Take all the stress

[Aztariothur]

Im confused in my life to take proper decision.I was not happy with my husband for many years,then I chose to find other person in my life inially I was happy but when I came abroad there was disconnection in our relationship but I love him a lot.But because of my kids im confused what decision should I take,also dont want to hurt husband.Please help me God to take decision.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep turmoil in your heart, and we come before the Lord with you, seeking His wisdom and peace in this difficult season. The confusion and pain you’re experiencing are heavy, and we want to lift you up in prayer, while also speaking truth from God’s Word to guide your steps.

First, we must address the seriousness of what has taken place. The Bible is clear that marriage is a sacred covenant before God, designed to be a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). When we step outside of that covenant, even if our emotions feel justified, we open ourselves to brokenness, not just in our marriages, but in our hearts and families. You mentioned finding another person, and while you may have felt happiness in that moment, the disconnection and pain that followed are evidence of the consequences of sin. The Bible warns us, "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap" (Galatians 6:7). Fornication, sexual intimacy outside of marriage, is a sin that grieves the heart of God (1 Corinthians 6:18-20), and it brings harm not only to ourselves but to those we love, including our children.

Your love for this other person does not justify continuing in a relationship that contradicts God’s design. The Bible tells us, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous" (Hebrews 13:4). We must repent, turn away from this path, and seek God’s forgiveness and restoration. This does not mean your feelings are invalid, but it does mean they must be surrendered to God’s higher purpose for your life.

Your children are a precious gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), and their well-being must be a priority. The confusion you feel is understandable, but we must ask: What example are we setting for them if we prioritize our own desires over God’s commands? Children thrive in homes where parents honor God’s design for marriage, even when it’s difficult. The enemy would love to use this situation to bring further division, but God can bring healing and redemption if we submit to Him.

We also want to gently address your husband. You mentioned not being happy with him for many years, and while we do not know the specifics of your marriage, we know that no marriage is perfect. However, God calls us to love and honor our spouses, even in difficult seasons (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7). Have you sought godly counsel, perhaps from a pastor or a Christian marriage mentor, to work through these challenges? Have you prayed together as a couple, asking God to restore what has been broken? The Bible tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). This applies not only to our personal sins but to the ways we may have failed in our marriages.

Now, we want to speak to your heart about the decision before you. The weight of this choice is heavy, but you do not have to carry it alone. God promises, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him" (James 1:5). We encourage you to seek the Lord in prayer, fasting if necessary, and ask Him to reveal His will. The Bible also tells us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). This is not a time to rely on your emotions or the opinions of others, but to seek God’s face and listen for His voice.

We must also address the reality of your salvation. You asked for God’s help, but we must emphasize that it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). If you have not placed your faith in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so today. Repent of your sins, believe in His death and resurrection for your salvation, and invite Him to be the Lord of your life. Without Jesus, we cannot truly know God’s will or experience His peace.

Let us pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister who is struggling with confusion, pain, and difficult decisions. Lord, You see the depths of her heart, and You know the weight she carries. We ask that You would pour out Your mercy and grace upon her, drawing her closer to You in this season.

Father, we confess the sin of adultery and fornication that has taken place. We ask for Your forgiveness, Lord, and we pray that You would break the chains of this relationship that does not honor You. Give her the strength to walk away from this path and to seek Your will above all else. Help her to see the brokenness that sin brings, not just to her life, but to her children and her marriage.

Lord, we pray for her marriage. We ask that You would soften both her heart and her husband’s heart, that You would bring healing and restoration where there has been pain and distance. Give them the courage to seek godly counsel and to fight for their marriage, not out of obligation, but out of a desire to honor You.

Father, we ask for Your wisdom to flood her mind and spirit. Remove the confusion and replace it with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Help her to trust in You with all her heart, leaning not on her own understanding, but acknowledging You in all her ways.

Lord, if she does not know You as her Savior, we pray that she would come to know the love of Jesus Christ. Open her eyes to see her need for a Savior, and draw her to the foot of the cross, where she can find forgiveness and new life.

We pray for her children, Lord. Protect their hearts and minds during this difficult time. Give them a sense of security and peace, and help them to see Your love reflected in their mother’s life.

Finally, Lord, we ask that You would guide her steps. Give her the courage to make decisions that honor You, even when they are difficult. Surround her with godly friends and mentors who can speak truth into her life and support her in this season.

We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Dear sister, we want to leave you with this encouragement: God is not surprised by your struggles, and He is not far from you. He sees your pain, your confusion, and your desire to do what is right. The road ahead may not be easy, but it is worth it to walk in obedience to Him. Consider reaching out to a trusted pastor or Christian counselor who can walk alongside you as you seek God’s will. You are not alone, and with God’s help, you can navigate this season with faith and hope. "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9). Trust in Him, and He will direct your paths.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this feels. You are carrying confusion, concern for your children, fear of hurting your husband, and the pain of a connection that has not turned out the way you hoped. That is a lot to hold alone, and pressure can make every option look impossible. We want to help you carry it in prayer, not add more weight.

One honest next step may be to slow down before forcing a final decision. Because your children and your marriage are involved, this is too layered to sort through without wise, confidential support. A trusted pastor or licensed Christian counselor, even by video while you are abroad, can help you name what is really driving your choices and help you consider what is best for your kids, not just what relieves your stress in the moment.

We also know that carrying a divided heart is exhausting. God already knows everything, and He can handle your questions. You do not have to clean up the story before you ask Him to show you the way.

Father, we lift up this mother and wife. You see her confusion and her tiredness. Give her a clear mind and keep her children safe from being pulled apart by adult decisions. Lead her to trustworthy counsel, give her courage to face what is true, and guide her into Your will rather than a quick escape from stress. Be near her in the loneliness of being far from home. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

 

[Wernad]

May the Lord grant this woman wisdom and clarity in her confusion, for He promises to guide those who seek Him . May He quiet the noise of fear, guilt, and conflicting emotions, and fill her heart with His perfect peace that surpasses all understanding . May she see herself and her circumstances through God's eyes—not through the lens of loneliness or temporary affection . May the Holy Spirit expose any bond that is not of God and give her the strength to choose what is righteous, even when it is difficult . May He protect her children from harm and surround this family with His grace . May she trust that God will make her path straight when she acknowledges Him in all her ways , and may He grant her the courage to act in love, truth, and faith—not in fear or confusion . May His will be done, and may His peace rule in her heart .

Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

You are not asked to choose between two men; you are called to choose between sin and obedience. The stress you feel is not merely a difficulty of circumstances; it is the merciful warning of conscience against a path God has not blessed.

You say you were not happy with your husband for many years. That unhappiness is real, and it deserves compassion. But unhappiness did not give you leave to seek another person. The marriage covenant remains a lifelong bond of one man and one woman, and to seek love and companionship in another is adultery, not a decision God can smile upon. You say you love this other man a lot. But an affection nourished in covenant breaking is not the love that comes from God. It began in transgression, and it is now bearing the fruit of confusion, division, and guilt. God will not bless what His Word forbids.

Do not ask God to bless this relationship. Ask Him instead to give you grace to repent. Repentance is not merely feeling sorry because you are unhappy or because you fear hurting others. It is calling the sin by its real name, grieving over it, confessing it, and turning from it with the whole heart. Psalm 51 is the cry for you: Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness; according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. There is blood that cleanses from all sin. You may be guilty, but you are not beyond pardon. The Lord Jesus died for adulterers and for all who have broken His law, and He is ready to receive you the moment you will part with the sin.

Your children are in the balance. If you continue in this entanglement, you are passing them through a fire they did not kindle. They will learn from you either that marriage is a covenant before God, or that it may be cast aside when affection cools. Do not add to your other transgressions the great sin of teaching your children by example to despise the commandment. But if you turn, God can still use you to bring them to Christ. A mother who has been forgiven much will speak of the Savior with a tenderness that never knew the deep waters of guilt.

What then must you do? First, break off every contact with the other man, completely and without lingering affection. Not a single message, not a single remembrance kept as an idol. If you love him, the only true love is to leave him to God and to do him no further spiritual harm. Second, confess your sin to God in secret, and then make confession to your husband with genuine sorrow, asking his forgiveness. Whether he extends it or not, your duty is to confess and to seek reconciliation in the covenant you made before God. Third, seek godly counsel from a pastor or wise Christian woman who will hold you to the truth, not soothe you with pleasant lies.

You say you do not want to hurt your husband. Yet the sin has already wounded him far more than you may know, and secret sin wounds your own soul. Do not think you can manage this without pain. It will hurt to crucify a sinful affection, but it is far better to wound the flesh than to wound Christ. The Lord Jesus is jealous for you. He will not let one drop of your love go in a direction that dishonors Him without bringing you to the place of decision. That is what your stress is doing. It is driving you to face the truth.

Do not trust your feelings as a guide. They have already led you astray. The path of peace is not to follow the strongest affection but to obey the plain command. You say you love this other man a lot; but love that breaks the law of God is not love, it is a snare. True love rejoices in the truth. True love would not ask you to become an adulteress or to wound your children. Whatever affection you have for him must be laid at the cross and left there.

I cannot promise that your marriage will be made easy, or that your husband will be tender, or that the romantic happiness you sought will be restored at once. But I can point you to the sin forgiving God. The guilt can be removed, the guile can be purged, and the Holy Spirit can begin a new work in your heart. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Set your face toward the covenant you made, and toward the Christ who forgives all who come to Him.

Come, poor awakened sinner, full of guilt and full of fear, and say, I do believe that He is able and willing to save me. Then you will find that His grace is greater than your confusion, and His love will make the crooked things straight. Do not say you need time to decide. You have had time enough. Decide today to put away the sin and to follow Christ.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Thank you for sharing your heart so honestly in a very difficult and painful situation. I hear your stress and confusion as you feel torn between your marriage, your children, and another relationship, and your desire not to hurt anyone is understandable. God sees your struggle and He cares for you, and He also wants to lead you clearly through His Word.

Scripture teaches that marriage is a bond ordained by God, a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. It is honorable and to be kept pure, and holiness in this area means faithfulness within that covenant. Living together or sexual intimacy belongs only within marriage, not outside it. This is not because God wants to withhold joy from you, but because He designed marriage to reflect His faithfulness and to protect you, your husband, and your children.

Because of this, the path of continuing a relationship with another man while you are married is not one that God will bless, even though feelings of love and happiness may be strong. Those feelings are real, but they do not make the relationship right before God, and continuing it will bring deeper hurt to your husband, your children, and to you, and it will keep you from the peace you are seeking. The disconnection you now feel after moving abroad is also a sign that this relationship cannot provide the stable foundation you need.

God does want to help you make a right decision, and His help begins with turning to Jesus Christ alone for forgiveness and new life. If you have not already, confess to God honestly that you have sought happiness outside His design for marriage, and ask for His forgiveness through Jesus who died and rose again for sinners. God promises to forgive and to cleanse those who come to Him with a repentant heart, and He will give you strength to walk in a new way.

From that place of repentance, the loving and responsible step is to end contact with the other person completely and to turn your efforts toward your marriage. This will be painful and will require clear boundaries, but it is necessary to honor your vows and to protect your family. Because you have been unhappy for many years, do not try to walk this road alone. Please seek a trusted pastor or a biblically grounded counselor soon, someone who can walk with you in person, help you process the hurt in your marriage, and guide you in how to speak truthfully and lovingly to your husband. If there are serious concerns about safety or past harm in the marriage, share that openly with your counselor so you can get wise and safe guidance.

Your children need your stability and your example of faithfulness, even when it is hard. Working toward healing in your marriage, or at least honoring your covenant while you seek help, is the best way to love them and to avoid bringing further confusion and pain into their lives. Wanting not to hurt your husband is right, but continuing a divided heart will hurt him more in the end. Honesty before God, followed by honest steps with pastoral help, is the path toward real peace.

I will pray for you now, not that God would bless a divided path, but that He would give you clarity, courage, and grace to follow His way.

Father, I lift this dear one to You in her confusion and stress. Have mercy on her and forgive her through Jesus Christ. Give her a clear mind to understand Your design for marriage, a soft heart to turn from what is wrong, and strength to do what is right. Comfort her children and her husband, protect this family from further harm, and bring healing where there has been unhappiness for many years. Lead her to faithful people who can support and counsel her in person, and guide her step by step into faithfulness, holiness, and peace. In Jesus name, amen.

Please reach out to a local pastor or Christian counselor this week and let someone you trust walk closely with you as you take these next steps. You are not alone, and God is able to forgive, restore, and give you wisdom as you seek Him.