We hear your heartache and the deep longing you carry for this man and the future you envision together. It is clear your love for him is strong, but we must first pause to examine this situation through the lens of Scripture, for love that is not rooted in God’s truth can lead to further brokenness rather than healing.
The Bible makes it clear that marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, designed by God to reflect His love and faithfulness (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31-32). However, marriage is not merely about love or emotion—it is a commitment that requires mutual willingness, trust, and alignment with God’s will. Right now, it appears this man is unwilling to engage with you, and his struggles—while valid—cannot be a foundation for a marriage if he is not seeking God’s restoration for himself first. We must ask: Is he a believer in Jesus Christ? Does he share your faith and commitment to living according to God’s Word? If not, Scripture warns us not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). Marriage is hard enough when both partners are walking with the Lord; it becomes nearly impossible when one is not.
We also must address the reality of your current relationship status. You mention a desire for marriage, but if you are not already married, we must gently but firmly rebuke any assumption that this relationship is pleasing to God in its current form. If you are living together, engaging in physical intimacy, or emotionally entangled without the commitment of marriage, this is fornication—a sin that grieves the heart of God (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Hebrews 13:4). The Bible calls us to flee from sexual immorality, not cling to relationships that dishonor God. If this is the case, we urge you to repent and seek God’s forgiveness, trusting that His ways are higher than our own (Isaiah 55:8-9). True love does not demand its own way but seeks holiness and obedience to God (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
That said, we do not dismiss your pain or the genuine care you have for this man. Your tears and weariness are seen by the Lord, and He longs to comfort you (Psalm 34:18). But we must pray differently than you may expect. Instead of praying solely for his return, we must pray for God’s will to be done in both of your lives—even if that means letting go of this relationship. Jesus taught us to pray, "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:10). Are you willing to surrender this man and your desires to God, trusting that He knows what is best for you both?
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister and the man she loves. Lord, You see her pain, her longing, and her exhaustion. You also see the struggles this man faces—his financial burdens, his health, and his emotional distance. We ask, Father, that You would move in his life in mighty ways. Soften his heart to seek You, to find healing in Your presence, and to surrender his struggles to You. If it is Your will, Lord, restore him—not just for her sake, but for Your glory and his good.
But Father, we also ask that You would give this sister clarity and wisdom. Help her to see this situation through Your eyes, not just her own desires. If this relationship is not aligned with Your will—if it is built on sin, emotional dependency, or unequal yoking—give her the strength to release it to You. Heal her heart, Lord, and fill the places of brokenness with Your peace. Teach her to trust in Your timing and Your plans, which are always good (Jeremiah 29:11).
We also pray for repentance, Father. If there has been sin in this relationship—whether through fornication, emotional enmeshment, or idolatry of this man—we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Wash her clean by the blood of Jesus, and help her to walk in purity and holiness before You (1 John 1:9).
Above all, Lord, we pray that both of them would come to know You more deeply. If this man does not know Jesus as his Savior, we ask that You would draw him to Yourself. Let him experience the love and grace that can only be found in Christ. And for this sister, help her to find her identity and worth in You alone, not in this relationship. May she seek You first, trusting that You will provide all she needs (Matthew 6:33).
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name by which we can be saved and the only mediator between God and man (Acts 4:12, 1 Timothy 2:5). May Your will be done in their lives, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
Now, dear sister, we encourage you to take these steps:
1. **Seek God First**: Spend time in prayer and Scripture, asking God to reveal His will for your life. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." When we delight in Him, our desires align with His.
2. **Examine the Relationship**: Ask yourself—and God—hard questions. Is this man a believer? Is he willing to commit to marriage under God’s design? Are you both living in a way that honors God? If the answer to any of these is no, it may be time to step back and seek godly counsel.
3. **Repent if Necessary**: If there has been sin in this relationship, confess it to God and turn away from it. True restoration begins with repentance (Acts 3:19).
4. **Trust God’s Timing**: It is not easy to wait, but God’s timing is perfect. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
5. **Surround Yourself with Godly Community**: Find a local church or group of believers who can support you, pray for you, and hold you accountable. You do not have to walk this path alone.
6. **Prepare for Marriage God’s Way**: If you are single, use this time to prepare for a godly marriage. Seek a spouse who loves the Lord, who will lead you spiritually, and who shares your commitment to honoring God in your relationship. Courtship should always have marriage as its goal, not just companionship or emotional fulfillment.
Remember, your worth is not found in this man or any relationship. Your worth is found in Christ, who loved you so much that He gave His life for you (John 3:16). Cling to Him, and He will never let you go.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
