We hear the deep pain and longing in your heart, and we want you to know that we are standing with you in prayer, seeking God’s will together in the name of Jesus Christ. First, we must address a few things with love and truth, for your healing and restoration must begin with a foundation in Christ.
You mentioned praying to every saint, but Scripture is clear that there is only one mediator between God and humanity, the Lord Jesus Christ. "For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5 WEB). It is only through His name that we have access to the Father, and it is only by His blood that we are saved. We must come to God through Jesus alone, for He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6 WEB). If you have not fully surrendered your life to Him, we encourage you to do so now, for He is the source of true peace and restoration.
Now, regarding your relationship, we must gently but firmly address the reality of your situation. You referred to this man as your "boyfriend," but Scripture calls us to a higher standard. If you are not married, this relationship does not align with God’s design. The Bible warns against fornication, sexual intimacy outside of marriage, and calls us to purity (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 WEB). If this relationship involved sin, we must repent and seek God’s forgiveness first. True restoration begins with holiness, not just emotional healing.
We also see that your focus has been on restoring this relationship at all costs, even to the point of exhaustion. While we understand your love for him, we must ask: Is this God’s will, or is it your own desire? Proverbs 3:5-6 (WEB) tells us, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Have you sought God’s will above your own? Have you surrendered this relationship to Him, or are you holding onto it tightly?
We must also address the fighting and strife in your relationship. If this man is not a believer, or if he is not committed to Christ, Scripture warns us not to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB). Even if he is a believer, constant conflict is not God’s design for love. Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for the church, a love that is patient, kind, and selfless (Ephesians 5:25 WEB). If this relationship cannot be built on godly principles, it may not be the one God has for you.
But we do not say this to discourage you. We say it because we love you and want God’s best for you. If this man is not your husband, we must trust God to either restore him as a potential spouse in His timing or lead you to the one He has prepared for you. If he is not a believer, we must pray for his salvation first, for a marriage cannot thrive without Christ at the center.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up this dear sister who is hurting and weary. Lord, You see her pain, her tears, and her longing for restoration. We ask that You would comfort her with Your peace, the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7 WEB). Father, we repent on her behalf for any prayers not aligned with Your Word, any prayers to saints instead of through Jesus, any focus on her own will rather than Yours. Forgive her, Lord, and draw her closer to You.
We pray for this man, Lord. If he is the one You have for her, soften his heart and help him see the change You have worked in her. If he is not, give her the strength to release him to You, trusting that You have someone better prepared for her. Lord, we ask that You would heal her heart from this pain. Mend the brokenness and fill her with Your joy. Help her to trust in Your timing and Your plan, even when it is hard.
Father, we also pray for wisdom. Show her if this relationship is something she should pursue or if she needs to let go. Give her the courage to walk in purity and holiness, whether that means waiting for marriage or moving forward in faith. Lord, we ask that You would restore her strength and renew her hope. Remind her that You are close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18 WEB) and that You will never leave her nor forsake her.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the only name by which we are saved. Amen.
Dear sister, we want to encourage you with this truth: God sees your tears, and He collects every one of them (Psalm 56:8 WEB). He is not ignoring your pain. But we must trust Him with the outcome, even when it is hard. If this man is not the one God has for you, He has someone better, a man who will love you as Christ loves the church, who will cherish you and lead you in godliness. If this man is the one, God will restore him in His timing, not yours. But you must surrender this to Him fully.
We also encourage you to seek godly counsel, perhaps from a pastor or a mature Christian woman who can walk with you through this. Sometimes, we need others to help us see God’s will more clearly. And remember, your worth is not found in this relationship. Your worth is found in Christ, who loved you enough to die for you (Romans 5:8 WEB). You are His beloved daughter, and He has a plan for your life, a plan for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11 WEB).
Keep praying, but pray with open hands, willing to accept God’s answer, even if it is not what you want. Keep seeking Him, not just for this relationship, but for who He is. And know that we are praying for you, that God would fill you with His peace and guide you into His perfect will.