segarcia1
Disciple of Prayer
I am tired of this world. I know other people have it worse than me but i'm so fucking tired of everything. I am not where I want to be in life. I have tried and tried and tried and tried to search for god and jesus by praying with all my heart, signing praise songs, attending church and even reading the bible. I am tired of feeling angry, then depressed, then acting as if i'm happy. It is a cycle that doesn't stop! I am tired of receiving no answers from god. I am tired of trying to find him. I have begged With all my heart for him to help me not feel these negative feelings I have but it does not work. I have spoken for him to enter my heart but I feel nothing. I try to exercise to eat healthy and nothing works! I am parked by a lake and am tempted to swim in as far as I can possibly go so that I drown. No i'm not on drugs or alcohol by the way. I am so tempted to send a mass text and mass email to everyone I know to tell them goodbye. The ONLY reason I have not done so is because I unfortunately had it hammered in my head that god exists and that hell exists. I hate this world! I wish with all my heart that I could just sleep forever. No heaven. No hell. Just sleep.
