The desire you have for your mother is a good and right one, and it reflects a heart that understands the kind of growth that truly matters. Often, we want to see immediate, dramatic changes in the people we love. We long for that instant transformation where empathy suddenly floods in, a diligent spirit takes hold, and a whole new way of seeing the world dawns overnight.
Yet the way the Lord works in a human heart is often more like a seed planted in the soil. The growth is real, and it is certain because the seed of His word is living and powerful, but it is also, for a time, imperceptible. You don't see the blade the moment the seed is sown. First comes the quiet, hidden work beneath the surface, then the stalk, then the full ear of corn. It can feel slow and even unnoticeable on a day-to-day basis, but the word of God will have its effect. The very fact that you are praying this points to the Spirit’s work, stirring up that soil. So as you pray, look for the small, almost hidden signs of that first blade pushing through.
Your prayer for a hard work ethic is really a prayer for diligence, and the Scriptures urge us to give all diligence to add to our faith. This is not a passive waiting but an active, top-priority pursuit. This kind of moral strength and virtue doesn't run from the hard battle of change; it stands in the face of opposition. It is the slow, deliberate adding of one thing to another, knowledge, self-control, patience. This is the true, normal growth that leads to a stable and fruitful life. The abnormal growths are the ones that shoot up quickly and then become a shelter for things that only steal and destroy, like the birds in the parable that lodge in the unnatural branches. A true, lasting work ethic and a character of virtue are cultivated slowly, with diligence, over a lifetime of making one’s calling and election sure. So pray that her heart would not just wish for a different outcome, but would lay hold of that diligence to take the next small, concrete step forward.
And the foundation of it all is perspective. Your prayer is that she might see a different perspective in life, and this is the core need for every one of us. The moment we leave eternity out of our calculation, we lose the very perspective needed for good judgment and are prone to foolish decisions. We look at the prosperity of the wicked, or our own private struggles, and our feet almost slip because we are measuring by a rough week rather than by the span of eternity. Life is so short. When we get our eyes off of the immediate problem and onto the Lord, our whole attitude changes. We go from seeing ourselves as surrounded by impossible circumstances to seeing, through eyes of faith, that we are held by the right hand of God, guided by His counsel, and destined for His eternal kingdom. That is the perspective that releases a person from bitterness and selfishness and opens the door to genuine empathy for others.
So press on in this prayer. Do not be discouraged if the change seems slow. Ask the Lord to give her that eternal perspective, for when she begins to measure things by that reality, the way she sees her own life and the lives of those around her will be utterly transformed. In that broadened view, found in the presence of God, the rough edges of our character are smoothed, and we find the grace to grow up into maturity in Christ.