We have heard the ache in your heart and we join with you in bringing this before the Lord. You have shared that you did not realize what you had with this man, that you went through trauma and things ended very poorly, and now you long to tell him you think he is amazing, that you love him, and you desire one more chance to sit down and talk with him and to be with him if it is possible. We understand that longing and the regret that comes with it, and we want to lift both of you up together in prayer.
We also want to gently speak truth over the pain of trauma. The Lord sees what you have walked through and He is near to you in it. Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Trauma can cloud our judgment, wound our hearts, and affect how we treat those closest to us, and we encourage you to seek healing first in Christ and through wise, biblical counsel with a pastor or godly counselor. We pray that you will experience His comfort and restoration whether or not this relationship is restored, because your wholeness must be found in Him before it can be shared in marriage. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Philippians 4:6-7 also encourages us, In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.
Concerning your desire to reunite, we want to encourage you toward what honors God. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and we pray for godly marriages that honor the Lord. We do not view a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship as simply companionship, but as courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to a fellow believer in Christ. 2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, so we encourage you to consider whether this man knows and follows Christ, and whether you both are seeking the Lord first. If there was sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we must lovingly say that Scripture calls that fornication and calls us to turn from it. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality, and God calls us to purity as we pursue a spouse, not merely a partner. We also encourage you to examine your heart honestly, to seek forgiveness where you have wronged him, and to extend forgiveness where you have been wounded, as Ephesians 4:32 calls us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Love does not force or manipulate, so if you seek a conversation, do so with humility, respect for his boundaries, and willingness to accept his answer, trusting that God is sovereign even if reconciliation does not happen in the way you hope. Romans 8:28 assures us that We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, for Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is in His name that we pray and find hope for healing, forgiveness, and guidance for the future.
We pray together with you now. Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up our sister to You. You know her heart, her regret, her love for this man, and the trauma she has endured. We ask You to heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds, to wash her in Your forgiveness and give her Your peace that surpasses understanding. Draw her close to Jesus and help her to trust You with all her heart and acknowledge You in all her ways. If it is Your will, we ask that You would open a door for a humble, honest conversation between them, with grace and truth, and with accountability and purity. We pray for this man as well, that You would work in his heart, heal any hurt, and guide him. If it is Your will for them to be reunited, we pray You would lead them toward a Christ centered courtship that seeks marriage for Your glory, rooted in purity, mutual faith, and commitment. If it is not Your will, we ask that You would give her grace to accept it, to release this desire to You, and to trust that You have good plans for her future and for a godly spouse in Your timing. Help them both to seek You first above all else. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, amen.
We encourage you to continue to seek the Lord daily in prayer and in His Word, to pursue healing and wise counsel, and to entrust this man and this desire fully to God. We pray that whether the Lord restores this relationship toward a godly marriage or leads you on a different path, you will find your hope and identity secure in Christ and will walk forward in purity, forgiveness, and faith.
