Dhitlor

Good and Faithful Servant
Please pray for me: my sister is mistreating me while I'm going through a difficult time in my life and for no reason and I'm tired of it. She has always treated me, my mother, my father and my other sister terribly and different from the rest of the family for whatever reason. She can be so unsupportive and unkind and just plain mean and selfish but whenever she needs us, we're right there for her. If she needs us to do something for her like childcare and she's been mistreating us, then she'll switch and be nice to us. I no longer want a relationship with her. I am tired of her making me feel the way she does. She is a professing Christian. Thank you.
 
We have heard your heart and we carry your burden with you before the Lord in Jesus' name, especially as you are walking through a difficult season and feeling wounded by your sister.

We understand how exhausting it is to be treated unkindly and differently by someone in your own family, and to feel that her kindness only appears when she wants something from you such as childcare. That kind of conditional treatment is painful and confusing, and we do not take lightly how tired you feel. At the same time we want to gently speak truth over this situation as Scripture calls us to.

The behavior you describe in your sister, being unsupportive, unkind, mean and selfish toward you, your mother, your father and your other sister, and then switching to niceness when she needs help, is not reflecting the love of Christ. We must rebuke that pattern because it does not align with God's Word. Ephesians 4:31-32 says Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. And 1 John 4:20 says If a man says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen. A professing Christian is called to bear fruit in keeping with repentance and to love family sacrificially, not to use them. Her actions need to be brought into the light in love, and if possible through a loving, honest conversation as Matthew 18:15 teaches, If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. We encourage you to seek wise and godly counsel, perhaps a pastor or mature believer, to help you address this pattern with her in a biblical way rather than carrying it alone.

We also hear you saying you no longer want a relationship with her at all. We understand that desire to pull away to protect your heart, and Scripture does call us to guard our hearts and to not be unequally yoked with those who persist in harmful behavior, and to set healthy boundaries. Yet we also want to encourage you not to let hurt harden into bitterness or a permanent closing of the door to reconciliation. Hebrews 12:15 warns us to look carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it. And Romans 12:18 says If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. This does not mean you must subject yourself to ongoing mistreatment or be available to be used, but it does mean we are called to forgive from the heart as Christ forgave us, Colossians 3:13, to not repay evil for evil, Romans 12:17, and to love and pray for those who mistreat us, Matthew 5:44. Forgiveness releases you before the Lord even when trust must be rebuilt slowly and with clear boundaries. It is right to say no to being manipulated, to limit what you do for her when it enables her unkindness, and to speak the truth in love with gentleness, Proverbs 15:1, Ephesians 4:15, while still keeping your heart open to what God might do to convict and restore her.

In this difficult time you are going through, we want you to know God sees you and is near to you. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And Isaiah 41:10 says Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. He is your refuge when family support fails.

We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and that our prayers are heard. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus Christ for salvation and for daily help, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and confessing Him as Lord, Romans 10:9, so that you may walk in His grace and power to love and forgive even when it is hard.

We pray together with you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the precious name of Jesus Christ and lift up our dear sister to You. You know the weariness in her heart, the pain of being mistreated by her own sister during a difficult time, and the history of unkindness toward her parents and family. Lord, we ask You to comfort her, to strengthen her, and to uphold her with Your right hand. Heal her broken heart and guard her from bitterness. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven her, and give her wisdom to set healthy, loving boundaries that honor You. We ask You to convict her sister where she is acting selfishly and unkindly, to open her eyes to how she is treating her family, and to bring her to genuine repentance and to walk in kindness and tenderheartedness. Bring truth into the light and if it is Your will, bring reconciliation and peace to this family. Lead them both to seek You first and to love one another as Christ loves us. Give our sister discernment, courage to speak the truth in love, and surrounding support from mature believers. We ask all of this in Jesus' name, trusting in Your mercy and Your power to restore. Amen.

We encourage you to continue to bring this to the Lord daily, to stay rooted in His Word, to not isolate yourself but lean on godly community, and to keep doing good without growing weary, Romans 12:21 says Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. We are standing with you in prayer that God will bring healing to your heart, wisdom for your next steps, and His peace that passes understanding to guard you.
 
We hear how tired you are, trying to walk through a hard season while feeling mistreated by your own sister. It hurts especially when the kindness only appears when she needs something like childcare, and then the meanness returns. That back and forth is exhausting, and it makes sense you would want distance right now.

We want you to know wanting space does not mean you have failed. In our faith we often talk about forgiveness and reconciliation as if they are the same thing, but they are not. You can make a quiet decision before God to release the debt and not seek payback, even while you still need time for your heart to catch up and for trust to be rebuilt. And you can love someone while also setting clear limits on how and when you engage, especially when the pattern has been hurtful for so long and has touched your parents and other sister too.

One thing that has helped others in a similar spot is to get clarity before the next request comes. It can help to write down privately what feels sustainable for you in this season, for example what you will and will not do around favors, how you will respond if unkind words come, and who you can talk with for support, and then share that plan with a trusted pastor or counselor who knows you both.

Father, we lift this sister to You in her weariness. Give her wisdom for each interaction, rest for her heart, and healing where she has been wounded. Guard her and her family, soften what is hard, and lead both sisters in Your way. In Jesus' name, amen.
 
Your sorrow has been laid before the Lord and heard with tender compassion, and I thank you for opening your heart so plainly. To be wounded in the house of your own kindred, and that repeatedly, and while you are already in a season of trial, is a heavy burden indeed. The Lord knows how wearying it is to receive unkindness where you have looked for comfort, and to feel that love is returned with selfishness and changeableness, kindness shown only when something is wanted.

Yet hear what the Word of the Lord declares, for there is forgiveness with Him. Before we can rightly deal with the injuries done to us, we must first look to the forgiveness we ourselves have received. Our great debt before God was absolute and we had nothing to pay with, but He has blotted it out and nailed the record to the cross. That forgiveness is not given by measure, nor with conditions of merit in us, but freely, completely and eternally for Christ's sake. He not only forgave us at the first, but He continues daily to forgive, and His gifts and calling are without repentance. When the heart truly believes this, that there is forgiveness with God through the blood of Jesus, despair flees and healing begins. For pardon and healing are one. When Jesus said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins be forgiven thee, the palsied man found both forgiveness and strength to rise.

It is this pattern which is now set before you. Even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. The forgiveness we have received is divine, surprising and complete, though our sins were many and great. So the forgiveness we are called to show is to reflect that same grace. It is not to say that the wrong was not wrong, or that bitter words and selfish deeds do not wound. They do. But to forgive as Christ forgave is to release the debt into His hands, to refuse to nurse bitterness, and to will good toward the offender even while wisdom guards the heart.

You say you no longer want a relationship with her, and I understand the weariness that would speak so. The flesh cries out to shut the door forever when it has been hurt so often. Yet the way of Christ is not to cherish that desire, but to bring it to Him and ask Him to soften and sustain you. Forgiveness does not always mean that trust is instantly restored, or that you must place yourself without wisdom where you will be used and then cast aside. Love can be firm and yet forgiving. But forgiveness does mean that you will not harbor malice, that you will pray for her, and that you will remain ready, by the grace of God, to overcome evil with good rather than to be overcome by it.

She professes to know Christ, and for that reason we have double cause to pray for her, that the Lord would search her heart and lead her to see how unlike Christ is an unkind and self seeking spirit. Pray that He would grant her repentance and a tender conscience toward her family. And pray for yourself, that the Lord would keep you from the hardness that long provocation can breed, and that He would give you that meek and quiet spirit which is precious in His sight.

Will you take this course before the Lord. First, seek afresh the assurance of your own forgiveness in Christ, believing with Luther that the creed is for you, I believe in the forgiveness of sins, even mine. Second, in the strength of that received mercy, choose to forgive your sister from the heart, not because she has earned it, but because Christ has forgiven you. Third, commit your way to the Lord concerning boundaries and fellowship. Seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature believer who knows you both, that you may act not in sudden heat but in love, truth and prudence, speaking the truth in love where it may be heard, and quietly entrusting to God what you cannot mend.

May the Lord heal you. The leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and even the least thing about Christ has healing virtue to change the life blood and make the nature new. May He lift this heaviness from you, keep you from saying I am sick in the depths of your soul, and give you peace that flows from knowing your iniquity is forgiven.

Let us pray together. O Father, with whom there is forgiveness, look upon this Thy child in her distress. Thou knowest the wounds given by a sister's tongue and the weariness of many years. Forgive her sins as Thou hast promised to all who trust in Jesus, and let that forgiveness be her comfort and strength. Teach her to forgive even as Christ forgave her, and keep her heart from bitterness. Work also in her sister, bring conviction where there is unkindness, and bring reconciliation where it is possible, for Thy glory. Grant wisdom to know how to love with both grace and truth, and let healing come from Thy pardoning hand. In the name of Jesus Christ our only Saviour, Amen.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 
Your honesty about how tired and hurt you feel is heard, and God does not overlook the pain of being mistreated in your own family, especially while you are already going through a difficult season. It is deeply wounding when kindness is returned with unkindness, and when love is shown only when something is wanted in return.

Scripture teaches that the way we receive forgiveness is tied to the way we forgive others. We all stand in need of great mercy from God for much greater debts than any person owes us, and He calls us to have a gentle and human soul, to choose forgiveness even when it costs us. This does not require a long journey or great effort, only a willing heart before Him. To forgive does not mean to pretend the hurt did not happen or to say that unkind behavior is acceptable. It means to release malice and the desire to repay, and to hand both judgment and healing over to God.

There is wisdom also in not rushing into conflict. When we are not summoned to fight, we are taught to be quiet and wait, and when we must stand, to do so with nobleness of spirit and without pride. You do not need to seek out a confrontation to prove a point, and you do not need to carry bitterness to protect yourself. You can step back from harmful patterns, set clear and loving boundaries, and still keep your heart free from hatred.

It may help to bring your hurts before God specifically, naming them honestly so you can see both the wound and the grace you have received from Him. Ask Him to show you where you need His strength to love well, and ask Him to work in your sisters heart as well, since she also professes Christ and will give an account to Him. If possible, seek counsel from a trusted pastor or mature believer who knows you both, and if a conversation is needed, speak the truth in love without seeking to injure in return.

I will pray for you, that God will comfort you in this difficult time, guard your heart from bitterness, give you wisdom for boundaries, and help you to forgive as you have been forgiven, so that you may know His peace. I will also pray for your sister, that God would lead her to see how her actions affect others and bring her to genuine repentance and kindness, and for your whole family, that God would bring healing and a more Christlike love among you.
 

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