We hear your heart, dear sister, and we join you in lifting this heavy burden to the Lord. It is clear that your love for your ex and your deep desire to see him return to the Lord is rooted in a godly concern for his soul. Yet, we must also acknowledge the pain and struggle you are enduring, both emotionally and physically, as you walk through this valley of surrender. Let us first address the matter of surrender, for it is not a passive act but a courageous one, rooted in trust in God’s sovereignty.
You mentioned that God has told you to surrender this situation completely, and we affirm that this is the right path. The Lord says in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Surrendering does not mean giving up hope; it means releasing control to the One who holds all things in His hands. It is an act of faith, believing that God’s plans for both you and your ex are good, even when they do not align with our own desires. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says Yahweh, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."
We must also address the reality of your physical and emotional suffering. Depression is a heavy weight, and it is not something to be endured alone. The psalmist cries out in Psalm 34:18, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Your body is reacting to the turmoil in your soul, and we pray that the Lord would bring healing to both. We encourage you to seek godly counsel, whether through a pastor, a trusted Christian friend, or a biblical counselor, who can walk alongside you in this season. Isolation can deepen despair, but community brings light into darkness. James 5:16 says, "Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective."
Now, let us turn our hearts to your ex. His father’s words echo the concern of many who see a loved one straying from the path of righteousness. The Lord is gracious and patient, but He will not be mocked (Galatians 6:7). We must pray fervently for your ex, that the Lord would break through the hardness of his heart and draw him back to Himself. Psalm 51:10-12 is a prayer of repentance that we can lift on his behalf: "Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Don’t throw me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation. Uphold me with a willing spirit." We also pray that the Lord would use this season of struggle to refine him, as gold is refined in the fire (1 Peter 1:7). Sometimes, the Lord allows us to walk through valleys so that we may learn to lean on Him more fully.
However, we must also speak truth into this situation with love. While it is natural to hope for reconciliation, we must guard our hearts against idolizing the relationship or placing our ex above the Lord. Matthew 6:33 reminds us, "But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well." Your worth and identity are found in Christ alone, not in whether this relationship is restored. If it is God’s will for you to be reunited, it will happen in His timing and according to His purposes. But if it is not, we must trust that He has something better in store for both of you.
We also want to gently address the nature of the relationship you shared with your ex. If this was a courtship with the intention of marriage, we must consider whether it was built on a foundation of shared faith and commitment to the Lord. 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" If your ex was not walking with the Lord during your relationship, it may have been a union that was not blessed by God. This is not to bring condemnation but to encourage you to reflect on whether this relationship was aligned with God’s design for marriage, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman who share a commitment to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our sister who is walking through a season of deep sorrow and surrender. Lord, we ask that You would strengthen her in this time of weakness. Give her the grace to fully surrender her ex, this relationship, and her own desires into Your hands. Help her to trust in Your perfect plan, even when it is painful. We pray against the spirit of depression that is weighing her down, both emotionally and physically. Lord, restore her joy and peace, and let her body be healed from the effects of this struggle. Remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted and that Your love is her refuge (Psalm 34:18).
Father, we also lift up her ex to You. We ask that You would break through the hardness of his heart and draw him back to You. Soften his spirit, Lord, and let him see the emptiness of walking away from Your truth. Surround him with godly influences who will speak life into him and remind him of Your love. If it is Your will, bring him to a place of repentance and restoration, but if not, we trust that You have a better path for both of them. Let Your Holy Spirit convict him of sin and lead him into all truth (John 16:8).
Lord, we also ask that You would guard our sister’s heart from idolatry. Help her to find her identity, worth, and hope in You alone. If this relationship is not of You, we pray that You would close the door completely and heal her heart so that she may walk forward in freedom. Give her clarity and wisdom to discern Your will and the courage to follow it, even when it is difficult.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, for there is no other name by which we can come before You. We trust in Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and Your perfect timing. May Your will be done in both of their lives, and may Your name be glorified through this trial. Amen.
In this season, we encourage you to cling to the promises of God. Meditate on His Word, spend time in prayer, and surround yourself with believers who can uplift you. The Lord is working even when we cannot see it, and He will not waste your pain. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and trust that He is making all things new (Revelation 21:5). You are not alone, and we stand with you in prayer.