Silas
Beloved of All
Your longing for the gift of healing is not something small. It shows a heart that aches to see broken bodies mended and Christ's power made undeniable. So many of us have read through the book of Acts and felt that holy pull, that aching question: "Lord, why not again? Why not through me?" That desire itself can be a gift, a spark of His own compassion stirring in you.
But remember that every gift of the Spirit is just that, a gift. We don't manufacture it or cling to it by our own strength. The same Spirit who gave a word of knowledge to Peter when Simon the sorcerer came near, or who suddenly entrusted a man with faith for a miracle, is the One who distributes to each as He wills. Sometimes He works in seasons, and a gift seems withdrawn not to punish but to deepen our roots in something far more permanent. I think of Paul, who spoke in tongues more than anyone, yet when he gathered with the church he set it aside because he wanted words that would build others up. He was after love, after the building up of the body, not the thrill of power.
You asked for your gift of healing to be restored. That's an honest request, and I believe God hears it. But I want to share something the Lord burned into my own heart when I was chasing after miracles with fasting and tears. He showed me that there is a more excellent way. Even if I had faith that could move mountains, even if healings and spectacular signs followed my every step, without love I would be nothing. Just noise. A clanging cymbal. The power that held Jesus to the cross was not raw miracle-working ability, but a love so fierce it refused to save itself.
What if, in this season, He is inviting you not simply to recover an ability, but to become the kind of person through whom He can safely pour out His power without your soul being destroyed? The leper came to Jesus and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." The question was never about Jesus’ power, it was about His will. Spend your heart now on that will. Covet earnestly the best gifts, yes, but pursue love above all. As you learn to love the unlovely, to serve in hidden ways, to intercede when no one sees, you are being shaped into a vessel that can carry His healing without cracking under the weight of pride.
Let your prayer become, "Father, let your love so fill me that if I never lay hands on another sick person, I am still satisfied in You. But if You choose to use me, let it be a pure and holy overflow." The gifts of healing are given as the Spirit desires, and sometimes He heals through a surgeon’s hands, through a meal brought to a sufferer, or through the quiet word of knowledge that sets a captive free. The body has many members, and not all are a hand or an eye. Your gift may operate differently now than before, or you may be called simply to stand in the gap with prayer and love while another operates.
Refuse the lie that your significance hangs on a restored title or on public fruit. Rest in the reality that His power over sickness, demons, and the physical realm is undiminished. He can heal a cancer with one whispered command. He doesn't need our personal glory. But He does want our hearts utterly abandoned to Him. So I stand with you in asking for a fresh spiritual transformation, not just a returned gift, but a new baptism of His love that makes every other move of the Spirit flow from the right source. May Jesus draw near and make you whole in the places you least expect, and may He entrust you with whatever portion of His power serves His kingdom best. In His name.
But remember that every gift of the Spirit is just that, a gift. We don't manufacture it or cling to it by our own strength. The same Spirit who gave a word of knowledge to Peter when Simon the sorcerer came near, or who suddenly entrusted a man with faith for a miracle, is the One who distributes to each as He wills. Sometimes He works in seasons, and a gift seems withdrawn not to punish but to deepen our roots in something far more permanent. I think of Paul, who spoke in tongues more than anyone, yet when he gathered with the church he set it aside because he wanted words that would build others up. He was after love, after the building up of the body, not the thrill of power.
You asked for your gift of healing to be restored. That's an honest request, and I believe God hears it. But I want to share something the Lord burned into my own heart when I was chasing after miracles with fasting and tears. He showed me that there is a more excellent way. Even if I had faith that could move mountains, even if healings and spectacular signs followed my every step, without love I would be nothing. Just noise. A clanging cymbal. The power that held Jesus to the cross was not raw miracle-working ability, but a love so fierce it refused to save itself.
What if, in this season, He is inviting you not simply to recover an ability, but to become the kind of person through whom He can safely pour out His power without your soul being destroyed? The leper came to Jesus and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." The question was never about Jesus’ power, it was about His will. Spend your heart now on that will. Covet earnestly the best gifts, yes, but pursue love above all. As you learn to love the unlovely, to serve in hidden ways, to intercede when no one sees, you are being shaped into a vessel that can carry His healing without cracking under the weight of pride.
Let your prayer become, "Father, let your love so fill me that if I never lay hands on another sick person, I am still satisfied in You. But if You choose to use me, let it be a pure and holy overflow." The gifts of healing are given as the Spirit desires, and sometimes He heals through a surgeon’s hands, through a meal brought to a sufferer, or through the quiet word of knowledge that sets a captive free. The body has many members, and not all are a hand or an eye. Your gift may operate differently now than before, or you may be called simply to stand in the gap with prayer and love while another operates.
Refuse the lie that your significance hangs on a restored title or on public fruit. Rest in the reality that His power over sickness, demons, and the physical realm is undiminished. He can heal a cancer with one whispered command. He doesn't need our personal glory. But He does want our hearts utterly abandoned to Him. So I stand with you in asking for a fresh spiritual transformation, not just a returned gift, but a new baptism of His love that makes every other move of the Spirit flow from the right source. May Jesus draw near and make you whole in the places you least expect, and may He entrust you with whatever portion of His power serves His kingdom best. In His name.
