The KEY to this ongoing effort to lose weight and stop loving food so much is keeping my eyes on Jesus. I thought I knew that.
But recently the old rebelliousness has started to rear its ugly head. Lately I've had numerous moments when I just wanted to eat everything in sight (and did). Smells from the grocery store bakery assault me as I walk by. And the fast food places have been calling out again, as I drive by. So much so, that the other day I found myself looking up nutrition values on the internet for Chick-Fil-A menu items (so I could at least "be honest" and record the infractions if I weakened further and "had" to have it.)
What happened? Four months ago I would have said, these tempters had been conquered. The cravings were gone. They were! Getting nervous, I prayed, Lord show me where I went wrong. Why are they calling to me again, and why am I listening? Then I started thinking, "What changed?" And He graciously helped me see.
When I started this journey back in June (unofficially in April, but seriously in June) I was crying out to God constantly. I mean daily, sometimes hourly, Lord, deliver me from my unhealthy desire for bad food. (High calorie, low nutrition) And He answered me. He gave me that deliverance. I no longer thought about the fast food; the bakery section was not calling; life got really easy. I was content, even enjoying everything on my reduced eating plan. But gradually I started focusing more and more on the food. Counting calories, reading labels, etc. And I STOPPED crying out. The counting and reading wasn't a bad thing, but somehow I forgot that it wasn't the key. It wasn't what gave me victory in the first place. Those were only tools, helpful guides to keep me accountable. But my strength, the power to ignore the cravings and the rebellious binging -- that all came from the Lord. It was a Peter moment to me. Not as instantaneous of course, but so similar. I began to look around at everything but the Lord! I must have even subconsciously "thought" I could do it alone. "Thanks God for everything, I can take it from here." And with a few weeks of that, the tempters got stronger. It doesn't take them long. (Galatians 5:16-17)
So...upon this realization, I was back asking God to please forgive me for my pride and selfishness and please walk me through this day and every day ahead. I do not want to go it alone, because I CAN'T go it alone. Ever. And that's okay with me, because He is a much better leader! Keep me humble and thankful and focused on You, and I will give You all the praise! A much better plan and one that works. I have lost 51 lbs so far this year, and it has been ONLY by His grace and strength and the self-control HE blessed me with each day. Food loses it's power over me when my eyes are on Him. It is quite a beautiful and humbling thing to experience. It is really a miracle for me, that takes place one day at a time.
Dear Lord, Help me to continue to see this reality. Never to take you for granted. And never to forget where my strength comes from. And I pray for anyone out there who happens to read this, and is struggling with an addiction, or a bad habit, with greed, or pride, or whatever. I pray they would recognize the only true source of their deliverance, seek You with all their hearts, and see Your amazing power begin to work in their lives, freeing them from the bondage they had given themselves over to, thinking change was impossible. It's NOT. I'm living proof. After around 40 years of struggling with overeating, I am seeing that deliverance take place in my life. What I came to think was impossible, is not at all. You were just waiting for me to let You work. I'm not there yet by any means, but what I've seen You do so far is pretty wonderful. Thank You Lord. All thanks, and glory belong to You! Amen.
Zechariah 4:6
Then he answered and spoke to me, saying, This is the word of Yahweh to Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says Yahweh of hosts.
But recently the old rebelliousness has started to rear its ugly head. Lately I've had numerous moments when I just wanted to eat everything in sight (and did). Smells from the grocery store bakery assault me as I walk by. And the fast food places have been calling out again, as I drive by. So much so, that the other day I found myself looking up nutrition values on the internet for Chick-Fil-A menu items (so I could at least "be honest" and record the infractions if I weakened further and "had" to have it.)
What happened? Four months ago I would have said, these tempters had been conquered. The cravings were gone. They were! Getting nervous, I prayed, Lord show me where I went wrong. Why are they calling to me again, and why am I listening? Then I started thinking, "What changed?" And He graciously helped me see.
When I started this journey back in June (unofficially in April, but seriously in June) I was crying out to God constantly. I mean daily, sometimes hourly, Lord, deliver me from my unhealthy desire for bad food. (High calorie, low nutrition) And He answered me. He gave me that deliverance. I no longer thought about the fast food; the bakery section was not calling; life got really easy. I was content, even enjoying everything on my reduced eating plan. But gradually I started focusing more and more on the food. Counting calories, reading labels, etc. And I STOPPED crying out. The counting and reading wasn't a bad thing, but somehow I forgot that it wasn't the key. It wasn't what gave me victory in the first place. Those were only tools, helpful guides to keep me accountable. But my strength, the power to ignore the cravings and the rebellious binging -- that all came from the Lord. It was a Peter moment to me. Not as instantaneous of course, but so similar. I began to look around at everything but the Lord! I must have even subconsciously "thought" I could do it alone. "Thanks God for everything, I can take it from here." And with a few weeks of that, the tempters got stronger. It doesn't take them long. (Galatians 5:16-17)
So...upon this realization, I was back asking God to please forgive me for my pride and selfishness and please walk me through this day and every day ahead. I do not want to go it alone, because I CAN'T go it alone. Ever. And that's okay with me, because He is a much better leader! Keep me humble and thankful and focused on You, and I will give You all the praise! A much better plan and one that works. I have lost 51 lbs so far this year, and it has been ONLY by His grace and strength and the self-control HE blessed me with each day. Food loses it's power over me when my eyes are on Him. It is quite a beautiful and humbling thing to experience. It is really a miracle for me, that takes place one day at a time.
Dear Lord, Help me to continue to see this reality. Never to take you for granted. And never to forget where my strength comes from. And I pray for anyone out there who happens to read this, and is struggling with an addiction, or a bad habit, with greed, or pride, or whatever. I pray they would recognize the only true source of their deliverance, seek You with all their hearts, and see Your amazing power begin to work in their lives, freeing them from the bondage they had given themselves over to, thinking change was impossible. It's NOT. I'm living proof. After around 40 years of struggling with overeating, I am seeing that deliverance take place in my life. What I came to think was impossible, is not at all. You were just waiting for me to let You work. I'm not there yet by any means, but what I've seen You do so far is pretty wonderful. Thank You Lord. All thanks, and glory belong to You! Amen.
Zechariah 4:6
Then he answered and spoke to me, saying, This is the word of Yahweh to Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says Yahweh of hosts.
