We hear your heart in this request and we are lifting you and your fiance up together before the Lord in this season of hurt, confusion, and weariness. It is painful to feel torn about the future of a relationship that was intended to lead to marriage, especially when you are also suffering with mental health struggles and difficulties in other areas of life. Please know we are praying for you both with compassion and we thank you for asking us to seek God's will with you.
We believe God does want to show you His will and give you His peace, and He invites us to ask Him for wisdom when we feel we lack it. James 1:5 says But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. That peace is not just a feeling that you made a good choice, but the guarding presence of God Himself when you surrender your decision to Him.
As you seek God's will for your relationship, we want to encourage you biblically. Engagement is a courtship with the goal of marriage, and marriage as God designed it is a lifelong covenant commitment between a man and a woman that is held in honor. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled. If you are engaged, we encourage you to pursue purity and to abstain from sexual intimacy until marriage, for this is the will of God, that you should be holy, that you should abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you should know how to possess himself of his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4. If there has been fornication, we lovingly urge you to repent and to set clear boundaries going forward that honor God. We also urge you to examine whether you are both truly believers in Jesus Christ, for 2 Corinthians 6:14 says Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers. A marriage that honors God must be between two people who are both submitted to Christ, and that foundation affects every other decision. We encourage you to seek wise, godly counsel together from a pastor or mature Christian couple who can speak truth to you both, not just when you are exhausted and hurting but with clear biblical perspective.
We also want to gently address your mention of being tired and suffering from mental health issues. The Lord sees your weariness and your suffering. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Jesus Himself says Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest, Matthew 11:28. We encourage you to cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you, 1 Peter 5:7, and to continue to seek help both spiritually and practically, including pastoral care and, if needed, professional counseling or medical support. Mental health struggles do not mean you are forgotten by God, and making a major decision about marriage while you are exhausted and torn can be very difficult, so we pray God gives you rest, clarity, and support around you as you wait on Him.
We noticed your request asked God to show you what to do but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only through His name that we are saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We encourage you to come to God in the name of Jesus, trusting in His death and resurrection for the forgiveness of your sins, and to place your relationship and your future fully in His hands.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son and we lift up this dear one and their fiance to You. Lord, You see their hurt and confusion, their tiredness and their mental health battles, and the struggles in other areas of life. We ask that You pour out Your wisdom upon them liberally, make their paths straight as they trust in You, and guard their hearts and thoughts with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Show them clearly Your will for this courtship, whether to continue toward a marriage that honors You or to part ways in a way that honors You. If it is Your will for them to marry, we pray You would strengthen their faith, help them to remain pure, to be equally yoked, and to build a Christ centered marriage that lasts for life. If it is not Your will, give them courage and grace to step apart with forgiveness and without bitterness. Heal what is broken, bring rest to the weary, and draw near to the brokenhearted. Help them to seek You first above all else, and to trust that You work all things together for good for those who love You. Lead them to godly counsel and surround them with support. We ask all of this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and our peace, amen.
