Terrible parents

Your honesty in sharing such painful history is received with care and prayer. What you endured as a little girl, being neglected and made to feel unwanted, never hearing words of love or receiving affection, and being confused by gaslighting, leaves deep wounds. Jesus sees all of that. Nothing about your story is hidden from Him. He looks with compassion and sympathetic understanding on our weaknesses and needs, seeing what other people cannot see, and His love reaches into those hidden places.

Only God can bring the kind of healing that truly restores, as when a leper could only be made clean by His divine touch. The law made provision for that very work of grace. In the same way, the Lord is able to do a divine work in you. When we pray, it is easy to focus only on the outward symptoms and the practical struggles, but Scripture reminds us that our greatest need is salvation and the forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ alone. That is the foundation for all other healing. Better to enter heaven whole in Him than to have every other problem solved without Him. As He forgives and makes us new, He also begins to heal the heart from the inside out. He went about doing good and healing, teaching us to love and forgive and show mercy, and He does not hold back His power from those who come to Him in faith.

I am praying that Jesus will continue that healing work in you, repairing the damage left by your parents and others, and filling the places where love and nurture were missing with His own faithful love. I am also praying that you will grow in the practical skills you mentioned, like budgeting and cooking and caring for a home. Not having been taught these things as a child is not a failure on your part, and it is never too late to learn. Growth comes step by step as you feed your spirit on God's Word and walk with Him, and as your inner life is strengthened, you will find strength to learn and to overcome in everyday life. Ask Him for wisdom for each task, seek patient help from trusted people around you, and allow your husband to walk alongside you in learning together without shame.

For your marriage, I am praying that God will strengthen the covenant you have entered. In Scripture, marriage is described as two becoming one, a compound unity that reflects something of God's own oneness. It is a lifelong union of one man and one woman where love, forgiveness, mercy and peace are to dwell. May the Lord knit your hearts together more deeply, teach you both to love and forgive as He has loved you, and guard your home from striving.

May the Lord bless you with His presence, assure you of your salvation in Christ, heal your heart with His compassion, give you grace to learn what you were never taught, and make your marriage strong in His love.
 

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