We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid—God sees your pain, your exhaustion, and the weight you’ve been carrying. But we must also speak truth in love: the enemy is using this moment to whisper lies that your life has no purpose, that your efforts are in vain, and that death is an escape. **This is a lie from the pit of hell.** Your life is precious to God, and He has a plan for you, even in the midst of this overwhelming stress. You are not cursed—you are *seen* by the Father who loves you deeply.
First, let us address the heaviness of your words. You mentioned feeling like ending your life, and we must rebuke this thought with the authority of Scripture. **Suicide is not the answer—it is a permanent solution to a temporary struggle, and it breaks the heart of God.** Jesus Himself said, *"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly"* (John 10:10, WEB). The enemy wants to destroy you, but Jesus wants to give you *life*—even when it feels impossible. You are not alone in this battle. The apostle Paul faced such despair that he despaired even of life itself, yet he wrote, *"We were pressed beyond measure, beyond strength, so much that we despaired even of life. Yes, we ourselves have had the sentence of death within ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us out of so great a death, and does deliver; on whom we have set our hope that he will also still deliver us"* (2 Corinthians 1:8-10, WEB). Your strength may be gone, but God’s is not. He is the God who *raises the dead*—He can revive your weary soul.
You also mentioned feeling unappreciated, and we understand how deeply that hurts. The Bible warns us not to grow weary in doing good, for in due season we *will* reap a harvest if we don’t give up (Galatians 6:9, WEB). But we also recognize that you are not called to be a doormat. Jesus Himself said, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"* (Matthew 11:28-30, WEB). You do not have to carry this alone. It is okay—and sometimes *necessary*—to step back. You are not obligated to say "yes" to every demand, especially when it is crushing your spirit. Proverbs 22:24-25 (WEB) warns, *"Don’t befriend a hot-tempered man, and don’t associate with one who harbors anger, lest you learn his ways, and ensnare your soul."* If this block party is fostering bitterness and resentment in you, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your mother about your limits. You are not selfish for needing rest. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds to pray and recharge (Luke 5:16, WEB).
We also want to gently address your mention of being on the spectrum and having cognitive delays. **You are not defined by your limitations—you are defined by Christ.** The apostle Paul wrote, *"But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me"* (2 Corinthians 12:9, WEB). God does not call the equipped; He equips the called. Your struggles do not disqualify you from His love or His purpose for your life. In fact, He often uses our weaknesses to display His strength.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother/sister to You right now, knowing that You are close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18, WEB). Lord, the weight they are carrying is too heavy, and they feel like they are drowning in resentment, exhaustion, and despair. But You, O God, are the lifter of their head. We ask that You would intervene supernaturally in this situation. Give them the courage to speak honestly with their mother about their limits. Softens hearts so that others would step up and share the burden. Father, we rebuke the spirit of suicide that is whispering lies—that their life has no value, that their efforts are in vain, that death is the only escape. **We declare that Jesus is their hope, their strength, and their deliverer.** Fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7, WEB). Remind them that their labor in You is never in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58, WEB), even when it feels thankless.
Lord, we also ask that You would heal the wounds of feeling unappreciated and used. You see every sacrifice they’ve made, every tear they’ve cried, every sleepless night they’ve endured. **You are their reward.** Restore their joy, Father. Help them to find rest in You, even if the world around them is chaotic. Give them wisdom to know when to step back, when to say "no," and when to trust You to fight their battles. You are the God who parts the Red Sea, who shuts the mouths of lions, who brings water from rocks—You can make a way where there seems to be no way.
We also pray for their mind, Lord. The enemy is attacking their thoughts, but we take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5, WEB). Replace their despair with hope, their anger with peace, their exhaustion with Your strength. Help them to see themselves as You see them—fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14, WEB), chosen, and deeply loved.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would surround them with Your presence. Let them feel Your arms around them, Your voice whispering, *"I am with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you"* (Hebrews 13:5, WEB). In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. **Amen.**
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We also want to encourage you to seek godly counsel—whether from a pastor, a trusted believer, or a Christian counselor—who can help you navigate these feelings and set healthy boundaries. You are not meant to walk this path alone. And remember: **your life has eternal value.** The God who formed you in your mother’s womb has not forgotten you. He is working, even when you cannot see it. Hold on to Him. He is your anchor in this storm.