeping His commands in the heart brings life and peace. Wisdom says to take hold of instruction and not let go, for it is life itself, and to avoid the path that leads to trouble. That means not just avoiding the consequences you fear, but turning away from the way that brings that fear. Do not go down that road, do not linger near it, turn from it and run from it. The world will tell you that living together or giving yourself sexually outside the lifelong covenant of marriage between a man and a woman is normal, but that way robs peace and brings the very anxiety you are feeling now. Do not envy that way and do not choose it. God calls His people to be set apart, not shaped by the world but changed by the renewing of the mind, to be holy because He is holy.
You also need more than trying harder to be good. For a long time many people try to relate to God on the basis of their own efforts, and they never find peace. Peace comes when you understand grace. You are not blessed because you have been good enough, and you are not forsaken because you have failed. You are redeemed not with money or with anything you can do, but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, who alone saves. Through faith in Him you can be adopted as a child of God and cry to Him as Father. Everyone who is led by the Spirit of God belongs to Him as a son or daughter, not as a slave living in fear.
God is sovereign over the womb. Every life is formed by His hand and has purpose, even when we feel unready and afraid. The Bible speaks of waiting and travailing like a woman in labor, groaning for what is not yet seen, and of hoping with patience for what God will do. That is the posture He invites you into now, to wait on Him rather than making Him wait until you have nowhere else to turn. Those who wait on Him are blessed. If you are not pregnant, receive that as mercy and as a clear call to walk in a new way. If you are pregnant, know that God has allowed life to begin and He will give grace for what He allows, and that child, if given, is not an accident but a person made in His image to be loved and protected.
So bring this whole situation to Jesus in repentance and faith. Confess where you have walked outside His design for purity, and receive His forgiveness and cleansing. Ask Him to make you His child through faith, and to teach you to walk worthy of that calling. Choose from this day to honor Him with your body, which means reserving sexual intimacy for marriage alone and stepping away from any living arrangement or relationship that encourages sin. Take hold of His instruction, keep His word in your heart, and trust His love to provide what is best in His time.
I will pray for you, that God will give you peace that comes from His grace, wisdom to know what is true about your body, and courage to walk in holiness. Ask Him to confirm what is true, to calm your fear, to help you wait patiently on Him, and to lead you in the way of life. Seek godly counsel and medical care soon so you are not alone in this, and keep crying out to your Father who hears and who is faithful to complete His good work in you.
