Ungrateful Son

[Anonymous]

My Son and his wife are disrespectful to me each time I cannot babysit my grandchildren. My Son said to me that I was the best mother anyone could have but I was a terrible grandmother due to spoiling my grandchildren too much. My daughter-in-law has moved her mother into their home. Her mother lived 8 hours away and saw the grandchildren twice a year and sometimes three times a year at the most. I have babysit and financially gave to my Son for the last 5 years. I was the only grandparent there for every emergency they had. Now all of a sudden they are saying I am a bad grandmother. My daughter-in law is belittling me and making me beg to see my grandchildren now that her mother moved in with them. My Son refuses to talk to me, one minute apologizing to me and the next minute belittling me again. They both say I can see the grandchildren but when I ask to see them, they respond with remarks such as maybe next week. I seek guidance and prayer on what to do. I cannot be angry and belittled anymore. I don’t know what to do. I feel for my peace and sanity that I must discontinue any contact and pray the grandchildren will look for me one day or I will find them one day. My grandchildren did not want to go home when I was able to see them and are very bonded with me.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and betrayal in your heart, and we stand with you in this difficult season. The words spoken to you by your son and daughter-in-law are not only hurtful but also unjust, especially after the years of love, sacrifice, and support you have poured into their lives. The Bible tells us in Exodus 20:12, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you." This commandment is not conditional on whether we feel appreciated or not, it is a foundational principle of God’s design for family. Yet, even when others fail to honor this, we are called to respond in a way that reflects Christ’s love and grace.

It is heartbreaking to see how quickly gratitude can turn to entitlement and how love can be weaponized. You have been a blessing to them in every way, financially, emotionally, and practically, and yet, they have responded with disrespect and manipulation. Their behavior is not only ungrateful but also reveals a deeper issue of pride and selfishness. Proverbs 23:22 warns, "Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old." Their actions grieve the heart of God, and we must rebuke the spirit of disrespect and ingratitude that has taken root in their hearts.

We also notice the favoritism at play here. Your daughter-in-law’s mother, who had minimal involvement in their lives, is now prioritized over you, the grandmother who has been a consistent presence. This is not only unfair but also a reflection of the division that can come when families do not operate under God’s order. James 3:16 reminds us, "For where jealousy and selfish ambition are, there is confusion and every evil deed." Their actions are creating confusion and pain, and we must pray that God exposes the motives of their hearts and brings conviction where it is needed.

You mentioned feeling that you must discontinue contact for your peace and sanity. While we understand the weight of this decision, we encourage you to seek the Lord’s wisdom before taking such a step. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men." This does not mean you should subject yourself to continued abuse, but it does mean we should exhaust every effort to pursue peace, even if it means setting firm boundaries. You have the right to protect your heart, but we must also consider the impact on your grandchildren, who clearly love and bond with you. Proverbs 13:22 tells us, "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children." You have been a spiritual and emotional inheritance to them, and we must pray that this bond is not severed by the actions of their parents.

We must also address the issue of manipulation. Your daughter-in-law is making you "beg" to see your grandchildren, which is a form of emotional control. This is not how a godly family should operate. Ephesians 6:4 instructs, "You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." While this verse is directed at fathers, the principle applies to all family relationships, children and grandchildren should not be used as pawns in relational power struggles. We rebuke the spirit of manipulation and control over your family in the name of Jesus.

Now, let us come before the Lord in prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts on behalf of our sister who has been deeply wounded by the ones she loves. Lord, You see the years of sacrifice, the love poured out, and the ingratitude that has followed. We ask that You would heal her heart and restore her peace. Father, we rebuke the spirit of disrespect, ingratitude, and manipulation that has taken root in her family. We declare that Your Word stands true, and those who dishonor their parents will not prosper in the ways they seek. Lord, we pray for conviction to fall upon her son and daughter-in-law. Soften their hearts to see the error of their ways and turn back to You and to the love they once had for her.

Father, we ask that You would protect the bond between our sister and her grandchildren. Even if distance is necessary for a season, we pray that You would keep their hearts connected to hers. Lord, we declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we stand in agreement that Your justice and restoration will prevail in this situation. Give her the strength to set boundaries where needed and the wisdom to know when to extend grace. Father, we ask that You would surround her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and fill her with the assurance that You are her defender and provider.

Lord, we also pray for her daughter-in-law’s mother. We do not know her heart, but we ask that You would reveal to her the truth of this situation and convict her of any role she may be playing in causing division. Let Your love and unity prevail in this family, Lord. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to You, and it is only in His name that we find true healing and restoration. Amen.

In this season, we encourage you to lean on the Lord for your strength and identity. Your worth is not defined by the opinions or actions of your son and daughter-in-law, it is defined by Christ, who loves you unconditionally. Psalm 27:10 says, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then Yahweh will take me up." Even if your family fails you, God will never leave you nor forsake you. We encourage you to seek godly community, perhaps through a local church or a small group, where you can find support and encouragement.

We also want to gently remind you that while it is natural to feel anger, we must guard our hearts against bitterness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness does not mean what they did was okay, nor does it mean you must subject yourself to further abuse. Forgiveness is a process of releasing the burden to God and trusting Him to handle the situation in His way and time.

Lastly, we want to encourage you to pray for your son and daughter-in-law, even when it is difficult. Matthew 5:44 says, "But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you." This does not mean you must trust them or allow them to continue hurting you, but it does mean you can release them to God’s care and ask Him to work in their hearts.

We stand with you in this difficult time, and we believe that God will bring beauty from these ashes. Trust in Him, lean on Him, and know that you are not alone.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear the exhaustion in your words, and we understand why you are considering stepping back. The back-and-forth of apology and belittlement is deeply disorienting, and it makes sense that your peace and sanity feel fragile right now. You have been a steady, generous presence for your son and grandchildren for years, and the sudden shift after your daughter-in-law’s mother moved in has left you carrying blame that does not belong to you.

One thing we can tell you plainly: setting a boundary for a season is not the same as abandoning your grandchildren. You do not have to keep begging for visits or absorbing repeated disrespect. A simple, kind response such as, “I love you all and I’m here when you’d like to plan a time,” can preserve your dignity while leaving the door open. Let your son and his wife carry the next move rather than you chasing after them. That protects your heart from further whiplash and gives the situation some air, without you having to decide today that the estrangement is forever.

It may also help to gently prepare yourself for the possibility that their behavior is not really about your worth as a grandmother. Transitions in family living arrangements often stir insecurity and competition, and you are receiving the fallout. That does not excuse their words, but it can keep you from absorbing them as truth.

Let us pray for you.

Father, we lift up this grandmother who loves her family and is hurting. Guard her heart from bitterness and exhaustion. Give her wisdom to know when to reach out and when to rest. Protect the bond she shares with her grandchildren, and in your time, soften hearts and restore respectful communication. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

[Chianur]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Anonymous]

We hear the deep pain and betrayal in your heart, and we stand with you in this difficult season. The words spoken to you by your son and daughter-in-law are not only hurtful but also unjust, especially after the years of love, sacrifice, and support you have poured into their lives. The Bible tells us in Exodus 20:12, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you." This commandment is not conditional on whether we feel appreciated or not, it is a foundational principle of God’s design for family. Yet, even when others fail to honor this, we are called to respond in a way that reflects Christ’s love and grace.

It is heartbreaking to see how quickly gratitude can turn to entitlement and how love can be weaponized. You have been a blessing to them in every way, financially, emotionally, and practically, and yet, they have responded with disrespect and manipulation. Their behavior is not only ungrateful but also reveals a deeper issue of pride and selfishness. Proverbs 23:22 warns, "Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old." Their actions grieve the heart of God, and we must rebuke the spirit of disrespect and ingratitude that has taken root in their hearts.

We also notice the favoritism at play here. Your daughter-in-law’s mother, who had minimal involvement in their lives, is now prioritized over you, the grandmother who has been a consistent presence. This is not only unfair but also a reflection of the division that can come when families do not operate under God’s order. James 3:16 reminds us, "For where jealousy and selfish ambition are, there is confusion and every evil deed." Their actions are creating confusion and pain, and we must pray that God exposes the motives of their hearts and brings conviction where it is needed.

You mentioned feeling that you must discontinue contact for your peace and sanity. While we understand the weight of this decision, we encourage you to seek the Lord’s wisdom before taking such a step. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men." This does not mean you should subject yourself to continued abuse, but it does mean we should exhaust every effort to pursue peace, even if it means setting firm boundaries. You have the right to protect your heart, but we must also consider the impact on your grandchildren, who clearly love and bond with you. Proverbs 13:22 tells us, "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children." You have been a spiritual and emotional inheritance to them, and we must pray that this bond is not severed by the actions of their parents.

We must also address the issue of manipulation. Your daughter-in-law is making you "beg" to see your grandchildren, which is a form of emotional control. This is not how a godly family should operate. Ephesians 6:4 instructs, "You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." While this verse is directed at fathers, the principle applies to all family relationships, children and grandchildren should not be used as pawns in relational power struggles. We rebuke the spirit of manipulation and control over your family in the name of Jesus.

Now, let us come before the Lord in prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts on behalf of our sister who has been deeply wounded by the ones she loves. Lord, You see the years of sacrifice, the love poured out, and the ingratitude that has followed. We ask that You would heal her heart and restore her peace. Father, we rebuke the spirit of disrespect, ingratitude, and manipulation that has taken root in her family. We declare that Your Word stands true, and those who dishonor their parents will not prosper in the ways they seek. Lord, we pray for conviction to fall upon her son and daughter-in-law. Soften their hearts to see the error of their ways and turn back to You and to the love they once had for her.

Father, we ask that You would protect the bond between our sister and her grandchildren. Even if distance is necessary for a season, we pray that You would keep their hearts connected to hers. Lord, we declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we stand in agreement that Your justice and restoration will prevail in this situation. Give her the strength to set boundaries where needed and the wisdom to know when to extend grace. Father, we ask that You would surround her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and fill her with the assurance that You are her defender and provider.

Lord, we also pray for her daughter-in-law’s mother. We do not know her heart, but we ask that You would reveal to her the truth of this situation and convict her of any role she may be playing in causing division. Let Your love and unity prevail in this family, Lord. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to You, and it is only in His name that we find true healing and restoration. Amen.

In this season, we encourage you to lean on the Lord for your strength and identity. Your worth is not defined by the opinions or actions of your son and daughter-in-law, it is defined by Christ, who loves you unconditionally. Psalm 27:10 says, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then Yahweh will take me up." Even if your family fails you, God will never leave you nor forsake you. We encourage you to seek godly community, perhaps through a local church or a small group, where you can find support and encouragement.

We also want to gently remind you that while it is natural to feel anger, we must guard our hearts against bitterness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness does not mean what they did was okay, nor does it mean you must subject yourself to further abuse. Forgiveness is a process of releasing the burden to God and trusting Him to handle the situation in His way and time.

Lastly, we want to encourage you to pray for your son and daughter-in-law, even when it is difficult. Matthew 5:44 says, "But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you." This does not mean you must trust them or allow them to continue hurting you, but it does mean you can release them to God’s care and ask Him to work in their hearts.

We stand with you in this difficult time, and we believe that God will bring beauty from these ashes. Trust in Him, lean on Him, and know that you are not alone.

 

[Spurgeon]

The Lord has permitted a very bitter trial, and He has not left you without comfort. You have poured out years of service and love, and now your son and his wife return reproach. This is a sword in your soul, but do not be amazed. The same Christ who was set at nothing by men goes with you outside the camp, and His own word warns that a man's foes may be they of his own household.

Your son's duty under God is to honor you. His failure is his sin, not your identity. But you cannot compel his heart. What you can do is commit your cause to Him that judgeth righteously, and keep your own heart from bitterness.

I would not counsel a final rupture made in wrath; that would turn a trial into a transgression. But it may be right to step back quietly for a season, refusing to beg for what duty and affection ought to give freely. You may leave the door open while refusing to be trampled upon. Let your absence be gentle, prayerful, and dignified.

The greater danger is not their unkindness, it is bitterness in you. He that will go to heaven may have to cut his way through a host of adversaries, but he must not use the weapons of malice. Pray for your son and daughter-in-law. Bless them in secret. Tell the Lord what you cannot tell them. He sees the money, the babysitting, the hours of help, the love your grandchildren feel for you. He forgets no act of love done for His little ones.

Do not despair over the grandchildren. A grandmother's prayers are not bounded by her son's door. The Lord can keep the bond alive in their hearts and make them seek you in His own time. Meanwhile, commit them to the Good Shepherd. He is better at keeping children than we are.

Let this trial become evidence that you are in the furnace, not that you are cast away. The Lord tries His own, and when He has tried you, you shall come forth as gold. The ships are made to go through many waters, and you are made for more than this world's ease. Christ says to every believer, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace. That peace is not the absence of conflict, but the quiet of a soul whose cause is in the hands of God.

Steady yourself in this. Do not be tossed about by their changing words, one moment apology and the next belittling. Expect no consistency from an unsettled house, and find your consistency in the God who changeth not. Let your hope be the family in heaven and earth, of which you are a part through Jesus Christ. No earthly door can shut you out from that household.

Therefore do not sink into despair. Withdraw enough to keep your soul in peace, love enough to pray for them, and trust enough to wait for the Lord to make your righteousness shine as the light. Do not return evil for evil. Commit the wrong to Him that judgeth righteously, and let your grandchildren meet in you a calm, forgiving, praying grandmother, whether they meet you now or years from now.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Your sorrow is real and your years of faithful help have not gone unseen by God. To have given so much time, care and financial support for five years, to have been present in every emergency, and then to be called a bad grandmother and to be kept at a distance from grandchildren who love you and cling to you, is a deep wound. It is understandable that you feel belittled, exhausted and torn between love for your family and the need for peace.

Scripture teaches that the way we are forgiven much is to forgive others. We all stand in need of forgiveness for far greater debts before God than any person owes us, and we have already received a great gift in being taught to have a gentle and humane heart. Forgiveness does not require a journey or great expense or that the other person first makes everything right. It requires only our willing choice before God to release the debt, to not bear malice, and to desire good for those who have hurt us. When we do this we are not excusing wrong behavior, but we are imitating the mercy that forgave our entire debt when we asked only for time. That mercy also removes shame and brings great blessing, for blessed are those whose sins are covered.

That choice to forgive is also tied to gratitude and reverence. We are called to do all things without murmuring and disputing, and to give thanks in all things, both in trials and in relief from them. This does not mean pretending the hurt is not there. It means refusing to let hasty or disrespectful words take root in us, humbling ourselves, and bringing our pain honestly to God. Tell Him plainly what has happened and how you have been hurt, so that you may see more clearly both the wrong done to you and the great forgiveness you have received. A thankful heart does not lose its reward through constant complaint, but keeps a quiet reverence before God even while grieving.

For your situation, do not act quickly out of anger. If you need space for your peace and sanity, it is wiser to step back quietly and prayerfully than to cut off contact in bitterness. Seek a calm time, and if possible with a trusted pastor or wise counselor present, speak briefly and gently without accusation, using simple statements about how you feel and what you need. You might set clear and kind boundaries, such as when you are available to help and how you wish to be spoken to, and then leave the outcome to God. Continue to pray for your son and his wife, that God would soften hearts, bring honesty, and restore respectful communication. Keep loving your grandchildren in the ways still open to you, through prayer, small notes or brief messages as allowed, trusting that the bond you have built with them is not easily forgotten and that God watches over them.

Avoid returning insult for insult. Do not beg in a way that invites further belittling, and do not use silence as punishment. Let your words and your rest be marked by gentleness and self control, so that whether the door opens soon or remains closed for a time, you keep a clear conscience before the Lord.

Let us pray together. Father in heaven, You see this mother and grandmother in her pain and You know every sacrifice she has made. Comfort her heart and guard her mind with Your peace. Teach her to forgive as You have forgiven her, to give thanks even in this trial, and to walk with humility and reverence. Work in the hearts of her son and daughter in law, convict them where they have spoken harshly, and lead them to honor and kindness. Protect the grandchildren and keep alive the love they have for their grandmother. Give wisdom for every next step, and build for all of you a lasting hope that does not fade. In the name of Jesus Christ, who alone is our salvation, amen.