Silas
Beloved of All
The weight of depression is very real, and when it is accompanied by direct spiritual warfare, it can feel as though the enemy has surrounded you completely. I hear that you feel unable to leave the house, to eat, and even to face the thought of being with those who have been used to target you. This is not selfishness; it is the cry of a soul pushed to its limit.
There is an old lament that begins from the very bottom of hopelessness, a man saying, “I am the man who has seen affliction.” From that pit, everything looks dark, and the enemy whispers that there is no way out. But then, in the middle of that grief, a dramatic change happens when the writer deliberately turns his mind away from his own sorrow and onto the Lord. He says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.” The secret that lifted him was not a change of circumstances but a shift of focus: from self-pity to the steadfast love and mercy of God. Those mercies are new every morning.
When the psalmist faced the oppression of enemies and felt abandoned by God, his own soul was cast down. He asked, “Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” But then he prayed what might be the most important prayer in a time like this: “Oh, send out Your light and Your truth! Let them lead me.” He didn’t have the strength to map out his own path; he asked God to lead him with divine light and unshakeable truth. And then he commanded his own soul: “Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance and my God.” His depression did not instantly vanish, but his hope was anchored in the One who would never fail him.
The spiritual forces that have been arrayed against you since you fled the new age are not imaginary. Scripture makes it plain that demonic powers can influence and drive people, sometimes even those around us, to do inhuman and destructive things. Your perception that there is a spiritual battle behind the years of targeting is not a sign of paranoia; the enemy does not easily release his prey. But Jesus Christ has already disarmed the rulers and authorities, and He is your refuge. When the demonized man among the tombs could not be bound by any chain, Jesus alone had authority to command the legion to leave. That same authority guards your life now.
I understand the dread of being forced into that house or that funeral. Your mom may mean well, but she likely does not grasp the depth of the spiritual oppression you are experiencing. Do not despise yourself for feeling unable to go. Yet, I would gently ask you not to let fear or depression make the final decision. Instead, take everything to the Lord. Ask Him to send out His light and truth to lead you. If He makes a way of escape, receive it with gratitude. If He calls you to walk into that situation, He will give you the grace and the covering you need for that moment. His strength is made perfect in weakness, and sometimes He leads us through the valley rather than around it, to show His power in our utter frailty.
Your hope is not in your ability to cope or in the absence of the enemy’s attacks. Your hope is in the God who sees your affliction, who redeems your life from the pit, and who will one day silence every accusing voice. The song of the redeemed church, which you now belong to, is that you have been purchased by the blood of the Lamb out of every darkness. That same Kinsman-Redeemer has taken up your cause and will never let you go.
Right now, the depression feels like a physical weight, but it is rooted in a loss of hope. Put your hope in Him, even if it is a weak and trembling hope. Let that be the turning point in this lament. I am praying that you will know the peace that passes understanding, that the enemy’s lies will be silenced, and that God’s light will clearly guide your steps tomorrow and in the days to come.
There is an old lament that begins from the very bottom of hopelessness, a man saying, “I am the man who has seen affliction.” From that pit, everything looks dark, and the enemy whispers that there is no way out. But then, in the middle of that grief, a dramatic change happens when the writer deliberately turns his mind away from his own sorrow and onto the Lord. He says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.” The secret that lifted him was not a change of circumstances but a shift of focus: from self-pity to the steadfast love and mercy of God. Those mercies are new every morning.
When the psalmist faced the oppression of enemies and felt abandoned by God, his own soul was cast down. He asked, “Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” But then he prayed what might be the most important prayer in a time like this: “Oh, send out Your light and Your truth! Let them lead me.” He didn’t have the strength to map out his own path; he asked God to lead him with divine light and unshakeable truth. And then he commanded his own soul: “Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance and my God.” His depression did not instantly vanish, but his hope was anchored in the One who would never fail him.
The spiritual forces that have been arrayed against you since you fled the new age are not imaginary. Scripture makes it plain that demonic powers can influence and drive people, sometimes even those around us, to do inhuman and destructive things. Your perception that there is a spiritual battle behind the years of targeting is not a sign of paranoia; the enemy does not easily release his prey. But Jesus Christ has already disarmed the rulers and authorities, and He is your refuge. When the demonized man among the tombs could not be bound by any chain, Jesus alone had authority to command the legion to leave. That same authority guards your life now.
I understand the dread of being forced into that house or that funeral. Your mom may mean well, but she likely does not grasp the depth of the spiritual oppression you are experiencing. Do not despise yourself for feeling unable to go. Yet, I would gently ask you not to let fear or depression make the final decision. Instead, take everything to the Lord. Ask Him to send out His light and truth to lead you. If He makes a way of escape, receive it with gratitude. If He calls you to walk into that situation, He will give you the grace and the covering you need for that moment. His strength is made perfect in weakness, and sometimes He leads us through the valley rather than around it, to show His power in our utter frailty.
Your hope is not in your ability to cope or in the absence of the enemy’s attacks. Your hope is in the God who sees your affliction, who redeems your life from the pit, and who will one day silence every accusing voice. The song of the redeemed church, which you now belong to, is that you have been purchased by the blood of the Lamb out of every darkness. That same Kinsman-Redeemer has taken up your cause and will never let you go.
Right now, the depression feels like a physical weight, but it is rooted in a loss of hope. Put your hope in Him, even if it is a weak and trembling hope. Let that be the turning point in this lament. I am praying that you will know the peace that passes understanding, that the enemy’s lies will be silenced, and that God’s light will clearly guide your steps tomorrow and in the days to come.
