Silas
Beloved of All
It's no surprise that you feel the sting of being treated differently. When your own mind and body seem to put you at odds with the world around you, the loneliness and frustration can cut deep. You long for things to simply be taken care of, for the inequality to stop. And often, the harder you strive to right those wrongs, the more you find yourself like a stormy sea that cannot rest, tossing and churning without ever reaching the shore.
But what if the peace you're truly seeking begins somewhere else entirely? The deepest source of rest is not found in changed circumstances, though those may come, but in a settled relationship with your Maker. The Bible presents us with a stunning truth: through faith in Jesus Christ, we have peace with God. We were once at war with Him in our hearts, a war that spills over into every other part of life. When you're at enmity with God, you end up at war with yourself, and it puts you at war with everybody else. But God has offered a peace treaty to you. He calls out, "Peace, peace, to him that is far off and to him that is near," and promises to heal you. That offer is for you right now in your exhaustion. He is our peace who has broken down the walls.
When you come to Him, you become a new creation. The old way of seeing yourself, defined by a diagnosis or the limitations others impose, begins to lose its grip. You are a whole new nationality, a new race of people. That doesn't mean your struggles with AuDHD vanish overnight, but it does mean your identity is no longer rooted in them. Your value and your future are anchored elsewhere. You can face the reality of life—even the parts that feel relentlessly unfair—and still rejoice in a hope that goes far beyond this span of seventy years or so. If God can take a caterpillar and give it a body for a totally new environment, then He can and will give you a body adapted for a new heaven and a new earth where inequality and misunderstanding are wiped away forever.
Your practical desires are not foolish. Wanting to provide for yourself, to have financial peace, and to find a wife are natural and good. Scripture itself says that every man should have his own wife, and every wife her own husband. These are not things to feel guilty for. But be cautious that the pursuit of them doesn't become a consuming turmoil. A married man cares for the things of the world, how he may please his wife. If you marry, you have not sinned, but such shall have trouble in the flesh, and I would spare you from unnecessary heartache by rushing ahead of God's timing. Instead of anxiously fighting for recognition or forcing others to understand, let gentleness become your beautiful trait, a fruit of the Spirit. The wisdom from above is peaceable, gentle. A soft answer turns away wrath. When someone presses you about your job or your situation, you don't have to arm yourself for battle. You can stand up for yourself by speaking truth in love, and then trusting God with the outcome. The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
Do not let your heart be a boiling cauldron over these things. Be honest about your needs before the Lord. He knows you want to move out, to be financially stable, to have a wife. Pray about everything, and then let the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. You don't have to live in constant fear or anxiety. Your life may not look like a mansion or a celebrity's, but the God of peace will heal you and provide. Keep walking as He walked, abiding in Him, and see how He works in the midst of your very real struggles.
But what if the peace you're truly seeking begins somewhere else entirely? The deepest source of rest is not found in changed circumstances, though those may come, but in a settled relationship with your Maker. The Bible presents us with a stunning truth: through faith in Jesus Christ, we have peace with God. We were once at war with Him in our hearts, a war that spills over into every other part of life. When you're at enmity with God, you end up at war with yourself, and it puts you at war with everybody else. But God has offered a peace treaty to you. He calls out, "Peace, peace, to him that is far off and to him that is near," and promises to heal you. That offer is for you right now in your exhaustion. He is our peace who has broken down the walls.
When you come to Him, you become a new creation. The old way of seeing yourself, defined by a diagnosis or the limitations others impose, begins to lose its grip. You are a whole new nationality, a new race of people. That doesn't mean your struggles with AuDHD vanish overnight, but it does mean your identity is no longer rooted in them. Your value and your future are anchored elsewhere. You can face the reality of life—even the parts that feel relentlessly unfair—and still rejoice in a hope that goes far beyond this span of seventy years or so. If God can take a caterpillar and give it a body for a totally new environment, then He can and will give you a body adapted for a new heaven and a new earth where inequality and misunderstanding are wiped away forever.
Your practical desires are not foolish. Wanting to provide for yourself, to have financial peace, and to find a wife are natural and good. Scripture itself says that every man should have his own wife, and every wife her own husband. These are not things to feel guilty for. But be cautious that the pursuit of them doesn't become a consuming turmoil. A married man cares for the things of the world, how he may please his wife. If you marry, you have not sinned, but such shall have trouble in the flesh, and I would spare you from unnecessary heartache by rushing ahead of God's timing. Instead of anxiously fighting for recognition or forcing others to understand, let gentleness become your beautiful trait, a fruit of the Spirit. The wisdom from above is peaceable, gentle. A soft answer turns away wrath. When someone presses you about your job or your situation, you don't have to arm yourself for battle. You can stand up for yourself by speaking truth in love, and then trusting God with the outcome. The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
Do not let your heart be a boiling cauldron over these things. Be honest about your needs before the Lord. He knows you want to move out, to be financially stable, to have a wife. Pray about everything, and then let the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. You don't have to live in constant fear or anxiety. Your life may not look like a mansion or a celebrity's, but the God of peace will heal you and provide. Keep walking as He walked, abiding in Him, and see how He works in the midst of your very real struggles.
