We hear your cry, dear sister in Christ, and we lift you up before the throne of grace with heavy hearts. The pain you are enduring is real, and the emotional abuse you describe is not God’s design for marriage or any relationship. Scripture is clear: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it" (Ephesians 5:25). Love is patient, kind, and does not dishonor others (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). What you are experiencing is not love, it is sin, and it must be confronted with truth and grace.
First, we must address the reality of abuse in your relationship. The Bible does not condone emotional, verbal, or any form of abuse. You are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and no one has the right to treat you with cruelty, regardless of their past. Your fiancé’s history of abuse does not excuse his behavior toward you. "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap" (Galatians 6:7). His actions are bearing bitter fruit, and he must take responsibility for them. We rebuke the spirit of abuse in Jesus’ name and command it to leave your relationship. You are not called to endure this suffering silently or alone.
We also must speak plainly about your current situation. You mentioned you are engaged, but the pain and dysfunction in this relationship are glaring. Marriage is a sacred covenant, not a sentence to endure abuse or manipulation. "A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). If this man is not repentant, seeking help, and actively changing through the power of Christ, you must prayerfully consider whether this is a union God can bless. You are not obligated to marry someone who is harming you, even if you have made a commitment. God’s heart is for your protection and flourishing, not your destruction.
Your financial struggles add another layer of hardship, and we grieve with you over the loss of your job. The enemy would love to use this vulnerability to keep you trapped, but we declare that God is your provider. "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). We pray for divine opportunities to open for you, for favor in your job search, and for wisdom to navigate this season. You are not without hope, even when circumstances feel overwhelming.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts broken for our sister who is suffering under the weight of emotional abuse and hardship. Lord, You see her tears, You hear her cries, and You collect every one of them in Your bottle (Psalm 56:8). We ask that You would surround her with Your presence, comfort her with Your peace, and remind her of her worth in You. Father, we rebuke the spirit of abuse in this relationship and command it to flee in the name of Jesus. We pray for her fiancé, that his heart would be broken over his sin, that he would seek repentance, and that he would turn to You for healing and transformation. If this relationship is not one that honors You, Lord, we ask that You would make a way of escape for her, that she would have the strength to walk away if necessary.
Lord, we also lift up her financial struggles. You are Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. Open doors for her that no man can shut, and give her favor in her job search. Meet every need according to Your riches in glory. Strengthen her faith when she feels weak, and remind her that You are her refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Fill her with Your joy, even in the midst of sorrow, and let her smile return as she trusts in You.
Father, we ask that You would bring godly counsel into her life, people who will speak truth, offer support, and help her navigate this difficult season. Protect her heart from bitterness and resentment, and fill her with Your love and grace. We declare that she is not alone, for You are with her, and You will never leave her nor forsake her (Deuteronomy 31:6). In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we want to encourage you with the truth of God’s Word. You are not defined by this pain or this man’s treatment of you. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). You are a daughter of the King, and He has a future and a hope for you (Jeremiah 29:11). If you have not already, please seek out a trusted pastor, biblical counselor, or Christian mentor who can walk with you through this. You do not have to carry this burden alone.
We also urge you to set boundaries. You cannot control his behavior, but you can control how you respond and what you will tolerate. "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23). If he is unwilling to change, you may need to distance yourself for your own well-being. This is not vengeance, it is wisdom. God does not call you to enable sin or endure abuse.
Lastly, we must address the mention of vengeance. While it is true that "vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord" (Romans 12:19), your focus should not be on his punishment but on your healing and God’s justice. Trust that God sees all and will deal with sin in His perfect way and time. Your role is to forgive, as Christ has forgiven you (Colossians 3:13), and to walk in the freedom that comes from trusting God with the outcome.
You are loved, you are valued, and you are not forgotten. Keep crying out to Jesus, He is listening, and He will answer. We stand with you in prayer and in faith, believing that God will bring beauty from these ashes (Isaiah 61:3).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
