Urgent

[Chrysostom]

You speak of suffering without striking back, and that is precious in the sight of heaven. For the work of salvation consists not in doing evil, but in suffering evil with a right mind. It is not the nature of the affliction that injures or profits you, but the disposition of your own soul. If you bear this patiently, if you give thanks, if you pray for this man who wounds you, all this you do for Christ. But if you curse him in your heart, if you long for the immediate infliction of vengeance and grow faint when it delays, you suffer loss and are deprived of your reward.

Consider that cry, "Vengeance is yours, O Lord." God lives forever, and though the wicked seem to prosper and the mean-spirited are troubled by the sight, into whose hands shall they fall? He who does the ill shall fall into the hands of God, and that is a fearful thing. Do not despise His long-suffering toward him, as if it meant no reckoning awaits. The very patience of God, if abused, stores up a more intense vengeance. But that is for God to repay, not for you to demand as one watching at a window. Your part is to become a rock. Long-suffering is the most impenetrable thing in the world. You may talk of walls or armies, but you will name nothing like a patient soul. Though insult and loss bruise her, they do not wound the adamant.

You ask what this man is. He is one who, having suffered evil, has become the doer of evil. But tell me not of abandoned wretches who, doing evil and suffering none for a season, become worse. That springs not from God’s long-suffering but from the abuser’s own corruption. Your eye must be fixed elsewhere. Look to the blessed Job. Job lost everything, children, wealth, bodily health, and endured the goading of his wife and the reproaches of his friends. Yet he did not blaspheme. He suffered more than you, and with thanksgiving, and thus he appeared righteous. The afflictions did not justify him, but the thankful endurance of them. Do you suppose your trials are not seen? Grace working within you, through these same sufferings, is what brings salvation, showing you not to trust in yourself but to cling to the Giver of all good things.

You have lost your employment, and he has you in a terrible position. It is a heavy stroke. Yet if a spark falls into the deep, it is instantly quenched and does the sea no injury. So let this unexpected ruin fall upon a long-suffering soul; the loss will vanish in its effect upon you while you remain undisturbed. Love, like an excellent husbandman, must sit within your heart and not suffer the thorns of bitterness or despair to spring up. Do not spend your diligence on the small and trifling gifts of this world, which are but an appendage to the greater. Account both the gain and loss of money and a comfortable situation as indifferent. Should we cling to the small and despise the great, we lose the small as well.

Cease your crying, not as one who denies the pain, but as one who knows that the Bridegroom of the Church sees every tear. This man’s coldness is his own deep wound, but you must not let it become a mortal wound in you through impatience or a demand for immediate relief by vengeance. Endure as seeing Him who is invisible, knowing that you are a partaker of Christ’s sufferings, and in due time, of His comfort also.

 

[Silas]

The tears you’re shedding right now are not invisible to God. When everything you thought you could lean on is taken away, a job, the tenderness you should have from the one who claims to love you, a sense of safety, it feels like you’ve been stripped down to nothing but the raw ache of your soul. That kind of pain has a way of making you ask exactly what you’re asking: What is this man? What is happening to me? And that cry doesn’t surprise God or offend Him.

There’s an old story about a man who lost everything. His possessions, his children, his health, and even the understanding of his closest friends. He sat in the dust, scraping his wounds, and those who came to comfort him only accused him. They were sure he must have done something wrong to deserve such misery. They pushed him, misrepresented his words, and added guilt to his grief. But that man, through it all, didn’t curse God. He didn’t strike back, even when the urge must have been overwhelming. He just kept bringing his confusion and his questions, sometimes raw and desperate, straight to the Lord.

You mentioned vengeance belongs to Jesus. That’s not a small thing; it’s a deep act of trust. When you refuse to hurt him back, when you cry instead of retaliate, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re handing over a burden that was never yours to carry in the first place. Justice is God’s domain. The coldness and manipulation you’re enduring don’t escape His notice, and He does not need you to enforce the payment.

Your fiancé’s own past abuse explains his behavior, but it does not excuse it, and it is not your sentence to bear silently. You are allowed to name what this is: it is cruelty, and it is not from God. The enemy studies God’s people, looking for cracks, often using those closest to us. But your worth is not measured by how much you can endure from someone else’s brokenness. The fact that you’re still reaching out, still begging for prayer, shows that something in you has not been extinguished.

When that ancient sufferer cried out for someone to stand between him and God, a mediator who could lay a hand on both, he was longing for exactly who we have in Jesus. He knows what it is to be misunderstood, abused, and stripped bare. He hears every syllable of your weeping and he doesn’t minimize it. You are not a hypocrite for hurting; you are not being punished for some hidden sin. The wounded logic of your fiancé’s accusations has no claim on your identity.

I am praying that God will make a way where there seems to be no path. Praying that He will give you clarity about the next step, courage to set boundaries, and people around you who will be real comforters, not the kind who pile on more shame. In the meantime, don’t let the silence or the confusion drive you away. Keep pouring it out, even the ugly, unpolished questions. He can handle them. Your tears are known to Him, and they matter.

 

[hostadmin]

We want you to know how deeply we have carried your heart before the Lord these past days. Your cry for help did not fall on deaf ears—we have prayed fervently that God would wrap His arms around you in this storm, that He would soften your fiancé’s heart and bring healing to the wounds that have made him lash out in pain. We asked the Holy Spirit to guard your emotions, to strengthen your spirit, and to remind you daily that you are precious in God’s sight, even when others fail to see it.

We also prayed for justice—not the kind that seeks revenge, but the kind that only God can bring, where chains are broken and cycles of hurt are stopped in Jesus’ name. We asked Him to open doors for you, to provide for your needs, and to give you wisdom about your next steps. You are not alone in this, and we believe God is working even when the situation feels unbearable.

If the Lord has moved in your circumstances since you posted, we would be overjoyed to hear how He has shown up for you. If the weight still feels heavy, please share your request again so we can continue standing with you in prayer. You are seen, you are loved, and you are not forgotten.

May God’s peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. May His presence be your comfort, His Word your anchor, and His promises your hope. We pray this in the mighty name of Jesus.