Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You come with a heart weighed down and a flood of words, but let us consider the foundation of your plea. The woman who touched the hem of Christ's garment heard Him say: "Daughter, be of good cheer; thy faith hath made thee whole." She came trembling and afraid, yet her faith drew her into the family of God. So too the Canaanite mother, who cried for her tormented child, heard at last: "Great is thy faith; be it unto thee even as thou wilt." In both cases, the faith of a soul became the channel of healing. But mark this: their faith was joined to humility, to a recognition of their own unworthiness and of Christ's sole power to save. You plead the blood, you declare and bind, and these are pious words, but see that your faith rests not in the abundance of speech but in the quiet work of repentance and the steadfast trust that God sees your affliction. When Paul was pressed out of measure, beyond his strength, he despaired even of life, not trusting in himself, but in God who raises the dead. So your trial, which threatens to swallow you up, is meant to teach you that deliverance belongs to the Lord, not to the force of your declarations.
You cry out for your daughter, and rightly so. She has chosen a path outside the divine design, a living arrangement that dishonors the marriage bed and enslaves her to a man who is no shepherd but a hired hand. Yet what is the remedy? First, you must be a pattern to her of modesty and godly fear. Daughters learn from their mothers; they imitate what they see. If you would have her flee from worldly enticements, then let your own life shine with that true ornament of the soul which is gentleness, orderliness, and the fear of God. You cannot merely rebuke from afar; you must so live that your home becomes a refuge of peace, and your conduct a silent sermon that pricks her conscience. When you seek a husband for a daughter, you do not sell her to the highest bidder or to the most cunning flatterer; you beseech Christ to be present, and you say: "Lord, whom You will, do You provide." Piety of soul, true understanding, these are the jewels to look for, not wealth or smooth speech. And if she has already bound herself unwisely, then your weapon is not clamorous censure but persistent prayer, offered with tears and fasting, that the scales may fall from her eyes and that she may long for the freedom of her Father's house, like the prodigal who remembered the bread in his father's home.
But do not imagine that the evil you describe will be overthrown merely by tying together verses of Scripture. The blood of Christ is not a charm to be recited; it is the fountain opened for sin and uncleanness, and its power reaches those who walk in the light. You declare that no weapon formed against you shall prosper, and this is a true promise, but it belongs to those whose way is upright, whose trust is in the Lord, and who do not lean on their own understanding. Plead the blood, yes, but also confess every secret sin, forgive every trespass, and cast out first the beam from your own eye, that you may see clearly to help your daughter. Pray that God would grant her a godly sorrow, which works repentance unto salvation. And pray also for this young man and his mother, that they might turn from their selfish designs. Yet be prepared: God sometimes permits a bitter harvest to be reaped from the seeds of folly, so that the soul, tasting the gall of its own bondage, may cry out for deliverance. In that hour, let your mercy be swift and full of grace, and let your words be few, seasoned with salt, speaking the truth in love.
Nothing is more pleasurable than virtue, nothing sweeter than a house ordered in the fear of God. Restore your own spirit to calmness, for the enemy works through the tumult of the heart. Your son and younger daughter watch you; let them see a mother who casts her cares upon Christ and stands firm in hope. Cease from anxious scheming, and commit the matter entirely into God's hands, as the servant of Abraham prayed at the well and saw Rebekah brought forth. God, who gave His own Son for you, will not withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly. The peace you seek for your home will not come by a mere command, but by the daily dying to self, by the quiet ordering of your household in righteousness, and by trusting that He who began a good work will complete it in His time. Go now, and let your faith be proved genuine, purer than gold tried in the fire, that at the appearing of Jesus Christ, you and your household may be found blameless, to His glory.
You cry out for your daughter, and rightly so. She has chosen a path outside the divine design, a living arrangement that dishonors the marriage bed and enslaves her to a man who is no shepherd but a hired hand. Yet what is the remedy? First, you must be a pattern to her of modesty and godly fear. Daughters learn from their mothers; they imitate what they see. If you would have her flee from worldly enticements, then let your own life shine with that true ornament of the soul which is gentleness, orderliness, and the fear of God. You cannot merely rebuke from afar; you must so live that your home becomes a refuge of peace, and your conduct a silent sermon that pricks her conscience. When you seek a husband for a daughter, you do not sell her to the highest bidder or to the most cunning flatterer; you beseech Christ to be present, and you say: "Lord, whom You will, do You provide." Piety of soul, true understanding, these are the jewels to look for, not wealth or smooth speech. And if she has already bound herself unwisely, then your weapon is not clamorous censure but persistent prayer, offered with tears and fasting, that the scales may fall from her eyes and that she may long for the freedom of her Father's house, like the prodigal who remembered the bread in his father's home.
But do not imagine that the evil you describe will be overthrown merely by tying together verses of Scripture. The blood of Christ is not a charm to be recited; it is the fountain opened for sin and uncleanness, and its power reaches those who walk in the light. You declare that no weapon formed against you shall prosper, and this is a true promise, but it belongs to those whose way is upright, whose trust is in the Lord, and who do not lean on their own understanding. Plead the blood, yes, but also confess every secret sin, forgive every trespass, and cast out first the beam from your own eye, that you may see clearly to help your daughter. Pray that God would grant her a godly sorrow, which works repentance unto salvation. And pray also for this young man and his mother, that they might turn from their selfish designs. Yet be prepared: God sometimes permits a bitter harvest to be reaped from the seeds of folly, so that the soul, tasting the gall of its own bondage, may cry out for deliverance. In that hour, let your mercy be swift and full of grace, and let your words be few, seasoned with salt, speaking the truth in love.
Nothing is more pleasurable than virtue, nothing sweeter than a house ordered in the fear of God. Restore your own spirit to calmness, for the enemy works through the tumult of the heart. Your son and younger daughter watch you; let them see a mother who casts her cares upon Christ and stands firm in hope. Cease from anxious scheming, and commit the matter entirely into God's hands, as the servant of Abraham prayed at the well and saw Rebekah brought forth. God, who gave His own Son for you, will not withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly. The peace you seek for your home will not come by a mere command, but by the daily dying to self, by the quiet ordering of your household in righteousness, and by trusting that He who began a good work will complete it in His time. Go now, and let your faith be proved genuine, purer than gold tried in the fire, that at the appearing of Jesus Christ, you and your household may be found blameless, to His glory.
