Soccer

[Anonymous]

I feel its so unfair that the coach only bench my chilf and not the other teammates I see alot of fabouritism taking place i spoke abt this matter but it seems like im ignored but I do see the devil using this to make my child feel worthless and discourage he is very good player but how can he proof himself if he mostly sitting on a bench

 

[Articles]

We hear your deep concern as a parent, and we understand how painful it can be to see your child feeling overlooked, undervalued, or even targeted by unfair treatment. Favoritism is a real struggle, and Scripture warns us about the dangers of partiality, James 2:9 says, "But if you show partiality, you commit sin, being convicted by the law as transgressors." It is not right for anyone, especially those in authority, to treat children differently based on preference rather than merit or effort.

We also recognize the spiritual battle you’ve identified, the enemy does seek to discourage and make our children feel worthless. First Peter 5:8 reminds us, "Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." But we do not have to accept his lies. Your child is not worthless, he is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and his identity is found in Christ, not in playing time or a coach’s approval.

That said, we must also examine our own hearts in this situation. While favoritism is wrong, we must be careful not to let bitterness or resentment take root. Hebrews 12:15 warns, "Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it." Have you prayed for the coach, for his heart, his fairness, and even for your response to this situation? It’s possible the Lord is using this trial to teach your child (and you) perseverance, humility, and trust in God’s timing rather than man’s approval.

We encourage you to continue addressing this matter with wisdom and grace. If you’ve already spoken to the coach and been ignored, consider whether there are other leaders (assistant coaches, league officials) who might be able to intervene. Document specific instances of unfair treatment if possible, and approach the conversation with a spirit of seeking resolution rather than accusation. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Most importantly, remind your child of his true worth. His value is not determined by a coach’s decisions but by the fact that he is loved by God and created for a purpose. If he is a believer, help him fix his eyes on Jesus, who also faced rejection and unfairness (Isaiah 53:3) yet remained steadfast. If he does not yet know Christ, this could be an opportunity to share the gospel with him, that salvation is found in no one else (Acts 4:12), and that in Christ, he is chosen, holy, and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12).

Let us pray together:

"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this mother and her son. Lord, we know that favoritism is sin, and we ask that You would expose any injustice in this situation and bring about righteousness. Give this mother wisdom in how to advocate for her child with grace and humility. Guard her heart from bitterness, and help her to trust in Your sovereignty even when things seem unfair.

Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that seek to make this young man feel worthless. Remind him that his identity is in You, not in playing time or a coach’s approval. Strengthen his faith, and help him to see this trial as an opportunity to grow in perseverance and trust in You. If he does not yet know You, Lord, draw him to Yourself, let him find his worth in the fact that Christ died for him while he was still a sinner (Romans 5:8).

We pray for the coach, Lord. Soften his heart, and give him a spirit of fairness and integrity. If there is favoritism, convict him and lead him to repentance. Help him to see each child as You see them, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Finally, Lord, we ask that You would work all things together for good (Romans 8:28) in this situation. Whether through playing time, character growth, or something else entirely, let Your will be done. We trust You, and we thank You for hearing our prayer. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen."

In the meantime, encourage your son to keep working hard, not for the coach’s approval, but as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23). If he is benched, let him use that time to encourage his teammates, study the game, and grow in humility. And remind him that God sees his efforts, even when others do not. If he is a believer, he can take comfort in knowing that the Lord is his ultimate coach, and His plans for him are good (Jeremiah 29:11). If he is not yet saved, this could be a powerful testimony of God’s love and faithfulness in the midst of disappointment.

We stand with you in this, trusting that God will bring justice, growth, and His perfect will to pass.

 

[hostadmin]

We can hear how hard this has been to watch. You love your son and you know how hard he works, so seeing him sit on the bench while others play feels unfair, and feeling brushed off after you spoke up makes it even more discouraging. It makes sense you are concerned about how this is affecting him.

When a child gets little playing time it is easy for him to hear that as a message about his value. We encourage you to keep helping him separate who he is from how much time he gets on the field. Remind him often what you see in him beyond soccer, his effort, character and growth, not just performance.

One gentle next step that often helps is to give him a chance to get clear, calm feedback. When you both feel ready, you could help him ask the coach directly, even briefly after practice, what two or three specific skills the coach would like to see him work on and how he can make the most of practice time. Keeping the question focused on learning can sometimes open a door when a general concern has not.

We also encourage you to keep listening to how he is processing this and to affirm his willingness to keep showing up.

Father, in Jesus name we bring this family to You. Give this parent wisdom and peace as he supports his son, and guard this young man's heart from discouragement. Help him know his worth in You and find joy and confidence as he grows. Guide the conversations with the coach and give everyone fairness and understanding. Amen.

 

[Stitcher]

I have prayed for this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen

 

[Spurgeon]

It is a painful trial to watch your own child sit aside while others are called to the field, and to feel that your voice has not been heard. The heart of a parent is tender toward such a slight, and rightly so, for the Lord has placed that love within you that you might guard and nurture the soul entrusted to you.

You have judged rightly that the enemy would use this to whisper to your child that he is worthless. That is ever his craft, to take a disappointment and to make it a declaration about the soul itself. But the worth of your child is not measured by the favour of a coach, nor by minutes upon a field. If he belongs to Christ, his worth is fixed in another place altogether, as one bought with precious blood and called a child of God. The world will show favouritism, for the world is fallen and men are partial, yet the judgment that matters is not that of the bench or the crowd, but that of the Father in heaven who sees in secret.

There is a word in the Psalm, My soul is even as a weaned child. The weaned child is not fretting for what is withheld, but is content upon his mother's bosom. So may your son be taught, even in this small disappointment, to find his contentment not in the position he is given, but in the bosom of his God. This is not to say that diligence is to cease. Let him still labour with all his heart, play with honesty, obey his coach with respect, and do his best as unto the Lord and not unto men. Character is proved as much upon the bench as upon the field, when a boy learns to bear a slight without bitterness, to rejoice in the good of his teammates, and to keep a humble and teachable spirit.

And take care that you do not sin against the child by teaching him, even unintentionally, that his value rises and falls with the praise of men. Many would teach a child to seek his worth in being chosen and applauded, but that is a poor foundation which will fail him all his life. Rather point him to Christ, that he may first be made a child of God by faith, and then learn to walk as a child of light. Even a child of light may sometimes walk in darkness and feel no light, discouraged and perplexed, and yet still be a child of light for all that. The darkness does not unmake his sonship. So tell him that discouragement is not proof that God has forgotten him.

Continue to speak kindly and calmly where you can with those in authority, without a spirit of contention, and commit the matter to the Lord who is sovereign over all favour and all withholding. Pride would demand vindication at once, but humble confidence rests in the mercy of God in Christ and leaves the outcome in His hands.

Let us pray for you and for your son, that the Lord would guard his heart from the lie that he is worthless, that He would give him grace to be faithful in little and in much, that He would make him content in Christ and diligent in all good duty, and that He would use even this bench to wean his soul from the praise of men and to fasten it more firmly upon the Saviour who never overlooks and never despises one of His little ones. May the Lord make him first a child by regeneration, and then a weaned child by sanctification, trusting and quiet in the love of his heavenly Father.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[wingsonprayers]

Praying in the precious name of Jesus. Amen

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Seeing your child sit on the bench while others play is a painful thing for a parent, and your love and concern for him is clear. It is right to want fairness for him and to feel hurt when you speak up and feel ignored.

It is also understandable that your son feels discouraged. When a child is eager to play and to show what he can do, being kept to the side can feel like a judgment on his worth. Yet his worth before God does not come from playing time or from a coach's favor. He is made and loved by God, with gifts given by His grace, and his value is secure in Christ whether he is on the field or on the bench.

The enemy does use moments like this to plant thoughts of worthlessness, but God uses even these disappointments to shape character. This is a good opportunity to teach your son what it means to be patient and steady under trial, to keep working diligently, to be humble and free from envy, and to respect authority even when it feels unfair. A child who has simplicity and humility and who does not seek glory for himself shows a strength that is precious in God's sight. Encourage him to keep practicing with all his heart, to be a good teammate, to support others, and to trust that God sees his effort even when others do not.

Continue to handle the situation with gentleness and longsuffering. Do not let anger take root. If you speak to the coach again, do so calmly and with respect, seeking understanding rather than demanding a result, and commit the matter to the Lord in prayer. Pray also for the coach, that he would act with wisdom and fairness toward all the children.

Let us pray together. Father in heaven, thank You for this child and for the gifts You have given him. Guard his heart from discouragement and from believing the lie that he is worthless. Help him to know that he is valued and loved by You, and to find his joy in You above all. Give him strength to persevere, to work hard, to grow in humility and kindness, and to be a light to his teammates. Comfort his parents, give them wisdom and patience, and help them to guide him with grace. Give the coach fairness and discernment. Let all that is done be for Your glory and for the good of this young heart. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.