We come before the Lord with you in this time of deep seeking and burden, lifting your heart before the Father who knows all things and cares for you intimately. First, we must address something foundational: your prayer does not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access to God’s throne. The Scriptures are clear that there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved, and it is only through Jesus that our prayers are heard. *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me'* (John 14:6, WEB). *"For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5, WEB). We urge you to place your faith in Him if you have not already, and to always approach God through the name of Jesus, for it is by His authority and merit that we can boldly come before the Father.
Now, let us speak to the matters weighing on your heart. Regarding your relationship, we must first ask: are you and your fiancé both born-again believers in Jesus Christ? The Bible is clear that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). If he is not a follower of Christ, this is a critical issue that must be addressed before moving forward. Even if he is a believer, the concerns you’ve raised—anger issues, addiction to his phone, and a lack of trustworthiness—are not minor. These are serious red flags that must not be ignored, especially as you consider marriage, which is a lifelong covenant before God.
Anger is a destructive force that can tear apart a marriage and a home. The Bible warns, *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath"* (Ephesians 4:26, WEB). If his anger is uncontrolled, it is not in line with the fruit of the Spirit, which includes *"love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control"* (Galatians 5:22-23, WEB). An addiction to his phone may seem less severe, but it can be a symptom of deeper issues—idolatry, escapism, or even emotional unfaithfulness. Trust is the foundation of marriage, and if it is lacking now, it will only become more difficult after vows are exchanged. Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for His church, a love that is sacrificial, faithful, and pure. If this relationship does not honor God in these ways, it is not a relationship you should enter into, no matter how much love you feel.
We urge you to seek God’s will above your own desires or fears. You mentioned that you are older and tired of moving, but it is far better to walk away now than to enter into a marriage that is not of God and face greater heartache later. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). Even if he is a believer, if he is not walking in obedience to Christ, you must prayerfully consider whether this is a union God is calling you to. *"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"* (Amos 3:3, WEB). Pray for discernment, and do not let fear or loneliness drive your decision. God’s plan for you is good, and He will provide clarity if you seek Him with all your heart.
Now, regarding your brother, our hearts break for the pain and destruction addiction has brought to him and your family. Alcoholism is a bondage that destroys lives, families, and legacies. Your brother’s choices have caused immense suffering, especially to your aging parents, who should not have to bear this burden in their later years. While we are called to love and pray for those enslaved by sin, we must also recognize that enabling sinful behavior is not love—it is often the opposite. *"Don’t participate in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead reprove them"* (Ephesians 5:11, WEB). Your parents’ well-being must be protected, and sometimes love requires setting boundaries.
Your brother’s story is a tragic example of what happens when we surrender to sin rather than to Christ. *"Don’t you know that to whom you present yourselves as servants to obedience, his servants you are whom you obey; whether of sin to death, or of obedience to righteousness?"* (Romans 6:16, WEB). He needs more than human help—he needs the transforming power of Jesus Christ. Pray that God would break the chains of addiction in his life and that he would come to true repentance. But also pray for wisdom for your family, that they would know how to help without enabling his destruction. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is to stop rescuing someone from the consequences of their sin, so they might finally turn to God in desperation.
Let us pray together for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our sister who is seeking Your will in her life. Lord, we ask that You would open her eyes to see clearly the path You have for her. If this relationship is not of You, give her the strength and courage to walk away, no matter how painful it may feel. Father, protect her from making a decision out of fear, loneliness, or compromise. Remind her that Your plans for her are good, and that You have not called her to a life of bondage or unrest. If this man is not the husband You have for her, close the door firmly and redirect her steps toward the godly marriage You desire for her. Give her wisdom to recognize a man who loves You above all else, who walks in self-control, and who will lead her spiritually.
Lord, we also lift up her brother, who is enslaved by addiction. Father, break the chains of alcohol in his life. Bring him to the end of himself so that he might cry out to You for salvation and deliverance. Soften his heart, Lord, and convict him of his sin. Restore what the locusts have eaten—his family, his dignity, and his purpose. But Father, we also ask for wisdom for the family, especially the parents, who are weary from carrying this burden. Show them how to love him without enabling his sin. Give them the strength to set godly boundaries and the peace to trust You with the outcome.
Father, we rebuked the spirit of confusion, fear, and compromise in our sister’s life. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit, that she may walk in discernment and obedience. Remind her that You are her Provider, her Protector, and her Peace. Let her not be swayed by emotion but grounded in Your truth. And Lord, if she does not know You as her Savior, we pray that today would be the day she surrenders her life to Jesus Christ, that she may have eternal life and the power to walk in victory.
We ask all these things in the precious and mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to spend time in God’s Word, seeking His face daily. Surround yourself with wise, godly counsel—perhaps a pastor or mature believers who can speak truth into your life. Do not rush this decision, but wait on the Lord. *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). If this relationship is not honoring to God, trust that He has someone better for you—a man who will love you as Christ loves the church. And if you are not yet walking closely with the Lord, we urge you to repent and surrender your life to Jesus today. There is no greater decision you could make. *"That if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9, WEB). May God grant you peace, clarity, and courage as you seek Him.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
