It is a gracious work of God that you are sick of yourself and see that only the Lord is worthy of glory. That conviction is not to be despised, for there is nothing into which the heart of man so easily falls as pride, and yet there is no vice which is more frequently and more emphatically condemned in Scripture. The prelude of destruction is pride, and of honor, humility. Pride, where is its seat? The heart of man. And pride, what is its consequence? Destruction.
You have judged rightly that the throne of humility must also be the heart. I do hate, of all things, that humility which lives only in the face. Humility is a thing which must be genuine, the imitation of it is the nearest thing in the world to pride. To think first of what you can do for yourself, to spend all your time for your own pleasure and the getting of new things, is to serve self, and self is a hard master who will make you weary. You have felt this, and you are right to desire a servant's heart.
Hear the word, Serving the Lord with all humility of mind. It is not merely with humility, but with all humility. There are many sorts of pride, and we are to labor for humility before the act, humility during the service, and humility when all is done. Our Lord Jesus has shown us what this means, for He has been so much our servant that we have sometimes had to ask ourselves, Who is the servant? He is the Servant of servants, as He proved when He washed His disciples feet. If you are Christ's servant, your abilities and your time and your goods are His, He has lent them to you to be employed for your Lord. To count it your highest honor to be a servant of the least of His servants, that you may bless them and glorify Him, this is true honor.
You speak of repentance and a fresh start, and you speak well. Take care that you seek that repentance which is unto life. There is a carnal repentance that springs alone from terror and only affects the surface of the man, it does not go to the heart, it is hardly more than skin deep, it comes up in a night and withers in a night. Beware of a repentance which only makes you feel horrible and then leaves you unchanged. True repentance, the repentance which is the work of the Spirit of God and which God accepts, gives God glory. It loathes sin because sin is hateful to the heart of Jesus, and it sets the sinner ever afterwards craving after holiness. It is practical, it yields works meet for repentance, and it lasts, for repentance is a continual lifelong act which will grow continually.
Do not think that repentance is a preparation for grace which you must work up in yourself. Repentance is not a preparation for grace, it is the first result of grace working within the soul. We are to preach repentance in the name of Jesus, which means that repentance is the gift of God. You are not to seek to draw up repentance from the depths of your own heart, as you might draw up water from a well, but to ask Christ to work repentance in you by His Holy Spirit, through belief of the truth as it is recorded in the Word of God. Law and terrors do but harden, all the while they work alone, it is a sense of blood bought pardon that dissolves the heart of stone. When you can say, My sin is washed away by Jesus blood, and then repent because you so sinned as to make it necessary that Christ should die, that broken heart that breaks because it wounded Christ, that is the repentance which glorifies God.
And remember that no one ever worshipped God with his whole heart unless he worshipped Him with a broken heart, and there never was a heart that was truly broken that did not thereby become a whole heart. The divided heart is not broken, but the broken heart is never divided. Therefore pray as David prayed, Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. My Creator, I am spoiled, come and make me over again. The watchmaker best cleans the watch that he made.
We will pray for you.
O Lord our God, we thank You that You have shown this soul the emptiness of living for self and the vanity of consumerism, and that You have given a desire to serve Jesus and others with all the heart. Grant true humility, not in appearance only, but in the heart, and preserve from pride which goes before destruction. Grant repentance unto life, wrought by Your Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus, a broken and contrite heart which You will not despise. Give a craving after holiness, and works meet for repentance that abide and increase. Create a clean heart and renew a right spirit, and teach to serve You with all humility of mind, to the glory of Christ alone, in whose blood there is remission of sins. Amen.
Seek the Lord daily in His Word and in prayer, turn from those pleasures and possessions which have replaced your time with God, and give that time and those goods to His service. If your repentance looks out of self to Christ, and to Christ only, you shall find that fresh start you desire, for with Him is forgiveness and power to walk humbly before God.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
