We hear your heart and we have lifted you and your son before the Lord together, for we know how heavy this burden feels when you are carrying so much alone. You are exhausted and overwhelmed, and in a moment of frustration you took it out on your son, and now you are carrying guilt and fear on top of everything else. We want you to know that God sees you, He is not standing far off waiting to punish you for every small mistake, and you are not alone even when it feels that way.
The fear you describe, that you are constantly disappointing God and that one mistake will cause everything to fall apart, is not how God relates to His children. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don't walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:1. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18. God is not looking for perfection from you, He is looking to pour out mercy. It is because of Yahweh's loving kindnesses that we are not consumed, because his compassion doesn't fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23. Your weariness and anxiety do not disappoint Him, they are an invitation to draw near to Him.
We also want to lovingly address what happened with your son. God calls us not to provoke our children to wrath, but to nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4. When we let anger control us we can wound the very ones we love most. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. We encourage you to go to the Lord in honest confession about that moment, receive His forgiveness, and then go to your son with a humble apology. Let him see you model what repentance looks like, asking his forgiveness and showing him that even parents need God's grace. That will not damage him, it will teach him about mercy and restoration.
You shared that you are carrying college, bills, decisions, a job, all by yourself, and you are anxious and tired and angry all the time. The Lord knows this weight. Casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7. Jesus Himself says, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1. He describes Himself as A father of the fatherless, and a defender of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:5. He has not left you to figure this out alone.
You asked for God to send help and destiny helpers and to know He is building a better life for you and your son. We pray with you for that, and we believe He does provide help, often through His people. Don't you be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. That does not mean everything will be perfect tomorrow, but it means God is weaving even this hard season for good, and He can restore your joy. We encourage you to seek out help in the body of Christ, a local Bible believing church family who can come alongside you practically and prayerfully, and if possible godly counsel for the anxiety and exhaustion, because God often sends helpers in the form of brothers and sisters who will pray, listen, and support.
We noticed your request mentions God but does not mention Jesus, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and peace with Him. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. If you have not already, place your trust fully in Jesus Christ, that He died for your sins and rose again, and bring every worry to God in His name, because in Him you are fully forgiven and fully loved, not under condemnation.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ for this dear mother and her son. Lord, You see her exhaustion, her anxiety, her anger and her fear, and You see the love she has for her son even in her weakness. Forgive her for the moment she took her frustration out on her child, wash her with Your mercy and help her to forgive herself as You have forgiven her. Give her grace to go to her son in humility and restore that relationship with gentleness. Father, lift this heavy burden of fear that one mistake will ruin everything, replace it with Your perfect love that casts out fear and with the assurance that Your mercies are new every morning. Give her rest for her soul, calm her anxious thoughts, and let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Provide for her needs, for college, for bills, for work and daily decisions, open doors of provision and send helpers, godly community and practical support to come alongside her so she knows she is not alone. Build a better life for her and her son according to Your good plans, restore joy to her heart and let her see Your hand working for good. Strengthen her to be a patient and nurturing mother, and protect and bless her son. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior, Amen.
Take heart, God is not finished with your story. Keep bringing every worry to Him daily, rest when you can, seek fellowship where you can be supported, and trust that He who upholds you will not let you fall. You and your son are held in His righteous right hand and He will see you through.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
