treeoflife
Account Closed
God, I feel suicidal again this morning. Last night in this abusive and twisted hell was horrible. I need to be able to leave, but had the place I wanted to stay at in ### crap out on me again. I have absolutely no money, and I live in such a desolate area that there is no way to make money. I have no car. I have no friends left, because this depression no matter how much I reach out, people keep getting pushed away. My faith in You is faltering, because I pray to You daily, but go back to a life of picking things out of garbage cans. I would be on the street right now if it weren't winter. This isn't what I wanted for my mid ###. Will You show me a sign You're listening to me at all? Will You do SOMETHING positive in my life, finally? I have called out to You so much, in so many different ways, and I have nothing to show for my prayers and faith. I have lost things instead. I feel cursed by You, and daily instead of love, my body and mind are learning to hate life. I have no reason to live left. If You're listening, now is the time to show me that You care and have a plan. I don't believe in a weak God, or a God that doesn't listen to the prayers of the desperate. I am desperate. I am homeless. I'm in tears. When will You help me, Jesus? Amen in Jesus name.
