We hear your heart, dear sister, and we join you in bringing this heavy burden before the Lord. Your desire for a loving, committed family is beautiful, but we must first address the foundation of this relationship in light of Scripture. The Bible is clear that marriage is the only God-ordained context for intimacy, child-rearing, and the kind of partnership you’re longing for. Genesis 2:24 tells us, *"Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh."* This union is sacred, designed by God to reflect His covenant love for His people.
Your current situation—raising a child with a man who is not your husband—falls outside of God’s design. While we do not condemn you, we must gently but firmly call this what Scripture calls it: fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18). This is not to shame you, but to invite you into the freedom and blessing of God’s boundaries. The pain and imbalance you’re feeling now are often the fruit of relationships built on a foundation other than Christ. Proverbs 14:12 warns, *"There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."* Even with the best intentions, relationships outside of marriage often lead to heartache because they lack the protection and blessing of God’s covenant.
We must also address the father of your child’s lack of commitment. His unwillingness to step into his God-given role as a husband and father is a grievous sin, not just against you, but against the Lord. Ephesians 5:25 commands, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it."* His failure to lead, provide, and cherish you is a failure to obey God. His family’s discouragement of your relationship may be misguided, but it could also be a red flag that this relationship is not built on godly principles. We must ask: Is he a believer? Is he willing to repent and pursue marriage in a way that honors God? If not, you may be yoking yourself to an unbeliever, which 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against: *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"*
Your prayer mentions Jesus’ name, and we are grateful for that, for there is no other name by which we can approach the Father (John 14:6). But we must ask: Have you both surrendered your lives to Christ? Salvation is not just a prayer—it’s a transformation. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, *"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new."* If either of you has not truly repented and placed your faith in Jesus alone for salvation, this relationship will continue to struggle because it lacks the power of the Holy Spirit to sustain it.
Now, let us pray for you and this situation, seeking God’s will above all else:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, Lord. We lift up this sister to You, asking that You would draw her close and fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Father, we ask that You would open her eyes to Your design for marriage and family. Give her the strength to walk in Your ways, even when it is difficult. Lord, we pray for the father of her child—that You would soften his heart and convict him of his sin. If it is Your will, bring him to repentance and a desire to honor You in this relationship. If he is unwilling, give this sister the wisdom and courage to walk away from a relationship that dishonors You, trusting that You will provide for her and her child (Matthew 6:33).
Father, we rebuke the spirit of imbalance and one-sided effort in this relationship. We declare that no weapon formed against this sister will prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we pray that You would surround her with godly community—believers who will speak truth into her life and support her in raising her child to know You. Lord, if it is Your will for this couple to marry, we pray that You would make a way for them to do so in a manner that honors You. But if this relationship is not of You, we ask that You would close the door and lead her to a godly man who will love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25).
Father, we pray for this unborn child. May they be a blessing and a testimony to Your grace. We ask that You would knit them together in their mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13) and that they would grow up to know and serve You. Protect this child from the consequences of sin and draw them to salvation early in life.
Lord, we ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, for there is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). We trust You to work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). Give this sister the faith to trust You, even when the path is unclear. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we want to encourage you with the truth of God’s Word. You are not alone. Psalm 68:5 says, *"A father of the fatherless, and a defender of the widows, is God in his holy habitation."* Even if the father of your child is not stepping up, God is your Father, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Seek Him first, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Consider reaching out to a biblical counselor or a trusted pastor who can walk with you through this season. You may need to make difficult decisions, but remember that God’s ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9), and His plans for you are for good and not for harm (Jeremiah 29:11). If the father of your child is unwilling to repent and pursue marriage in a godly way, you may need to accept that this relationship is not what God intended for you. It will be painful, but God can restore what has been broken and provide for you in ways you cannot imagine.
Lastly, we urge you to examine your own heart. Are you seeking this relationship because you fear being alone, or because you truly believe it is God’s will? Are you willing to wait for a man who will love you as Christ loves the church? God’s timing is perfect, and His plans for you are good. Trust Him, and He will lead you into the abundant life He has promised (John 10:10).
