Silas
Beloved of All
I hear the hurt in your words as a parent watching your child sit on the bench while others play, feeling ignored when you have spoken up, and seeing your son wrestle with discouragement and a sense of worthlessness. That is a heavy burden for both of you, and it is right to bring it to the Lord.
Please be assured of this first. Your child's value is not measured by playing time. Jesus made this so clear when He placed a little child in the midst of His disciples and taught them. He said we must become like a little child to even enter the kingdom, and that the way up in His kingdom is down in humility. He also said that whoever receives one such little child in His name receives Him, and He warned us to take heed that we do not despise one of these little ones. Your son is seen, known, and treasured by Jesus. The world may measure worth by who starts the game, but God does not. The enemy would love to use this disappointment to whisper to your child that he is worthless and to damage his faith, and Jesus shows how seriously God takes that. Do not let that lie take root. Keep telling your son in word and action that his worth comes from being made and loved by God, not from a coach's decision.
God also calls parents to train up a child in the way he should go, and that phrase carries the idea of training according to his own bent, his own personality and gifts. Every child is different, and God has made your son uniquely. Your goal is not simply to train him to be successful as the world defines success, or he may gain that and still miss what matters most. Your goal is to help him walk with God faithfully in whatever field He places him. That training takes great patience, like teaching a child to walk. You expect stumbles and falls, you steady him, you encourage him to try again. In the same way, this season on the bench can be part of his training. It is an opportunity to build character that will last far longer than a soccer season, to learn humility, perseverance, diligence, and how to respond with grace when things feel unfair.
It helps to remember that God is sovereign even over difficult and unfair circumstances. When the child Jesus was to be born, the prophecy said He must be born in Bethlehem, yet His family was in Nazareth. God worked through even the decree of a distant ruler to move them to the right place at the right time. He can work through even a coach's favoritism or poor judgment. That does not mean the favoritism is right, but it means God is not limited by it and can still shape your son's life and use this for good in him.
For your son, help him see that proving himself does not have to mean demanding a starting spot. Encourage him to keep working hard at practice, to be a good teammate, to show respect to his coach even when he feels overlooked, and to play with joy when he does get opportunity. Help him to talk honestly to God in his own words, not just repeated phrases, but from his heart about his disappointment and his hope. And for you, continue to affirm him, pray with him, and model a response that does not grow bitter. If you speak to the coach again, do so with gentleness and respect, leaving the outcome in God's hands.
May the Lord lift that weight of discouragement from your son and remind him daily that he is deeply loved and not forgotten. May He give you wisdom to guide him, to nurture his faith, and to help him find his confidence in Christ. And may He turn this hard experience into a place where your son learns that true greatness is found in humility, trust, and faithfulness to Jesus.
I am praying with you that God will guard your son's heart from the lies of the enemy, strengthen him in his faith, comfort him in disappointment, and use you to show him how precious he is to God and to you.
Please be assured of this first. Your child's value is not measured by playing time. Jesus made this so clear when He placed a little child in the midst of His disciples and taught them. He said we must become like a little child to even enter the kingdom, and that the way up in His kingdom is down in humility. He also said that whoever receives one such little child in His name receives Him, and He warned us to take heed that we do not despise one of these little ones. Your son is seen, known, and treasured by Jesus. The world may measure worth by who starts the game, but God does not. The enemy would love to use this disappointment to whisper to your child that he is worthless and to damage his faith, and Jesus shows how seriously God takes that. Do not let that lie take root. Keep telling your son in word and action that his worth comes from being made and loved by God, not from a coach's decision.
God also calls parents to train up a child in the way he should go, and that phrase carries the idea of training according to his own bent, his own personality and gifts. Every child is different, and God has made your son uniquely. Your goal is not simply to train him to be successful as the world defines success, or he may gain that and still miss what matters most. Your goal is to help him walk with God faithfully in whatever field He places him. That training takes great patience, like teaching a child to walk. You expect stumbles and falls, you steady him, you encourage him to try again. In the same way, this season on the bench can be part of his training. It is an opportunity to build character that will last far longer than a soccer season, to learn humility, perseverance, diligence, and how to respond with grace when things feel unfair.
It helps to remember that God is sovereign even over difficult and unfair circumstances. When the child Jesus was to be born, the prophecy said He must be born in Bethlehem, yet His family was in Nazareth. God worked through even the decree of a distant ruler to move them to the right place at the right time. He can work through even a coach's favoritism or poor judgment. That does not mean the favoritism is right, but it means God is not limited by it and can still shape your son's life and use this for good in him.
For your son, help him see that proving himself does not have to mean demanding a starting spot. Encourage him to keep working hard at practice, to be a good teammate, to show respect to his coach even when he feels overlooked, and to play with joy when he does get opportunity. Help him to talk honestly to God in his own words, not just repeated phrases, but from his heart about his disappointment and his hope. And for you, continue to affirm him, pray with him, and model a response that does not grow bitter. If you speak to the coach again, do so with gentleness and respect, leaving the outcome in God's hands.
May the Lord lift that weight of discouragement from your son and remind him daily that he is deeply loved and not forgotten. May He give you wisdom to guide him, to nurture his faith, and to help him find his confidence in Christ. And may He turn this hard experience into a place where your son learns that true greatness is found in humility, trust, and faithfulness to Jesus.
I am praying with you that God will guard your son's heart from the lies of the enemy, strengthen him in his faith, comfort him in disappointment, and use you to show him how precious he is to God and to you.
