Relationship restoration

Cyruirainton

Disciple of Prayer
Dear Pastor, Please pray for me and the person I love. He has told me that he does not want me, and those words have deeply hurt my heart. God knows how much I love him and how much I wish I could speak to him again. I don't want to force him or disturb him. I only ask God to look into both our hearts and into every situation that has brought us this far apart. If there is any hurt, misunderstanding, or problem between us, please pray that God heals it. Please pray for him, protect him, bless him, and help him with whatever he is going through. And please pray for me, because some days this pain feels too heavy to carry. Give me strength, peace, patience, and the faith to trust God even when I don't understand. If it is truly God's will, please open a way for us to speak again and give us another chance at the right time. But above everything, let God's will be done and keep my heart from losing hope or losing myself in this pain. Amen. 🙏❤️
 
We have read your request and we join with you in bringing it before the Lord with a heavy yet hopeful heart. We hear your pain in his words that he does not want you, and we hear also your tender and selfless love for him in that you do not want to force him or disturb him but only want God's healing and God's will to be done. That posture honors God.

We want to gently encourage you to guard your heart even as you love him. God calls us to love sincerely but also to trust Him above any human relationship. We are reminded in Proverbs 4:23 to guard our hearts with all diligence, and in Proverbs 3:5-6 to trust in Yahweh with all our heart and not lean on our own understanding, for in all our ways if we acknowledge Him He will direct our paths. It is right to pray for healing of any hurt or misunderstanding, but it is also right to respect his clearly spoken decision and to place your future fully in God's hands, knowing that God sees both your hearts and every situation that has brought this distance.

We also want to encourage you regarding the nature of this relationship. In God's design, a relationship between a man and a woman is to be a courtship that prayerfully seeks marriage as a lifelong commitment, honoring God in purity and faith. We pray that if God does open a way for you to speak again and for this relationship to be restored, it would be as a godly courtship between two believers in Christ, looking toward marriage, keeping yourselves pure before God. For Hebrews 13:4 tells us marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral, and 2 Corinthians 6:14 calls us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. We do not know the details of your past, but we encourage you to commit any future relationship to holiness, fleeing from fornication and seeking to honor God with your bodies and spirits.

We also noticed that your request spoke of God but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We say this in love because there is no other way to the Father except through Him. Jesus Himself said in John 14:6, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 reminds us there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. It is only through faith in Jesus, His death and resurrection for our sins, that we have access to God and assurance that He hears our prayers. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, for Romans 10:9 says if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is in His name we pray and find peace that passes understanding.

We are praying for you and for him together.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You for our dear sister in her heartache. You are near to those who have a broken heart and save those who have a crushed spirit as Psalm 34:18 says, and You heal the broken in heart and bind up their wounds as Psalm 147:3 says. Lord we lift up this young man to You, we ask that You protect him, bless him, keep him, and work in his heart and life wherever he is and whatever he is going through. Soften any hurt, remove any misunderstanding, and bring clarity and truth between them if it is Your will. For our sister, we ask that You lift this heavy burden, for Your Word says in 1 Peter 5:7 to cast all our worries on You because You care for us, and in Philippians 4:6-7 not to be anxious but in everything by prayer to let our requests be made known to You, and Your peace which surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus. Give her strength when she is weak, peace when she is troubled, patience in waiting, and faith to trust You even when she does not understand, knowing Romans 8:28 that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. If it is Your perfect will, open a door at the right time for godly communication and restoration that would lead toward a Christ centered marriage. But above all, let Your will be done. Keep her from losing hope or losing herself in this pain, help her to delight herself in You first, and to find her identity and completeness in Christ. Draw her closer to Jesus each day and remind her that You have plans for her welfare and not for calamity to give her a future and a hope as Jeremiah 29:11 says, and that when she comes weary and burdened, Jesus invites her in Matthew 11:28 to come and find rest. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and mediator, amen.

We encourage you to continue to pour your heart out to God daily, to stay rooted in Scripture and prayer, to surround yourself with godly counsel and fellowship, and to rest in the knowledge that God loves you more deeply than any person ever could. Even if restoration does not come as you hope, God is still good and He will not waste this pain. He will use it to shape you, to make you more like Christ, and to prepare you for the future He has for you, whether that includes this man as a godly husband or a different path that still reflects His perfect love for you. Keep trusting, keep hoping in the Lord, and let His will be your greatest desire.
 
We hear how deeply those words hurt you, and how heavy some days have felt since. Thank you for sharing your heart so honestly with us. The way you spoke about not wanting to force or disturb him, while still carrying so much love and pain, shows real grace and respect even in grief.

We want you to know you are not alone in this. It makes sense that you feel torn between hope and sorrow, and that trusting God feels harder when you don't understand what is happening. Please be gentle with yourself in this season. Grief after feeling rejected takes time, and healing rarely happens all at once.

One thing that can help is not carrying this by yourself. If you have a trusted pastor, counselor, or mature friend in your church family, consider letting one safe person walk with you regularly, someone who can listen, pray with you in person, and help you keep steady rhythms of rest, work, and worship. Giving both of you space without checking his messages or social media can also protect your heart from reopening the wound each day.

We are praying for you, and for him as well.

Father, we lift this dear heart to You. You see every tear and every question. Bring comfort where there is ache, quiet the thoughts that feel overwhelming, and guard this heart from losing hope or losing itself in pain. Give strength for each day, peace that steadies, and patience to trust You one step at a time. Lead with Your wisdom and let Your will be done in both lives. We ask this in Jesus' name, amen.
 
Lord Jesus please richly bless, protect and guide them. Please help them in accordance with your perfect will Father. Thank you and praise you. In your holy name I pray. Amen.
 
Your prayer has been heard with tenderness and with sorrow for the heaviness that now presses upon your heart. To have love poured out and to hear the words, I do not want you, is a wound that cuts deeply, and it is right that you have brought it before the Lord who sees all hearts and all situations that have brought you to this place.

Scripture says, He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. This is His work and His promise. No other hand can do it, but He will do it for those who cast their burden upon Him. While Jehovah lives, the mourner need not despair. Bring your brokenness to Him in honest prayer, not with presumption but with repentance and trust, for it is His prerogative to forgive and to heal, and He delights to exercise it. The healing virtue of His grace will keep the soul in health until glory begins.

You have asked rightly that you do not wish to force or to disturb the one you love, and this is wise and honouring to God. All things are under regulation and have an appointed place in God's plan, and nothing happens but what He permits or ordains. It is foolish for any of us to say we will do as we please, we will have what we desire, without asking God's consent. The true wisdom is to feel in our hearts, if the Lord will, and to submit our strongest affections to that holy will. As surely as God's will is the axle of the universe, so in grace we may rest assured that He is King, having mercy on whom He will have mercy, and working in us to will and to do of His good pleasure.

Therefore we will pray not that our will be done, but that His will be done, in your life and in his. We will not ask God to bless or to restore a relationship apart from His revealed will, for His revealed will must not be violated, and His design for love between a man and a woman is a lifelong covenant of marriage, and that alone is the place for that union which belongs to husband and wife. Apart from that covenant we are called to purity, patience, and self control, and to find our worth not in another's affection but in Christ alone, through whom alone is salvation.

We do pray for you, that the Lord would give you strength for each day, peace that passes understanding, patience in waiting, and faith to trust Him even when you do not understand His ways. May He keep your heart from losing hope and from losing yourself in this pain, and may He teach you to find your song even in the night, knowing that His promise may tarry but it never fails. We pray for him also, that God would protect him, deal graciously with him, bring him to know the Lord Jesus if he does not know Him, and help him in whatever trial he is passing through.

If it be the Lord's will to change hearts, He is able to make the unwilling willing in the day of His power, but that work belongs to Him and not to our striving. We leave both your hearts in His hands. Whether He opens a way for you to speak again at the right time, or whether He leads you by another path, may you be kept from bitterness and may you grow like Him who was meek and lowly. Seek first to be healed and pardoned yourself, to be whole in Christ, for healing and forgiveness are placed in happy conjunction for His people.

May the Lord turn His gracious look upon you, dissolve your sorrow into repentance and hope, and keep you till you can say from a full heart, Your will be done. Amen.
 

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