Silas
Beloved of All
Your prayer carries a lot of weight, and I can hear the exhaustion behind it. The frustration of working under the sun, cleaning up after animals, dealing with disrespect, and carrying the trauma from a past where you were humiliated and scared, all while struggling with senses that others don't understand, that kind of pain is real. It’s not petty to want it to stop. The desire to move into television, to help others, to use that platform for good, shows you long for something more than just escape. You want purpose.
But there’s a distinction we need to see clearly, because making a project the center of your hope will lead to a similar kind of emptiness you’re already feeling. Life under the sun, chasing after career, recognition, or a change in circumstances, can become a desperate chase, like grabbing smoke. Many have tried to find their meaning in building something, in pleasure, in fame, and they come to the same conclusion: if that’s all there is, life is frustrating and vain. The real life you’re hungry for isn’t found in a station or a star on a project. It’s a quality of life that is eternal, age-abiding, and it’s found only in the Son. When you have the Son, you have that life. Apart from him, even the best job will leave you feeling empty.
The deeper issue is what sits in the center of your life. If the desire for this TV project is there, it will never give you the peace you need. It will just be another master. But when God is at the center, your life becomes rich and full in a way that isn’t dependent on who notices you or what you produce. That new life he gives you is a spiritual one, not just a body-conscious existence reacting to sensory pain and human disrespect. Your old life, with its trauma and bitterness and feelings of being stuck, is something Christ has already dealt with. You can reckon that constant flare-up of humiliation and fear as part of the old person you’ve died to. That anger belongs to the dead past. You have a new spiritual identity now, in union with his Spirit, even though your flesh still tries to sit on the throne and control your reactions.
I also want you to see that God’s purpose for your life right now isn’t on hold until a project works out. The whole purpose of you still being here on this earth is to bear good fruit for his kingdom. He wouldn’t leave you in this miserable place if it weren’t for a purpose. That zoo, with all its chaos and triggers, isn’t an accident. It’s not just time and chance happening to you. You aren’t living by random luck. God’s hand is upon your life, and he brings into it what he knows is best for you. Sometimes our lives look like a confused maze, and we don’t understand where to turn, but all these things, every disrespectful comment, every exhausting day, are working together for good because you love him and you’ve been called according to his purpose.
The change you truly need isn’t just a change of job, but a deep change of heart. God isn’t looking for tears alone; he’s looking for the evidence of a heart that says, “Lord, change my attitude here and now.” You can’t change your heart by changing your actions or your circumstances. If you get the project but your heart hasn’t been rendered by the Spirit, the new situation will bring new problems. But if you purpose in your heart right where you are, like Daniel purposed not to defile himself, to let Christ be glorified in your body, whether you’re cleaning an enclosure or standing on a set, you’ll find a life that is content and full. Your real purpose is to have Christ magnified in your body, whether by life or by death, whether in the zoo or in television.
Fall back on what you do know: God has given you eternal life, and that life is in his Son. He who has the Son has this rich, quality life of peace and righteousness. The one who seeks to save his own life and career will lose the very thing he’s chasing, but the one who loses his life for Christ’s sake finds it. Solomon’s philosophy of “make the best of it and party it up” was wrong. Your life is not a dead-end working under the sun. It’s a life hidden in the Son, where every single appointment is intended for your good and for his kingdom.
But there’s a distinction we need to see clearly, because making a project the center of your hope will lead to a similar kind of emptiness you’re already feeling. Life under the sun, chasing after career, recognition, or a change in circumstances, can become a desperate chase, like grabbing smoke. Many have tried to find their meaning in building something, in pleasure, in fame, and they come to the same conclusion: if that’s all there is, life is frustrating and vain. The real life you’re hungry for isn’t found in a station or a star on a project. It’s a quality of life that is eternal, age-abiding, and it’s found only in the Son. When you have the Son, you have that life. Apart from him, even the best job will leave you feeling empty.
The deeper issue is what sits in the center of your life. If the desire for this TV project is there, it will never give you the peace you need. It will just be another master. But when God is at the center, your life becomes rich and full in a way that isn’t dependent on who notices you or what you produce. That new life he gives you is a spiritual one, not just a body-conscious existence reacting to sensory pain and human disrespect. Your old life, with its trauma and bitterness and feelings of being stuck, is something Christ has already dealt with. You can reckon that constant flare-up of humiliation and fear as part of the old person you’ve died to. That anger belongs to the dead past. You have a new spiritual identity now, in union with his Spirit, even though your flesh still tries to sit on the throne and control your reactions.
I also want you to see that God’s purpose for your life right now isn’t on hold until a project works out. The whole purpose of you still being here on this earth is to bear good fruit for his kingdom. He wouldn’t leave you in this miserable place if it weren’t for a purpose. That zoo, with all its chaos and triggers, isn’t an accident. It’s not just time and chance happening to you. You aren’t living by random luck. God’s hand is upon your life, and he brings into it what he knows is best for you. Sometimes our lives look like a confused maze, and we don’t understand where to turn, but all these things, every disrespectful comment, every exhausting day, are working together for good because you love him and you’ve been called according to his purpose.
The change you truly need isn’t just a change of job, but a deep change of heart. God isn’t looking for tears alone; he’s looking for the evidence of a heart that says, “Lord, change my attitude here and now.” You can’t change your heart by changing your actions or your circumstances. If you get the project but your heart hasn’t been rendered by the Spirit, the new situation will bring new problems. But if you purpose in your heart right where you are, like Daniel purposed not to defile himself, to let Christ be glorified in your body, whether you’re cleaning an enclosure or standing on a set, you’ll find a life that is content and full. Your real purpose is to have Christ magnified in your body, whether by life or by death, whether in the zoo or in television.
Fall back on what you do know: God has given you eternal life, and that life is in his Son. He who has the Son has this rich, quality life of peace and righteousness. The one who seeks to save his own life and career will lose the very thing he’s chasing, but the one who loses his life for Christ’s sake finds it. Solomon’s philosophy of “make the best of it and party it up” was wrong. Your life is not a dead-end working under the sun. It’s a life hidden in the Son, where every single appointment is intended for your good and for his kingdom.
