"Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:57
From the website of X-Hooker Annie Lobert:
Please read this story, and I will explain everything to you because
ANYTHING THAT WE HAVE TO HIDE HAS POWER OVER US!!!
I was a prostitute in the escort services in LAS VEGAS, in the casinos, on the street, and I was an exotic dancer in the clubs. I did everything that you can imagine. When you are brokenhearted with a will to "REBEL" what is your definition of love? My self-worth was defined by looking for love in all the WRONG places, in WRONG people, people with issues just like mine.
I was always chasing just to belong, hungry for acceptance, just to be loved. When I gave my self sexually to men, for that brief moment, I felt "wanted" and "loved", but if you told me I was beautiful, I wouldn't believe you. I didn't see that when I looked in the mirror. I saw a rejected tramp with a broken heart.
So, what happened to me eventually as an sex industry entertainer?
I was beaten, raped, kidnapped, held hostage, strangled, suffocated, guns put in my mouth, hair cut off, tied up, gagged, put in trunks of cars, bones broken, spit on, kicked, pushed, stalked by crazy men, and during that time I WAS PIMPED for five years.
This was done to the extent that I didn't even know who I was anymore... I literally became the alter ego named "Fallen" because she was strong, she could handle all of it without mental damage, she could get up after being punched and "knocked out" with no problem... right? She HAD to take over... because she was the only one at the time that could keep that little girl Annie alive.
What I had failed to realize about the choices I had made in my life, was that there was a consequence to pay. I didn't know it at the time, but I had developed a disorder what doctor's call today, "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." I had so much pain, ANGER, shame, GUILT, and regret in my life that I just wanted to erase it! So, I literally took it too far--I overdosed on cocaine, alcohol, Xanax, pain pills, and somas one night. I took a hit of cocaine and I thought I was going to die; the pain in my chest was so scary--as I fell to the ground all I could see was my life flashing before me. I was in TOTAL DARKNESS, no light, no sound--just me and the feeling of real death. My ears were ringing really loud... the aloneness crept in like a black blanket--I had NEVER been so scared in all my life, it was literally HELL!
I was frozen, I couldn't move, I couldn't see. I was separated from everyone I had ever known, even the presence of God. I was waiting in anxiety for the flames to appear... I instinctively could only say the name of Jesus from my lips... "Jesus, I am sorry!!!" "Jesus! Please, Jesus forgive me!" I thought, "NOOOO!! I can't die like this! Jesus, if you are real, please give me another chance!!!" Now I had prayed this prayer before ONLY IN EMERGENCY and always wondered why God didn't always hear me... and here was the difference--I REALLY MEANT IT THIS TIME. There was no more CRYING WOLF!!! As the sirens rang out from the ambulance, I prayed to Him that if He saved me I would tell the whole world about His salvation and who He is. Well, Jesus came to my rescue... That girl I used to be? --"FALLEN"-- SHE DIED THAT DAY! Finally, my prayer was answered and REAL TRUTH was being revealed to me for the FIRST time in my life!
Shortly after I overdosed on cocaine, my dear friend Al that got me out of the prostitution game noticed that I was watching Joyce Meyer on TV to be honest with you I was so drawn to her teachings... they spoke LIFE into my spirit. So, that Christmas he bought me a few of her books. I started reading the Bible and her books and really getting filled with the truth... and the defining moment came when I heard Joyce say to the TV audience, "God loves you!" and my heart completely melted!
WHAT? You mean, God loves ME????!!! After ALL THAT I HAVE DONE??? He's not MAD at me??? AND I will have eternal life on top of it???
"Yes, Annie. I love you... and there is NOTHING that will separate you from My love again." And for the first time in my life, I could really hear God's voice speaking to me... as tears welled up in my eyes I got on my knees in front of the TV... This was incredible! I never knew this... that God loved ME... because NO ONE ever told me these wonderful words before! Those very words struck a chord in me and stayed with me day and night. Then I did something back then I would have considered crazy. I ACTUALLY HAD THE NERVE TO BELIEVE IT! It is then that my walk with God became so much deeper than just the desperation of the overdose. I decided to take the leap of faith and completely dedicate my ENTIRE life to Him. JESUS.
I surrendered it, finally... all the pain, all the disappointments, all the lies, all the shame... ALL THE GUILT!!! Because trying to get better on my own WAS NOT WORKING. Guess what? I never turned back because...
I finally found the TRUTH. And it was not in some man, materialism, drug, or fantasy. It is in a Man that will never leave you nor forsake you. A man that is faithful, merciful, graceful, kind, but most of all he loves ME for ME and NOT who I USED to be!
He loves us unconditionally, and it doesn't MATTER where we have been and how many wrong things we may have done. So, you ask yourself, what kind of person could forgive the mess I've made???
His name is Jesus. When I CHOSE to fully believe that He died in place of ME for my sins... it literally changed my perspective on life!
WOW! HE REALLY DIED FOR ME??? NO WAY!
This sounded too good to be true... but because I had tried everything else, I decided to simply believe, because I had nothing else to lose!
Jesus is so merciful, full of forgiveness and love! Do you even know this??? He just wanted a relationship! BUT THE ONLY WAY HE FINALLY GOT MY ATTENTION WAS BECAUSE I HAD NO WHERE TO GO--I HAD TO FACE DEATH IN THE FACE TO KNOW THAT HE WAS THERE.
Jesus wanted me reach out to Him for help, so He could finally show me His unconditional love--there were "no strings" attached. He wanted me to simply trust Him. He also showed me something I was in need of desperatly--FORGIVENESS. And because of that, I could finally forgive others.
Blinded by my own pity, I realized where most of my pain was centered. It was in MYSELF... the failures, the regrets, the GUILT!!! I thought, if Jesus could forgive me, then could I possibly forgive myself? So I did it!!!
I forgave myself for all the terrible things that I had done, and the yoke of bondage and guilt was "lifted" from my back.
Do you know what? It is a CHOICE people! You will be FREE if you decide to not listen to the devil's lies anymore and you choose to FORGIVE others, but mostly YOURSELF!
FREEDOM! No matter what we do wrong, HE continues to do what is right in our lives!
"IF WE ARE NOT FAITHFUL, HE WILL BE FAITHFUL. BECAUSE CHRIST CANNOT DENY WHO HE IS!!!" 2 TIMOTHY 2:13
Do you "hate" what you are doing or who YOU have become?
We need to run into the arms of God the Father and ask him for forgiveness... "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."
He wants us to face our fears so we can walk through the door we have been avoiding. It's not locked. When we do this we face our pain and THEN God can move to heal us! If you are fearful, THEN DO IT AFRAID! There will be a huge reward behind it!
Besides, fear IS NOT OF GOD!
"Anything that you fear has power and authority over you, and sooner or later, you are going to come back full circle, and you are going to have to deal with it!" quote, Joyce Meyer
God really loves you! Yes, YOU! The person that is living in defeat! Don't let the devil steal your joy ANY longer! IF you ASK Jesus into your heart--watch how He can radically change your life!
"THEREFORE IF ANY PERSON IS IN CHRIST HE IS A NEW CREATION; THE OLD HAS PASSED AWAY. BEHOLD, THE FRESH AND NEW HAS COME"!
2 Corinthians 5:17
I have FINALLY decided to accept the free gift of GRACE that He has forgiven ME and REALLY did die for my sins...
To tell you the truth I have NEVER been happier in all of my life! But this, my friends, was God's perfect plan...
"YOU (the devil) INTENDED HARM TO ME, BUT GOD INTENDED IT ALL FOR GOOD. HE BROUGHT ME TO THIS POSITION SO I COULD SAVE THE LIVES OF MANY PEOPLE" Genesis 50:20
Now I can explain HOOKER FOR JESUS? WHAT is a hooker for Jesus? Well, first of all, the meaning for "HOOKER" is a clipper style boat made for fishing in the 1600s. Hooker also means a "fish hook." I believe that God is tired of people thinking that this is such a "dirty" word... so, I am taking the name back for HIM! YES! I'm a X-HOOKER saved by GRACE!!! The "X" doesn't simply mean that I have left that lifestyle, it also stands for all the nameless prostitutes that are afraid to speak out--for my desire is that I am used as their unheard voice. Someone needs to care! Someone needs to do something!
I WILL BE THAT PERSON TO ACT INSTEAD OF WATCH.
REAL FAITH IS ACTION!!!
You need a hook to catch fish. Jesus commands us to be fishers of men. "COME FOLLOW ME, AND I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN" (MATTHEW 5:19) I am ready to cast my line and hook; except this time, I'm catching people for salvation with a Holy kind of bait, the gospel and testimony of Jesus Christ.
"THE FRUIT OF THE UNCOMPROMISINGLY RIGHTEOUS IS A TREE OF LIFE, AND HE WHO IS WISE CAPTURES HUMAN LIVES FOR GOD, AS A FISHER OF MEN-HE GATHERS AND RECEIVES THEM FOR ETERNITY" Proverbs 11:30
"HOLDING ON TO YOUR PAST WILL ONLY DESTROY YOUR FUTURE" quote, Annie Lobert
"YOUR SOMEWHERE IN THE FUTURE, AND YOU LOOK MUCH BETTER THAN YOU LOOK RIGHT NOW!"
Copyright 2006-2008. Annie Lobert. All Rights Reserved.
The entire testimony of our sister in Christ, Annie Lobert' can be read in its entire context .
http://www.myspace.com/annielobert
