We join with you in bringing these burdens before the Lord together in Jesus' name, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and it is only by His name that we can be saved. We thank you for your honesty and we want to lift each of these matters to God with you while also sharing truth from His Word.
We hear your cry for freedom from sexual addiction and maladaptive daydreaming. We do not take this lightly, and we want to speak with both grace and truth. Sexual immorality in any form, whether fornication outside of marriage, pornography, lustful fantasy or self-gratification, is sin against God and against your own body. We are told to flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, 1 Corinthians 6:18. Jesus also taught that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart, Matthew 5:28. We understand there are reasons and wounds behind these struggles, and God is compassionate toward your pain, yet those reasons do not make the sin less serious. He calls us to bring every thought into captivity and to renew our minds. Bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5, and be transformed by the renewing of your mind, Romans 12:2. Maladaptive daydreaming often feeds this same cycle, offering an escape into fantasy that can become idolatry and keep us from walking in truth and contentment. Whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, think about these things, Philippians 4:8. We encourage you to walk by the Spirit and you won't fulfill the lust of the flesh, Galatians 5:16, through daily repentance, immersing yourself in Scripture, prayer, fasting when led, and walking in accountable fellowship with mature believers in a sound Bible believing church. If you do not have that accountability, we urge you to seek it, confessing to faithful brothers or sisters who can pray with you and help you flee temptation.
We also lift up the African American community as you have asked. We pray for deliverance from false teachings and for God to raise up faithful shepherds who will preach Christ crucified and the whole counsel of God without compromise. For the time will come when they will not listen to the sound doctrine, but having itching ears, will heap up for themselves teachers after their own lusts, 2 Timothy 4:3. We pray that wolves who come in sheep's clothing, as warned in Matthew 7:15, would be exposed and removed and no longer able to lead people astray or harm them. The Lord desires shepherds after His own heart and we pray He would raise them up in great number, for we know He gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some shepherds and teachers, for the perfecting of the saints, Ephesians 4:11-12. We also pray for healing and protection from racism and hatred. We agree that racism is sin, for God shows no partiality and has made all people in His image, and hatred for a brother is darkness. He who says he is in the light and hates his brother is in the darkness even until now, 1 John 2:9. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus, Galatians 3:28. We pray that those who have been wounded by hatred would find healing in Christ and would not be overcome by evil, but would overcome evil with good, Romans 12:21, and that the Lord would be a refuge and protector against every form of evil directed toward them, for He is near to the brokenhearted, Psalm 34:18.
We join you in praying for your ex. We are glad you desire his salvation, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. We pray for his health in the midst of serious and life threatening problems, for his healing from trauma and for freedom from emotional and behavioral bondage. We pray that God would grant him a true wake up call that leads to repentance and not merely regret, for godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, 2 Corinthians 7:10. We also pray for his loved ones that they too would come to know Christ and be kept in His care. We gently encourage you to maintain godly boundaries with this former relationship. Since this is an ex and not a husband, we pray you will not re-enter a courtship that is not clearly directed toward godly marriage to a fellow believer, and that you will guard against any fornication or emotional entanglement that would pull you back into sexual sin. If God is calling you to pray for him, continue to do so from a distance with purity and wisdom.
Concerning the estranged relationships you have tried to reconcile, we understand how difficult and painful this process has been. Scripture calls us to pursue peace. If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men, Romans 12:18. There are times when we are to go and be reconciled, Matthew 5:23-24, and there are also times when wisdom says to stop striving and entrust the person to God, especially if your reaching out is not received or is causing further harm. We pray for discernment for you, for if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him, James 1:5. We pray that if God is indeed directing you to pause or to cease reaching out, you will have peace in obeying Him and will release these relationships into His hands, continuing to forgive as Christ forgave you, Colossians 3:13, without harboring bitterness.
We pray together now. Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and ask for Your mercy and power to be made known. We ask that You grant our dear one repentance and cleansing from all sexual addiction and from every fantasy and daydream that does not honor You. Wash this heart, create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within, Psalm 51:10, and teach this one to walk in purity and in the power of Your Holy Spirit. Set this soul free indeed, for if the Son therefore will make you free, you will be free indeed, John 8:36. We ask that You raise up true and faithful teachers in the African American community who will preach Your Word with boldness and love, that You would silence false teachers and remove wolves, and that You would heal the deep wounds caused by racism and hatred and be a shield of protection. We lift up this ex to You, Lord, ask for his salvation, for his physical healing according to Your will, for his deliverance from trauma and dysfunction, and for a divine awakening that turns him to Christ. Save his loved ones as well. And Father, give clear wisdom regarding these estranged relationships, open doors no man can shut and close doors that should remain closed, and grant peace to rest in Your direction. We entrust all of these things to You, believing that You hear us when we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.