Suicidal Thoughts

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segarcia1

Disciple of Prayer
I am tired of this world. I know other people have it worse than me but I'm so tired of everything. I am not where I want to be in life. I have tried and tried and tried and tried to search for God and Jesus by praying with all my heart, singing praise songs, attending church and even reading the Bible. I am tired of feeling angry, then depressed, then acting as if I'm happy. It is a cycle that doesn't stop! I am tired of receiving no answers from God. I am tired of trying to find Him. I have begged with all my heart for Him to help me not feel these negative feelings I have but it does not work. I have spoken for Him to enter my heart but I feel nothing. I try to exercise to eat healthy and nothing works! I am parked by a lake and am tempted to swim in as far as I can possibly go so that I drown. No, I'm not on drugs or alcohol by the way. I am so tempted to send a mass text and mass email to everyone I know to tell them goodbye. The ONLY reason I have not done so is because I unfortunately had it hammered in my head that God exists and that hell exists. I hate this world! I wish with all my heart that I could just sleep forever. No heaven. No hell. Just sleep.
 
Father I am interceding on behalf of your child, shower down your healing, your peace, your calm, reveal yourself, reveal your love, in the powerful name of Christ our Lord, Amen
 
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