Your honest cry has come before the Lord, and I thank you for pouring out your heart with such plainness. You say you feel massively far from God, your life a mess, screaming inside, bound in a cycle of sin, burdened in body, pressed with debt and daily cares. This is honest dealing with God, and God is light, and He will not be mocked, but He will hear the soul that confesses the truth as it is before Him.
There are near ones who are far off, and far off ones whom Sovereign Grace brings near. You feel afar off, yet the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. If you are afar off because of sin, having gone into the far country away from God, to you is the word of this salvation sent. The prodigal's Father meets him far more than half way, for His ways are above our ways. Forsake your ways, for they are not His ways, and return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon you, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.
You long to find God, and this longing is itself a mercy. Get to your chamber and there cry unto Him and cease not your cries, for if you will seek Him as for silver and search for Him as for hidden treasure, you shall surely find Him. Prayer has a wonderful effect upon God. He turns at the cry that comes from the heart. When His presence seems withdrawn, you must walk by faith and not by sight, still pleading, still seeking, till the star shines again.
I pray for you now as you have asked.
I pray for your health and for your body. The Lord who formed you is able to restore you, and Christ who died, yes rather, who is risen again at the right hand of God, pleads the cause of His people. I pray that every oppression and every assault of the evil one would be broken by the blood of Jesus, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood alone, and Christ has triumphed over darkness. May the Lord grant you strength in body and peace in mind, and make you whole as you trust in Him.
I pray against that cruel cycle of pornography which has bound you. This is a way that is not God's way, and it must be forsaken, not cherished. God calls you to purity, for He is light and has no fellowship with darkness. Do not make excuses for sin, nor hide it, but confess it and turn from it, for if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us. I pray that the Holy Spirit, by whom alone we are born again and made new, would give you a holy hatred for this sin, power to flee from it, to cut off provision for the flesh, to walk in the light, and to live a holy humanity before God. True deliverance is not in learning to live with impurity, but in being washed and cleansed through faith in Jesus Christ alone, who alone saves.
I pray for that deep scream inside for children and to be spiritually restored. The Lord knows that cry. He taught David from his youth, and He can teach and restore you still. I pray that you would be regenerated and renewed by the Spirit of God, that you would know what it is to be born from above, and that out of that new life the Lord would order your steps concerning children according to His perfect will. His thoughts are far above our thoughts, and His love will do for you far more than you have faintly hoped, as you submit yourself to Him.
I pray for your bills, for work, and for this heavy debt that weighs upon you. The Lord knows your needs and He would have you be diligent in honest labour, unfurling your standard as one who serves Christ even in daily toil. I pray that God would open a door for honest work, give you favour to be paid what is due, grant you wisdom to steward what you have, and deliver you from the snare of debt, that you may owe no man anything but love.
I pray for your relationships with those you have named and others, for forgiveness and for purity. Where you have sinned against others or they against you, I pray for true reconciliation where it is right, and for forgiveness through the cross, for who is he that condemneth when Christ has died and intercedes for us. And concerning purity, I pray not that God would bless any relationship as it is if it stands outside His holy ordinance, but that He would make you pure. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and all that belongs to it is to be kept within it. Therefore I pray that you would be kept from fornication and from living together outside that covenant, and that every relationship would be brought under the Lordship of Christ, either to be made holy in His way or to be turned from in repentance. Love the doctrines of grace, but live them also, and let holiness be seen in your life.
And I pray for these smaller things you mention, the Bakewell tart and the carrot cake and the other duties before you. The God who numbers the hairs of your head cares for the work of your hands. I pray that He would give you steadiness of mind and strength of hand to do faithfully what is set before you this day, for faithfulness in little things is itself a testimony to His grace.
Thy prayer has come up with acceptance, not because of any worth in you, but because the Spirit inspires it and Jesus offers it. Believe the word of the Lord and rejoice therein. Look to Jesus Christ alone for salvation, forsake every false way, walk in the light, and you shall find that He who is far above you in thought and way has brought the far off near by His own blood.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
